Sexually harassed during clinicals by a male nurse

RotorRunner · Dec 6, 2018

And guys too. Nursing units are a very common place for sexual harassment towards us because it's so female dominated. Remember, it doesn't have to be limited to stories like the OP.
Also, making you solely responsible for the heavy lifting "because you're a man" involves tons of discrimination issues that can possibly be made into a sexual harassment case. To get the job, those girls have to be able to lift the same patients as you. They can do it too, they have to, there isn't always going to be a guy around. It's not solely your job because you're a man.
On a nursing unit, we're like the women at a construction site. Stand up for yourself, or you can get walked on very easily.

Thanks for mansplaining her sexual harassment story. You're also making a pretty ridiculous false equivalency by bringing up fellow nurses, I mean "girls", asking you for lifting assistance.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Dec 6, 2018

Also, making you solely responsible for the heavy lifting "because you're a man" involves tons of discrimination issues that can possibly be made into a sexual harassment case.

Unfair treatment based on gender is something that should be addressed, but simply asking the men to do more than their share of heavy lifting has nothing whatsoever to do with sexual harassment. How are you making that association??? Discrimination based on gender is not the same thing as sexual harassment.

BornFreee · Dec 9, 2018

Tony I think you should make a separate post about this issue instead of high jacking op's post.

allnurses Guide · Dec 9, 2018

Hi guys so i wanted to share with you guys this that i haven't even been able to share with my friends or family because im embarrassed to do so and i feel like maybe you guys as future nurses or nurses can hear me vent and maybe share your stories if something similar happened to you .
forgive me if my writing is not perfect ( English is my second language )
It happened a Saturday morning at 7:30 am after the teacher assign each of us to the nurses on the floor . The morning routine is to check vitals and give medications . I usually get assigned to a charge nurse or a older one because so this was the second time i worked with this male nurse ( married man in his 40 ,s ). We went to the room of an elderly patient ( 80 ) she was not mentally there and needed her medications , He started asking me if i was single , about family and stuff and told me about his family , the first thing he did was to touch my hair and say wow you have beautiful hair while i was trying to draw some medication from a syringe ( i felt uncomfortable but i was concentrated on what i was doing ) and just says thanks . After that we went to another patients rooms and he said oh i forgot to hang fluids for the lady we just saw ...after a while we went back to the room and told me to hang the bag ( he touched my hand and said you have smooth hands do you have them ? do you shave everything in you body ... but i didn't answer because i noticed that we were completely alone in the room and though to myself i can believe this is happening to me . One of the CNA walked in THANK GOD and he stopped and we went outside he started asking me medication questions until i got one wrong and he said when you get one wrong you owe me something ...at this point i excused myself to the bathroom in panic and called the teacher and the students . My teacher acted right away while my classmates for some reason found the situation funny .. a report was made and the Male nurse got fired . sorry for the long story but i just wanted to let all the girls here to speak up because i believe im not the only one .

I'm so sorry this happened to you, mariawong86. You did the right thing to report it, and to come here and vent.

I don't understand why your fellow students needed to be informed about your experience along with your teacher, but if their current dismissive attitude becomes a pattern or interferes with your ability to concentrate on your studies or clinical performance report that, too.

Wishing you the best.

TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN · Dec 9, 2018

Tony I think you should make a separate post about this issue instead of high jacking op's post.

It's not hijacking her post. Seriously, read the last sentence of her post. She didn't come here looking for sympathy. She used her story to make a point: SPEAK UP

Wow, must have been hard to make it through life being so insensitive to issues of others. By making a statement about how males also get sexually harrasses, you are minimizing the OPs experience. Now, please, go make a thread about male sexual harassment and I will support you 100%. But this is not the place.

Please do not become a nurse until you change your attitude. What are you going to do if you're in a workshop on sexual harassment and a girl tells her story, and then a guy says "I was sexually harassed too?" You gonna tell him to sit down and stop minimizing her story and if he wants to talk, organize a workshop for men?

Seriously, you're going to show a sexual bias in a thread about sexual harassment?

angel0309, ADN, RN · Dec 9, 2018

It's not hijacking her post. Seriously, read the last sentence of her post. She didn't come here looking for sympathy. She used her story to make a point: SPEAK UP
Please do not become a nurse until you change your attitude. What are you going to do if you're in a workshop on sexual harassment and a girl tells her story, and then a guy says "I was sexually harassed too?" You gonna tell him to sit down and stop minimizing her story and if he wants to talk, organize a workshop for men?
Seriously, you're going to show a sexual bias in a thread about sexual harassment?

Seriously you're gonna try to say that I can't be a nurse because of my "attitude?" Are you gonna go to a seminar on female empowerment and stand up and say that men need to be empowered too? And you read her post, she's asking for girls to tell their stories. You are being problematic. This happens constantly. A woman has the courage to stand up and say something about her sexual assault/harassment and a man has to stand up and make it about men. THAT is the problem. It's like women can't tell our stories about any type of abuse or harrassment without it being pointed out that it happens to men too.

Yes. We understand that it happens to men to. And I am fully supportive of men sharing their stories and changing the narrative around male sexual assault, harrasment, and domestic violence. However, when you're doing these things in response to a woman sharing her story, it is minimizing her issue. If you really wanted to do something about male sexual harassment in the workplace, by all means, go ahead and I'll support you. But don't minimize women who go through the same thing in the process.

Ps: unfair treatment on the basis of gender is NOT the same thing as sexual harassment. It's honestly upsetting that you even made that comparison. Being asked to do extra heavy lifting because you're a male is NOT the same as having your ass smacked, boobs grabbed, or having sexually suggestive comments made. NOT. AT. ALL.

TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN · Dec 10, 2018

, when you're doing these things in response to a woman sharing her story, it is minimizing her issue. If you really wanted to do something about male sexual harassment in the workplace, by all means, go ahead and I'll support you. But don't minimize women who go through the same thing in the process.

The point of her thread was speak up about sexual harassment. I'm not minimizing her issue because the thread is not about her issue. Her issue is an example. She's not looking for our sympathy about her experience. This is a thread about speaking up about sexual harassment and nothing more.

I'm not minimizing women.

angel0309, ADN, RN · Dec 10, 2018

The point of her thread was speak up about sexual harassment. I'm not minimizing her issue because the thread is not about her issue. Her issue is an example. She's not looking for our sympathy about her experience. This is a thread about speaking up about sexual harassment and nothing more.
I'm not minimizing women.

How does it feel to know that your comment was so immature that it had to be edited by the mods?

TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN · Dec 10, 2018

How does it feel to know that your comment was so immature that it had to be edited by the mods?

Go away and grow up. All I did was point out how you're acting, derailing the entire thread because you're mad that a man told men to also follow the advice given as the entire point to this thread. It's ironic that in a thread about sexual harassment, that you're trying to silence the man because you just don't want our problems here, this is a women's only speak up about sexual harassment thread, no men allowed.

Once again, READ THE ORIGINAL POST. She is NOT looking for sympathy, her story was an example. The entire point of this thread is about speaking up against being sexually harassed, which is evident by her exact quote at the end of the post saying to speak up if you're sexually harassed.. I'm sorry that I'm not victimizing the OP. You notice that its YOU who has a problem with what I said, not her, right? Notice how she's not the one that has a problem with what I said? She's actually very silent.

Stop accusing me of minimizing her experience, because I'm not. But fine, just like the point of my post, I'll go away, because you're being an exact example of what I was talking about. You won't have to see me in these forums anymore, because as a man, I'm clearly not welcome here to you.

keshawn007 · Dec 10, 2018

Unfortunately, even ,male nurses may become victim of sexual harrassement!!!

I have been harassed by a peer(female), who kept on making lewd comments around me...

I did not file a grievance, but I could not believe it.... After that woman figured out that I was not into her, she became passsive aggressive.

Even though I was the supervisior in that case it felt weird and creepy!!!

TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN · Dec 11, 2018

Unfortunately, even ,male nurses may become victim of sexual harrassement!!!
I have been harassed by a peer(female), who kept on making lewd comments around me...
I did not file a grievance, but I could not believe it.... After that woman figured out that I was not into her, she became passsive aggressive.
Even though I was the supervisior in that case it felt weird and creepy!!!

It's hard. And when we step up and say anything, there's already a constant bias against us in this industry. This thread, is proof of that. Fortunately, most people in healthcare respect male nurses as nurses. But the bullying, the harassment, it's a constant uphill battle for tons of us, especially if we're we aren't exactly what most women call hot.

I'd check out the male nurse/student forums and get an idea of how much negativity there is towards male nurses, students, and aides, and how many situations these people are left walking on eggshells just to do their job. Your story is unfortunately way too common

allnurses Guide · Dec 11, 2018

Unfortunately, even ,male nurses may become victim of sexual harrassement!!!
I have been harassed by a peer(female), who kept on making lewd comments around me...
I did not file a grievance, but I could not believe it.... After that woman figured out that I was not into her, she became passsive aggressive.
Even though I was the supervisior in that case it felt weird and creepy!!!

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry you didn't report it, and if your fear of not being believed simply because you're male was a major factor in that decision I'm just generally sorry that type of injustice occurs at all.