Single Mom and Night Nurse??

rockabye · Mar 22, 2011

Just curious.... so why are you leaving your son's father and grandmother to move 4 hours away where you know nobody?

I knew a coworker who was single and also worked weekend nights. Her neighbor would watch her kids on the weekends in exchange for her watching her neighbor's kids during the week. It helped that the kids were friends and close in age.

BrookeeLou_RN · Mar 22, 2011

Yes, I too wonder what is in PA that would have you uproot your whole lifestyle and support system? And to go to a place where you know no one.. I have done that and loved it but did not need childcare. I know that locally and I live in a fairly small country place.. a daycare just opened for 24 hrs.. Now I imagine nights is more $$, just due to staff but kids are asleep. That could be an option or hiring someone locally to come to your place or your child to hers.. Looking on line gets you the pricey places.. you need to find out via perhaps schools, daycares etc where these people advertise or how to reach out.

But if possible when not stay in VA until your child is older and you have better plans> Best of luck

Skips, MSN, RN · Mar 22, 2011

I am not a nurse (yet), nor am I a single mother - but I must admit that I agree with the two above posters. Would it really be better for your son to be 4 hours away from his grandmother and father? I have the opinion that you should probably wait until he is older to move. It sounds like it would be inconvenient for both you and your son. I wouldn't do it.

dralbee · Mar 22, 2011

I know you are wanting the magic answer but there isn't one. After a divorce with a young child it is not the time to move away from your support system. Starting YOUR life over is one thing but uprooting a special needs child is another. Have patience and continue to do what has worked well for both of you. Your new life will come to you when you least expect it.

I wish you the best!

akaRNmle · Mar 22, 2011

I am moving because I have always loved to travel and I like change. I grew up a military brat and moved every year or so. I like packing it up and moving. I have lived in Va for the last 10 years but still continued to change cities every few years. My ex was aware of this before we got married and we always decided that we'd leave Virginia after I became a nurse. Our intention was to move to the west coast but then I decided on PA because it is still within a few hours drive of family. I am continuing with my plans, just leaving the husband behind. The Ex and my mom are very supportive of the move, they just want to make sure that I go visit a few times and research schools and such before the move. I am planning on moving next summer so I have a year to plan everything.

rockabye · Mar 22, 2011

I'm no psychologist, but are you really keeping your son's best interest in mind with this move? He has Asperger's and even though you enjoy moving and changing, it could have negative effects on him since I know children, especially one's with special needs, crave routine and stability. He already has family where you live and his weekly play groups. Moving away may cause him more trouble in his therapy and social interactions. So you are just planning to find complete strangers to take care of your son while you work because YOU wanted change?

BrookeeLou_RN · Mar 22, 2011

I am moving because I have always loved to travel and I like change. I grew up a military brat and moved every year or so. I like packing it up and moving. I have lived in Va for the last 10 years but still continued to change cities every few years. My ex was aware of this before we got married and we always decided that we'd leave Virginia after I became a nurse. Our intention was to move to the west coast but then I decided on PA because it is still within a few hours drive of family. I am continuing with my plans, just leaving the husband behind. The Ex and my mom are very supportive of the move, they just want to make sure that I go visit a few times and research schools and such before the move. I am planning on moving next summer so I have a year to plan everything.

You really should re-read what you just wrote above. Many "I" statements but what about your son? Since you showed enough concern about how to 'do' this...to post here..maybe waiting another few years would work out better for your son. Could you just move to a new home instead of a new state?

Do not get me wrong, I too love to move, parents always joked I moved "just to avoid spring house cleaning!" but I always made sure any move was good for all of us in the family..be it husband and kids or just me and kids.

So I am not judging you, just want to make sure you have a plan ahead of time

evolvingrn, BSN, RN · Mar 22, 2011

some schools have after hour child care on site. that may be and option? good luck and I wish you and your son the best.

someday1012 · Mar 22, 2011

While I do somewhat agree with some of the stuff stated in other posts..I also see where you are coming from. I live in Maryland and will be starting an LPN program in PA in July. What part of PA are you looking at?

I've heard stories where people do trade off babysitting. I know that there are some in-home setting daycares that do have non-traditional care. Maybe you could try contacting pennsylvania child care something or another that could direct you to some certified in home care's. You could call around and see if those people would do over nights.

merlee · Mar 22, 2011

Stay put. You will not likely find childcare like you have now. Take some decent vacations when you can.

Parents are supposed to put their kids' needs above their own wants.

That's just the way it is.

LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN · Mar 22, 2011

Single mom here, with 2 kids, my youngest has high functioning autism. I could not imagine moving away from my support system.

I live next door to my mom so she is readliy avaliable for babysitting, and I can work nights.

I would research schools and special needs services if you follow through with your move.

You said your son is 6, mine is 10 and these last few years have been hard as his peers have matured socially and he has not, brings a lot stress and meetings with the school.

You know that kids with ASD thrive with predicability and routine, which comes with having a strong support system.

I would urge you to re-think moving, move if it is must, but you stated you have a job you like with a good support system.