So, My Clinical Instructor Hates Me...

[MissJulie]

I'm finishing up the first half of my first semester of an ADN program...

I'm doing great in class (B+ average), lab is awesome, I get along with most of my instructors and classmates, but my clinical instructor seems to hate me!

Now, I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but seriously, she does. She returned our paperwork back to us today and on the comment sheet, she wrote that she shouldn't have had to tell me to change my patient's sheets... Ummmm, I did change my patient's sheets, but she is incontinent of bowel and had a VERY LARGE BM that her diaper/brief just couldn't handle and her sheets suffered from it. She had had the BM during the time I was at the nurse's station getting some info out of her chart, and I was on my way to her room. But, no, it couldn't be that simple, I was, evidently, being lazy.

Anyway, I was wondering if I'm the only one that had an instructor that seemed to hate them? And, if so, how did it go?

(BTW: We're changing instructors after fall break, which is next week.)

[Bob_N_VA]

I don't think she hates you, though she may have drawn the wrong conclusion without knowing all the facts. You may want to try and develop a thicker skin toward situations like this, if you get emotional and upset, it tends to engender bad feelings from others and that wont help any situation. Make like a duck and let it roll off your back.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I think you are overestimating your own importance in her world. She gets new students every half a semester from the sound of it. She may not enjoy her job, may not jive with every student she has, may not get a warm fuzzy vibe from you or she may have just made a mistake. But hate you? No.

You only have one week left with her from the sound of it. Keep your head down and play the game. Get through it.

[MissJulie]

Thanks for the replies...

It's not that I truly care if she likes me or not, just that she grades me based on my work and not any feelings she may, or may not, have toward me. Granted, she could have been having a bad day, etc., but today was our last day with her as an instructor. And, honestly, I've had a couple of bad weeks myself (medical issues w/ my mother, issues w/ my sister, etc.) and could have just been feeling a little bit voulnerable.

However, when you have the director of the program downing your every move, it's a little bit hard to not take it hard, you know? After all, the chain of command is her, the dean, and the president of the college...

But, again, thanks for the feedback :)

[elkpark]

My own experience, long ago, was that the instructors who were hardest on me were often the ones I ended up learning the most from. As others have noted, try not to take it personally and esp. don't get defensive in responding to her. Part of what you learn in nursing school is how to handle criticism from superiors and colleagues who don't necessarily fully understand the particular situation, and how to respond in a professional and assertive manner.

"This, too, will pass." Best wishes for your journey!

[llg, PhD, RN]

I agree with the other posters. You're taking her comments personally and assuming "she hates you" when that's probably not the case at all.

For her, the feedback she has given you has not been personal: it has been professional feedback on your performance as a student. Personal "love" and "hate" have nothing to do with it. You are just one of hundreds of students she will teach and evaluate over the course of her career. She is not investing a lot of personal emotion into the relationship. She may have misjudged your performance (e.g. about the sheets) -- but it wasn't personal for her and you should not interpret her feedback as a reflection of a personal relationship between the two of you.

She doesn't "hate" you. She just gave you some negative feedback about your performance. There is a big difference. Deal with any grading disagreements you have about her evaluation on a professional level -- not a personal one. Trying to make a personal relationship issue out of it only messes everything up for you.

[CBsMommy]

Miss Julie - It's hard not to take it personally, I know. My current CI and I don't jive in the personality part this semester either. I just fix a smile on my face, say, "Yes, Ma'am" and move on. I have tried talking to her about how we don't communicate very well and I've tried working with her professionally, all to no avail. For now, I am just going to stay out of her way, kill her with kindness and just keep my eye on the prize. Don't let one sour CI ruin your experience. Good luck!