sexual jokes in the workplace

[penguin2]

I'm all for having a few good laughs at work, but I'd like an opinion on this. We have a new male RN and he frequently makes comments that can be taken sexually. He has been there less than a month, so we don't even know him yet, and last Saturday he commented to one of our new grads who was about 15 min. late to work (car trouble), "Well I guess your husband detained you in the bedroom this morning, huh?" she laughed it off & seemed unoffended by it, but a couple of us found it inappropriate. Our charge nurse told us that unless the person he directed his comment to found it inappropriate that we should ignore it. ???? No matter how I look at this, it seems unprofessional to me!! comments??

[casi, ASN, RN]

This could have easily been an innocent well meaning comment. People make these types of comments all the time among friends, and sometimes it's very hard for people to decipher the difference between co-workers and friends. When you work in a smaller high stress environment there's a close relationship or central bond with co-workers.

Someone needs to take him aside and give him a friendly heads up that those kind of comments aren't work appropriate.

[LydiaNN]

This came up recently in another thread, in which a doctor had made a blatantly inappropriate remark. It stunned me how many people thought that was okay. If nothing else, people who do this are begging for trouble because it is going to cause them nothing but grief when someone- anyone who can hear it, whether it is addressed to them or not- gets tired of it and reports it to HR. Put in the simplest possible terms, you're not allowed to do this at work and if you have a grain of sense, you save your off-color remarks, no matter how amusing you and your friends may find them, for forums in which they are not legally forbidden. (Of course, I use the term "you" in the collective sense; I'm not suggesting that the OP or another poster here has done this).

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Does anyone truly think this is appropriate to say in the presence of professionals at work? I would give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him I heard it and think it is not appropriate.

I agree with you spacenurse. Not professional. Not appropriate.

And no, I'm not an old prude.

We've had this sort of thing happen with one female nurse in particular - very vulgar.

steph

[kalbo3]

I think it is unappropriate in the work place. We are all supposed to be professionals and work is not the time or place to be talking like that. Just my opinion.

[danh3190]

As mentioned above, even if nobody were offended by the comment it would still be troublesome. What if somebody were later terminated for some other reason and decided they wanted to cause trouble. They could claim that the employer maintained a hostile work environment by not preventing such behavior. I think the charge nurse needs to be remediated on sexual harassment law. Since the incident showed up on this bulletin board, I suspect somebody was at least a little bothered by the incident.

[crissrn27, RN]

I don't think this was appropriate either, but I think I am pretty sensitive. I work with all females and most of them have said things like this (and worse) and no one bats an eye. Would you have been comfortable if the nurse saying these things was female? If not someone should really say something. Just don't let gender be the big factor. The things that the nurse said should be the biggest factor, KWIM?

[allantiques4me]

I think giving him a silent stare with one eyebrow up and no smile will get the message acrossed.

I can hack some of that, but if it was repeated over and over again ad nauseum, I'd spell it out for him that these days he is ASKING for litigation.

I agree with you.

[clee1]

Technically it's also harassment if the surrounding listeners are offended, not just the target. If you don't want to take it that far, what Buddiage said is good. The best reaction would be no reaction.

ONLY if he has been told to stop it. It isn't harassment unless it is unwanted and requests to stop it are ignored.

At night on my unit, the conversations can get pretty raw; but nobody has complained yet.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

ONLY if he has been told to stop it. It isn't harassment unless it is unwanted and requests to stop it are ignored.

At night on my unit, the conversations can get pretty raw; but nobody has complained yet.

Speaking just for myself . . . that might be because no one likes confrontation.

I sat through some very graphic and ugly conversations when I first started working. I feel ashamed actually that I didn't say anything.

steph

[clee1]

Could be.... but, most of us on the night shift are young and we tend to be quite boisterous.

I cannot imagine any of my coworkers NOT speaking their mind if they were in any way offended.

[DEB52]

Letting it be is the reason people have been able to get away with this all these years. There are policies on this and this is considered sexual harrassment and inappropiate behavior in the workplace. This situation needs to be dealt with. Why should women put up with this just because he's a fellow nurse?:flamesonb

[RNfaster]

First Year, it does not matter if the comment was directed at the OP or not. If something is said in an open setting and is offensive to any of the listeners, whether the comment is to one person or all of them, it is considered harassment. "I wasn't talking to you" doesn't work. I'm not saying I agree with this, but that's the way the law reads.

Tazzi is right. I am amazed at the lack of professionalism displayed more often than I would expect in the hospital workplace. --But I come from an office-work background where we received training in harassment, diversity, ethics, and getting along with others, etc. --I am new to hospital work as I am in the midst of career changing. I am guessing that some of what I consider basic training is lacking in the hospital environ due to regular churn and lack of time to spend on it.

Even if folks aren't offended, it is not a wise topic of conversation. --It's actually rather juvenile. And while the offender and his (or even her) audience may not be offended, there may come a time when someone within earshot is, e.g., a patient, another coworker, brass, etc. Some conversations do not belong in the workplace. ---Conversations of a boisterous sexual nature should be private --amongst friends in a private -not working - environ. To do otherwise is to reduce your professionalism....as though you don't know better and have nothing better to talk about...as though you are rather ignorant....not someone I'd want working on me as a medical professional or someone I'd be proud to have on my team...to be one of my peers. ---By the way, I might make some crude remarks, but you'd better believe they won't be in a professional environment.