Sexual Harrassment?

[burn out]

The other day I was taking care of a male patient that absolutely made me

sick to my stomach. Everytime I walked into his room he would whip out his member and just leave himself exposed. At first I threw the sheet over it but he would pull the sheet off. The next time I went in the room he was fondling it and when I left the room it was almost doing jumping jacks. How do you handle a patient like this. I told his physiciain he needed a psych eval. because what if he does this kind of thing to little children..the doc said we would just be wasting tax payers dollars and I should just confront him and tell him this kind of action is not tolerable. I am rather on the timid side and have a difficult time with confrontations. Is there any other suggestions?

[rn/writer, RN]

I'm sorry you're going through such an uncomfortable experience, but it may be a blessing in disguise. You now know that you are vulnerable in this area, and this is an invitation to you to do whatever it takes to get your thinking straight.

Some thoughts to consider:

Why is it okay for this man to engage in criminal (lewd and lascivious) behavior in front of you just because he's in a hospital gown? Anything less than an immediate and serious reaction communicates that, because his behavior makes you uncomfortable, you'll tolerate it. And that kind of message actually worsens the situation because your discomfort adds to his pleasure.

Think about how you would feel if a patient were doing such things to a fragile co-worker or a student. Would that be all right? If not, please borrow the indignation you would feel for someone else and apply it to yourself. You matter.

Taking a male staff member into the room with you says that you only have to be respected when someone else is around, that you're fair game when you're alone. I don't think that's what you intend to tell him, but that's the message nevertheless.

If a modest background is keeping you from taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, get some counseling, talk with friends, heck--talk to yourself (in your car where no one can surprise you), until you can get past the personal embarrassment that is tying you in knots right now.

That's what I meant about this possibly being a blessing in disguise. If you can tame your squeamishness and mortification with this guy, you'll be a stronger, better, more dynamic nurse over all. AND you might find that you feel less vulnerable in your personal life as well.

Time to walk in the room and say, "Keep the mouse in the house or you'll end up speaking with one of our security guards. Hope you make the right choice."

Be brave. And let us know what happens.

[Charity, RN, APRN]

Why do we keep comparing hospitals to Walmart or the post office? We do have to do things differently. The patient room is THEIR room. They are paying for it (in theory). We are visitors to that room doing a job. That is why we can close the door and give them their privacy to be with their "little friend" if need be. (We'd still call the cops for the same action in a Walmart bathroom!).

However, as visitors and professionals there to help them we must be treated with respect. We don't have to tolerate such behavior. As a student nurse, I had a patient (broken back, skeletal traction) who began asking me for oral sex. Would also present me with urinals containing...more than urine. Had a discussion with group and teacher. Next time he starts groping during a vs check and I simply call him on it. "I am here to help you and you have no right to treat me this way", etc. He got so meek and apologetic.

Confrontation must be done first. Then a warning that if he won't let us treat him (by this behavior), we don't have to treat him. Document, document, document.

BTW- sexual harrassment has nothing to do with gender. For all we know this dude has been exposing himself to men as well. One of our "repeaters" has taken a liking to our charge nurse and makes all sorts of "suggestions" every time she sees her. I had a female doc who made me VERY uncomfortable with her remarks and questionable contact.

[rn/writer, RN]

Why do we keep comparing hospitals to Walmart or the post office? We do have to do things differently. The patient room is THEIR room. They are paying for it (in theory). We are visitors to that room doing a job. That is why we can close the door and give them their privacy to be with their "little friend" if need be. (We'd still call the cops for the same action in a Walmart bathroom!).

A hospital room is not the same as a hotel room or a studio apartment. Each of these can be locked, a fact which creates and implies an expectation of privacy. Show me a hospital room where a patient can expect to be left alone and I'll show you the morgue.

Besides, the issue isn't privacy, but aggression. Men who expose themselves take great delight in upsetting their victims. It's an extremely negative power play and needs to be stopped cold. Whether it takes place in a hospital room or a post office or the perpetrator's own home, it is wrong and no amount of "respecting his space" changes that.

It's fine to draw the line by saying something like, "I see you're not ready for me to be in here. I'll come back later." That's really a warning shot letting the patient know his actions are unwelcome and unacceptable. If the behavior persists, barring mitigating circumstances such as dementia, it should be treated as the aggressive/harrassing act that it is.

Being ill in a hospital bed does not give anyone carte blanche to attack or harrass others.

BTW, the only part of your post that I disagree with is the part about the patient's room being his personal space. It is, but only to a very small degree that doesn't give him permission to perform lewd acts.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Why do we keep comparing hospitals to Walmart or the post office? We do have to do things differently.

Ask the geniuses in management, who push for the 'customer service' trend.

[burn out]

Just an update. Last night this patient signed out AMA because he wanted to get something to drink. Hisphysician (the one that I spoke with about him exposing himself) told him to never come back to this hospital , the patient told him he would come back if he wanted to and the physcian told him if he did that he would have him arrested for what he had done.

I know alot of you think this is a cop out for me and hopefully if this ever happens again I will be able to "nip it in the bud" as Barney Fife says. Thanks again for all the suggestion /supportI feel just a little stronger.

[ahsitters]

Agree - don't take crap. If it were me ... if a loud "KNOCK IT OFF" didn't work, the next time I went into the room I'd be accompanied by P, my favorite security guy, who is one of the largest human beings I've ever seen in person. Perhaps he'd be less interested in showing off his anatomy to P.

:yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat: Every hospital Needs a P to deal with nakedly inclined patients. Sure wish we had one!!!!

[StrEssEdX2]

Thump it....just kidding!! I would not go in his room alone, always take a witness with you preferably a male and document...document....document!

[Jo Dirt]

My nursing instructor in LPN school says she actually had a man reach up and force her to lay down over his erect member. She said she pulled out her pencil and gave his member a good whack and he cried out and doubled over in pain...she told us while we may not instigate a struggle we have every right to protect ourselves.

[subtle]

"nip it in the bud" as Barney Fife says.

hahahaha! Now you're coming around! i'm glad this worked out in a way that was more comfortable for you. Although i will hope there won't BE a next time for you, at least when/if there is, you'll feel better prepared to handle it from the get go.

[harley007]

When I was a new RN graduate I had a young male for a patient. I entered the room just as he exposed himself "at full attention" Quite proud he appeared to be of his personal little toy. I asked what problem existed that caused the dramatic display. He told me the area needed to be examined -very closely. I told him I would return immediately with the needed equipment. Well now, he then appeared to be all kinds of happy. Until I mentioned that I would be returning with a magnifying glass and a much needed pair of tweezers. Fortunately this seemed to deflate the issue immediately! I then had a serious conversation with him about respect for women and how would he feel if somebody had exposed them-self to his sister. I think he was just a young nervous kid facing abdominal surgery in the morning trying to be the tough cool guy. Never hear a word from anyone else that he was a problem at all ........ or maybe it was my choice of examining equipment?

[Critical LPN]

Unfortunately, this happens to the healthcare workers all too much and many of the same people will say you are lying if you document it(much as was stated we are sooooo politically correct these days). Also many times some of the physicians either won't address the problem or actually increase the problem by making sound like it is "just one of those women crying harrassment again". Sad to say I overheard this being told to one of the worse offenders I had to deal with over the years.

Just learning to read the patient helps. If he is an all out flirt and thinks he is ____of the walk, and see he has many women who visit him and also rather giggle and tease around, you will realize he is use to having his way and knows most security threats etc, are just that, threats. He also knows if he has any real reason for being in the hospital, you can't throw him out.

Also the worse part is many of the acrediting organizations of the hospital, nursing fascilities will not allow the patient room doors to be shut for saftey reasons.

Best thing I found is if they do not already have one, either suggesting they must be experiencing a lot of pressure(in my most professional voice) and threatening to IN/OUT cath them as many places have routine orders for suspected extended bladder problems. I do try the usual discussion of if their family/children or friends walked down the hall, would they care for this behavior? Also there was the time that three of us nurses and a cna were close (but not obviously) to the "weiner wrangler's" room. We had started talking about a (ficticious) news story about a child molester/rapist who was constanly " showing his wares " before abducting his victims. We were all agreeing that this was the most awful crime we thought could happen as even murdered vicitims were at least free of the nightmares and horrors that sexual abused kids/spouses and women go through. We went on to (quietly but still in pt. hearing range) discuss that these perpetraitors deserved whatever they got and once in jail, many of the inmates took "care" of these type or made them "their wives".

Funny, that patient turned out to be one of the most cordial ,polite and non-demanding patients for the rest of his stay. No one was made to have to deal with him.

Good Luck in the future as the laws become more and more towards coddling the criminals and being so PC that a deceit, hardworking and professional person has no chance at justice and we all will be having to suck it up and put up with this and worse behavior.

Did have one great doc one time that took the matter into his own hands(litterly), he asked for and donned gloves, then quietly wrapped his hand firmly around the scrotum and stated "If you so much as bother, fight or hurt one of these girls-----You'll be a unich(?sp). We all stood there, dumbfounded and ready to bust a gut. Instead we proceeded to get him intubated, medicated and to take care of him as the professionals we were because if he did not have the sense to realize we were trying to help him , then pershaps his family would , and they were. His wife said he acts out when he is not in control, ? What does he do in front of his kids when they are being out of control?

[weirdRN, RN]

How about an ample of ammonia? Wouldn't that cause a loss of erection and then you could get your point across?

Seriously, I'm sorry you had to deal wth that pervert.