Should I lighten up?

Published

The other night at dinner I met a bunch of my partners friends who I've never met. I introduced myself and what I do and where I work and was immediately asked to tell some recent disgusting OR stories.

Now with my good friends (most of who are nurses that I trust) I'm happy to disgust them with some of the worst things I've seen over the years (without giving away any personal info, it's all general stuff) but to a complete stranger? I was really taken aback at the time and my response to him was that I didn't really want to discuss work. My partner still thinks I'm being rude even after explaining to him:

I didn't think it was professional to start talking about patients in this way. I'm not saying that nurses should carry on like angels etc but I don't like the idea of exploiting someone's illness as a source of humour. Tell me if I'm being boring here but would you want the OR nurse who cared for your mother whose colostomy bag exploded covering the OR staff with poo after the operation to have this used as a joke? I don't think so.

This is a small city and everyone seems to know one another. I already said I worked at X hospital in the OR. What if a friend or relative put two and two together? There could be repercussions. They could meet up with someone else and say 'I met this nurse called Scrubby who works at X hospital who said that the other day this patient with a coke bottle stuck up his bottom had to have it surgically removed'. This person may know the patient or worse could be connected with the nurses board or hospital administration. I could end up in court over this.

So do I need to loosen up? How do you respond if you're asked to disclose stuff like this to people you don't know? After reading so many nurses posts here on allnurses over the years about confidentiality and professional conduct I've become more aware of how important it is not to step over the line.

You were very correct in stating you did not want to discuss work and may have saved yourself a lot of trouble since you say you live in a small city.

I've said, "Oh, I don't want to ruin dinner/fun" and then when of course the reply is that I would not be ruining anything... I say, "It WOULD ruin it for me. I want to have fun and leave work at work!" This works for anything, usually.

This is for Ruby, I think I would have had to let this woman know, that again this was a television show I was talking about, and if she continues to slander my name further action would be taken.

Specializes in Peri-Op.

I think you did right. I guarantee that if you see those people in tour care in the future they will respect you a lot more. People think I'm a hard nose jerk but every employee and Dr here for their own surgery will request me. They know I wont speak anything of the case afterwards.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i've said, "oh, i don't want to ruin dinner/fun" and then when of course the reply is that i would not be ruining anything... i say, "it would ruin it for me. i want to have fun and leave work at work!" this works for anything, usually.

i'm going to try this one in the future. thanks.

This is for Ruby, I think I would have had to let this woman know, that again this was a television show I was talking about, and if she continues to slander my name further action would be taken.

I agree with this. When she slanders you at your workplace, she is interfering with your livelihood. Give her something to think about besides being a vindictive witch.

Specializes in PACU, OR.

Scrubby, I agree with you, better (and nicer!) not to go into gory details about your job to "outsiders," especially at dinner! I must admit though, my wicked sense of humor might very well have prompted me to order the Chicken a la King and start describing the interesting (fictional) pool of vomit I had to clean up....

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
scrubby, i agree with you, better (and nicer!) not to go into gory details about your job to "outsiders," especially at dinner! i must admit though, my wicked sense of humor might very well have prompted me to order the chicken a la king and start describing the interesting (fictional) pool of vomit i had to clean up....

or order a pizza and then describe the biggest, ugliest decub i've ever seen.

Specializes in ER, Trauma.

It would be so easy to try to be the life of the party and make a mistake that could hurt you for life. Keep up the good work.

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