Meeting With the Manager

Have never been able to calm down prior to meeting the boss or talking to the boss on the phone. Just something to suffer through I guess.

I know other people have felt anxious about meeting with there boss but has anyone else felt so anxious that all they can think about are worst case scenarios?

Any advice on how to relax?

The answer is within your post, MJ48:

I just need to vent.

Do so with pen and paper. One member here on AN.com, and I wish I could remember who, said that a therapist has their clients suffering from symptoms of PTSD write their thoughts and feelings down on paper. It seems a different part of the brain is used when writing on paper versus typing on a keyboard. The act of writing is a better catharsis than typing, according to this therapist.

I wholeheartedly agree with that therapist. I have been called on the carpet many times in my career, terminated from two jobs, and even had job unrelated criminal charges and $50,000.00 civil suit brought against me.

I every situation, I had a little journal and pen with me. While waiting to deal with administrators or lawyers before a deposition, I would write down my thoughts and feelings. The process puts my thoughts and feelings in a tangible form, helps to get me centered, and I feel more relaxed.

Good luck and the very best to you, MJ48!

Davey Do said:

I every situation, I had a little journal and pen with me. While waiting to deal with administrators ... I would write down my thoughts and feelings. The process puts my thoughts and feelings in a tangible form, helps to get me centered, and I feel more relaxed.

Just for poops and giggles, I went through and found the journal where I made notes the last time

Davey Do said:

I was called to HR... after working three 12 hour MN shifts, to meet with the HR head and the department head

I copied a couple of edited pages from that journal:

This is an account from another thread of the situation:

Davey Do said:

A little over a year ago, I experienced several different situations where a doctor, security guards, an agency nurse, and a tech were involved in inappropriate actions involving patients. These included, respectively, possible medicare fraud, not following policy and procedure, patient neglect/abuse, and insubordination.

I objectively documented each specific situation, informing both the unit supervisor and department head. These ares of concern were documented with the appropriate administrative staff informed, but were never acknowledged nor addressed.

I was called to HR sometime later, after working three 12 hour MN shifts, to meet with the HR head and the department head to be written up for my inadvertent failure to complete a redundant, superfluous form.

I exploded internally but overtly acted appropriately bringing up the incidents where I believed a doctor was guilty of medicare fraud, security guards failed to follow policy and procedure during a chemical restraint, an agency nurse was guilty of neglect/abuse, and a tech had been insubordinate. I noted that these hideous acts were never addressed, but I was being written up for failure to complete a redundantly superfluous piece of paperwork!

I said that I felt harassed and the HR head interrupted and challenged my statement. I replied with, "Show me the same respect that I have shown you- do not interrupt me or challenge my feelings! If I 'feel' I'm being harassed, then I feel I'm being harassed!"

I informed the HR head that I wanted to file a grievance against the department head for harassment and the HR head apologized for her statement and immediately left to locate the necessary grievance forms.

While I sat there with the department head, I said to her, "I am sorry it had to come to this. I've known you for over 20 years and worked under you for 14 of those years". I brought up past acts of transgression and ended the one sided conversation with, "I am so disappointed in you!" The department head sat there, red faced and teary eyed.

Suffice it to say that the grievance was never followed through. I've informed appropriate outside entities of these areas of concern and have received in reply what I term as "Rama lama ding dong".

I have done my duty, objectively informing appropriate individuals and agencies of perceived areas of concern to little or no avail. I have not spoken to, or communicated with, the department head or head of HR in over a year.

Now I just have to let it go. But I won't forget it.

You may be able to read in my initial journal entry that I merely wrote down what I was thinking and feeling : "Denied EAP presence. waiting...anticipating...deep breathing" and then a quote from a co-worker/friend: "Look good for Hollywood..."

I then jotted down some points to bring up in the meeting.

I believe my notes and humorous sketch helped to to relax and prepare for a situation where I feel and believe I came out on top. Just being able to vent my thoughts and feelings to the department head in this tense situation was a real catharsis!