Hi guys so i wanted to share with you guys this that i haven't even been able to share with my friends or family because im embarrassed to do so and i feel like maybe you guys as future nurses or nurses can hear me vent and maybe share your stories if something similar happened to you .
forgive me if my writing is not perfect ( English is my second language )
It happened a Saturday morning at 7:30 am after the teacher assign each of us to the nurses on the floor . The morning routine is to check vitals and give medications . I usually get assigned to a charge nurse or a older one because so this was the second time i worked with this male nurse ( married man in his 40 ,s ). We went to the room of an elderly patient ( 80 ) she was not mentally there and needed her medications , He started asking me if i was single , about family and stuff and told me about his family , the first thing he did was to touch my hair and say wow you have beautiful hair while i was trying to draw some medication from a syringe ( i felt uncomfortable but i was concentrated on what i was doing ) and just says thanks . After that we went to another patients rooms and he said oh i forgot to hang fluids for the lady we just saw ...after a while we went back to the room and told me to hang the bag ( he touched my hand and said you have smooth hands do you have them ? do you shave everything in you body ... but i didn't answer because i noticed that we were completely alone in the room and though to myself i can believe this is happening to me . One of the CNA walked in THANK GOD and he stopped and we went outside he started asking me medication questions until i got one wrong and he said when you get one wrong you owe me something ...at this point i excused myself to the bathroom in panic and called the teacher and the students . My teacher acted right away while my classmates for some reason found the situation funny .. a report was made and the Male nurse got fired . sorry for the long story but i just wanted to let all the girls here to speak up because i believe im not the only one .
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
But fine, just like the point of my post, I'll go away, because you're being an exact example of what I was talking about. You won't have to see me in these forums anymore, because as a man, I'm clearly not welcome here to you.
We're in no way saying you aren't welcome here. I think perhaps the disconnect happened as a result of different interpretations of mariawong's post. Here's what I noticed.
i feel like maybe you guys as future nurses or nurses can hear me vent and maybe share your stories if something similar happened to you
She then proceeded to share the detailed story. Because the very action of telling the story is thought to be therapeutic as one attempts to process the traumatic experience.
sorry for the long story but i just wanted to let all the girls here to speak up because i believe im not the only one
Even though her sentence referred to "girls", I doubt if she or anyone else would answer "no" if you had asked "I'm not a girl but can I share my story, too?"
The problem may be that your posts were directed toward the topic of harassment of men in nursing in a general sense. I would agree that is an area that should be further investigated. I'm female, but I know full well having a history populated overwhelmingly by women leads to some amount of unconscious bias.
I don't believe most of us do this intentionally. That is why I think an article or a thread as suggested by others is an excellent idea.
We're in no way saying you aren't welcome here. I think perhaps the disconnect happened as a result of different interpretations of mariawong's post. Here's what I noticed.
She then proceeded to share the detailed story. Because the very action of telling the story is thought to be therapeutic as one attempts to process the traumatic experience.
Even though her sentence referred to "girls", I doubt if she or anyone else would answer "no" if you had asked "I'm not a girl but can I share my story, too?"
The problem may be that your posts were directed toward the topic of harassment of men in nursing in a general sense. I would agree that is an area that should be further investigated. I'm female, but I know full well having a history populated overwhelmingly by women leads to some amount of unconscious bias.
I don't believe most of us do this intentionally. That is why I think an article or a thread as suggested by others is an excellent idea.
YES!! Exactly this!! Sharing personal stories, male or female is NOT problematic. If anyone would like to share their stories, I think that's great if it helps them or for whatever reason anyone may want to share. However, the problem lies in the general sense-like the way that Tony came across-when a woman speaks up about sexual harassment, it is inappropriate to just blurt out "oh but it happens to men too!" Just as it would be if a man made a post like this and a woman came and said "oh but it happens to women too." It would be different if the response was "I hear you and here is my story. I understand what you're going through."
I know that anything that I say is now going to fall on deaf ears with Tony, but this was very well said, nursel56.
YES!! Exactly this!! Sharing personal stories, male or female is NOT problematic. If anyone would like to share their stories, I think that's great if it helps them or for whatever reason anyone may want to share. However, the problem lies in the general sense-like the way that Tony came across-when a woman speaks up about sexual harassment, it is inappropriate to just blurt out "oh but it happens to men too!" Just as it would be if a man made a post like this and a woman came and said "oh but it happens to women too." It would be different if the response was "I hear you and here is my story. I understand what you're going through."
I know that anything that I say is now going to fall on deaf ears with Tony, but this was very well said, nursel56.
She said to speak up, all I did was tell men to do it too, and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a womn inappropriately trying to have sex with you. The ONLY inappropriate response was your response attacking me. You're putting a sexual bias in a thread about sexual harassment, seriously?
Sorry I told men to speak up. From now on, I'll make sure that if I'm ever sexually harassed, to just keep it to myself and never report it.
And your post that was clearly made to instigate after my post was edited, says a lot.
YES!! Exactly this!! Sharing personal stories, male or female is NOT problematic. If anyone would like to share their stories, I think that's great if it helps them or for whatever reason anyone may want to share. However, the problem lies in the general sense-like the way that Tony came across-when a woman speaks up about sexual harassment, it is inappropriate to just blurt out "oh but it happens to men too!" Just as it would be if a man made a post like this and a woman came and said "oh but it happens to women too." It would be different if the response was "I hear you and here is my story. I understand what you're going through."
I know that anything that I say is now going to fall on deaf ears with Tony, but this was very well said, nursel56.
Tony didn't say, "Oh, but it happens to men, too".
I don't think he intended to hijack the thread or put women down.
He was relating to OP.
She asked for people to share.
She didn't say that only females could share.
I think the purpose of OP sharing was more therapeutic for herself than her getting up on the bandwagon and stumping for women to report sexual harassment.
And if she finds or found comfort or sustenance by sharing, I am happy that she did share.
She said to speak up, all I did was tell men to do it too, and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a womn inappropriately trying to have sex with you. The ONLY inappropriate response was your response attacking me. You're putting a sexual bias in a thread about sexual harassment, seriously?
Sorry I told men to speak up. From now on, I'll make sure that if I'm ever sexually harassed, to just keep it to myself and never report it.
And your post that was clearly made to instigate after my post was edited, says a lot.
Don't let any of it get to you, Man.
People here are forever biting other peoples' heads off.
The trouble is that it is not possible to know how every individual here is going to perceive what you post.
The poster's body language, tone of voice, facial expression, etc. are not known to any reader, so each reader is going to react differently.
Some are going to be offended by one thing, others by something else, some won't be offended at all.
Each person's background experiences and opinions are certainly going to influence how posters are perceived.
Stick around.
You have as much reason and right to be here as everyone else.
For OP - I hope you will come back soon.
I think you handled the situation wonderfully.
I hope the rest of your school and work life are smooth.
And I hope you are finding the responses helpful.
Whether you were writing to help find release and relief for what you experienced or you were calling women to stand up for themselves, I am glad you started the thread.
Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to do the same. I mean, that is the point of a forum, eh? I'm sorry it turned into a catty pile-on, but your post is helpful and may be what someone needs to read in the future. Providing that they don't get caught up in the muck.
nursel56
7,122 Posts
We're in no way saying you aren't welcome here. I think perhaps the disconnect happened as a result of different interpretations of mariawong's post. Here's what I noticed.
She then proceeded to share the detailed story. Because the very action of telling the story is thought to be therapeutic as one attempts to process the traumatic experience.
Even though her sentence referred to "girls", I doubt if she or anyone else would answer "no" if you had asked "I'm not a girl but can I share my story, too?"
The problem may be that your posts were directed toward the topic of harassment of men in nursing in a general sense. I would agree that is an area that should be further investigated. I'm female, but I know full well having a history populated overwhelmingly by women leads to some amount of unconscious bias.
I don't believe most of us do this intentionally. That is why I think an article or a thread as suggested by others is an excellent idea.