Something a nurse said to me at clinicals...

Nurses General Nursing

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and I cannot stop thinking about it. Last week at clinicals, I was taking care of an elderly gentleman. He had surgery a few days prior and was having repeated bouts of nausea and diarrhea. He felt really bad as he couldn't get out of bed and kept apologizing. I told him that he didn't need to apologize, that's what I was there for. Well the nurse was just disgusted with this man and on her way out of the room says to me "well he will be dead soon anyways". I was so shocked she would say that. Honestly. I mean if that is the way she feels, then why in the hell is she a nurse??? I just cannot believe that someone in such a supposed "caring" profession would even think, let alone verbalize something like that. She said this in the room! This man was completely aware of what was going on. My heart just broke for him. And honestly, I am mad at myself for not saying something to the nurse. Ok, that's all. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

It's not too late to report her. Talk to your nursing instructor.

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Specializes in Hospice.

Respectfully, the advice to not address the incident with the patient bothers me.

I agree that it's a delicate situation, because it''s completely unacceptable to "instigate" a conflict or to trash a colleague with a patient. A bit like reverse staff-splitting.

On the other hand, the info in the OP implies that the patient is either elderly or terminally ill ("He's going to die anyway"). To make things worse, the patient was awake and aware and heard everything. The OP implies that staff impatience was an ongoing phenomenon with this man (apologizing for needing help).

Not mentioning this incident to the patient is, in a word, crazy-making and, IMHO, reinforces to the patient that he has no right to either his feelings or to help. If nothing else, he probably needs validation and reassurance.

Again, when I'm faced with a patient venting about harsh treatment, I'll usually say something like "I'm sorry that happened ... it must have hurt a lot". If the pt wants to get into a conversation criticizing the offending staffer, I'll tell them that I'm not that person's boss and it's not my place to discipline them. At that point, I let them know the process for presenting complaints, then try to get the conversation back to the pt and what he needs to feel better.

Write-ups can be tricky and contribute to workplace toxicity, so I really do think twice about filing one. If I don't, I make it my business to let the co-worker know about the patient's reaction. Sometimes the situation is more complicated than we think.

Since the OP is a student on her clinicals, I think the advice to consult her instructor is very sound.

Not meant to be on a high horse ... just wanted to get the patient's needs in the mix, somewhere.

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this is so terrible. imagine if it was your relative that so-called nurse was talking about?

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I also wanted to add, that I am fairly certain that the patient did not hear what the nurse said. Thank God! I will speak with my instructor about this on Tuesday. I realize that it's the best thing to do. Thanks for all the advice guys!

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Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.
I also wanted to add, that I am fairly certain that the patient did not hear what the nurse said. Thank God! I will speak with my instructor about this on Tuesday. I realize that it's the best thing to do. Thanks for all the advice guys!

The patient may not have heard it this time but who knows what she's said around this patient and others before? Patients come pick up a lot about our body language as well and it sounds like this nurse has a horrible attitude about her.

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Specializes in ER.

Just to give another take on the situation- when I read the story I was thinking about the torture this guy was going through and how hard it would be to witness it. I assumed the RN said what she did out of the patient's earshot, and took it to mean that he soon wouldn't be suffering any more.

What if she had said "Well, he'll soon be at peace anyway." It indicates some sympathy for her patient and regret about his condition.

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Specializes in Adult Critical Care, Cardiothoracic Surgery.

One of the most important lessons you learn during clinicals was what kind of nurse you DO NOT want to be!

It sounds like you have a very caring nature and are on the right track to being a good nurse.:D

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Specializes in Hospice.

The OP said this in the original post: "She said this in the room! This man was completely aware of what was going on."

If the patient did not hear the comment, as OP later stated, then I disagree with all the advice to report the nurse ... although talking it over with the clinical instructor is an excellent idea.

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thankfully the man was completely unaware..and thankfully you were there giving great care..the nurse was defintely out a line, but honestly not every single nurse has a caring heart, or it could have been a momentary lack of compassion, maybe she got some bad news and was feeling upset about it, etc.....but in any event YOU shouldnt feel bad...next time just discuss it in post conference with your clinical instructor and get it off your chest...

Not to correct you or anything, but the Op stated that the patient was completely aware.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.
and I cannot stop thinking about it. Last week at clinicals, I was taking care of an elderly gentleman. He had surgery a few days prior and was having repeated bouts of nausea and diarrhea. He felt really bad as he couldn't get out of bed and kept apologizing. I told him that he didn't need to apologize, that's what I was there for. Well the nurse was just disgusted with this man and on her way out of the room says to me "well he will be dead soon anyways". I was so shocked she would say that. Honestly. I mean if that is the way she feels, then why in the hell is she a nurse??? I just cannot believe that someone in such a supposed "caring" profession would even think, let alone verbalize something like that. She said this in the room! This man was completely aware of what was going on. My heart just broke for him. And honestly, I am mad at myself for not saying something to the nurse. Ok, that's all. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

You need to report that to the nurse manager and the nurse manager's boss. You should not let that go.

Edited to add: I just read some of the other responses and some good points are made. Reporting her directly to the NM could lead to a sticky political situation and possibly make clinicals difficult not just for the student but the school's clinical placement could be jeopardized depending on the position taken by management. My concern is if she takes it to the nursing instructor and no action is taken (which is likely if we are honest with ourselves). This is a very delicate situation.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.

Edited: see above response.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

I am a nursing instructor. If one of my students reported an incident of emotional abuse of a patient to me, I would report this to the manager or liaison for student relations. In fact, I have already done so in a similar incident. It turns out that nurse was previously suspected of other incidents, but the student's statement was enough to get the nurse fired for her actions. I am not sure why it is being suggested that an educator is less likely to uphold the ethical standards of the profession than any other nurse would be. Of course clinical placements are crucial, but I would never jeopardize a patient simply to protect a clinical slot. If the facility tolerates abuse of patients, I don't want my students learning anything from them anyway.

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