Sexism against men

ItsyBitsySpider, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2004

Yikes Patrick, first I want to say I'm sorry this is happening. I could feel your frustration and anger in your writing. I'm not sure how your school works but have you ever talked to your instructors about this? I think it's outrageous and I also agree with you that if this were women they were talking about someone's a** would be in big trouble. If the instructor doesn't care to listen then I say go for talking to the dean. If they don't know there is a problem then how can they fix it. The instructors may have been lecturing this way for years and although it is not right, if no one tells them they are offended then they will never stop. It sucks that it is happening in the first place really, my school is so gender unbiased that the men in our class say they rarely feel isolated or uncomfortable. Speak up for yourself! Good luck.

CCU NRS · Mar 8, 2004

The more they know it bothers you the more they enjoy it. The BEST POLICY is to just laugh it off and act as if you are laughing with them. I personaly would even go as far as to affect a feminine voice and make some cracks of my own, (I am sort of Ornery)then just yuck it up like there was never anything so funny in all my days, then Just instantly stop and look at them and say deadpan you are all so mature! Walk away and never look back! They will at the very least think you were offended or at the worst feel insulted like you put it too them, Win Win

Ruylupez · Mar 8, 2004

If your going to the dean you should have a record of what has been happening. Write down the exact quotes, who said it, time, date, and who else was there. Just think of it as documenting your case the same as you would document patient care.

Once you have enough to make your case take it to the dean and complain, even if it doesn't help you it might help the men who come after you.

That is not the way it is in all programs, At my CC I am one of 6 men in a class of about 43 and, at least so far, everyone in the school seems to treat all of the students with respect.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2004

CCU NRS makes a good point. Seems to be out lot in nursing sometimes. I was one of two males out of 60 students in my class and heard things like that occasionally, though not as often as you do.

You could make the point when they make those kinds of comments to in turn make a derogatory comment about females to make the point that you don't appreciate it. Nip it in the bud each time it happens, gently tell them not to do it and perhaps eventually it will stop. Just don't loose your serenity or any sleep over it.

I remember commenting one time about how tired I was. Several people chimed in "At least your a man and not a mother....blah blah blah blah....." Boy did I let them have it. Never did anyone make that kind of comment again. LOL

fergus51 · Mar 8, 2004

I'm a woman and I hate that "I'm a mother" thing (usually uttered when trying to get out of working holidays, weekends or summers and when trying to slack off at work). It wasn't like I had sex and they got pregnant!!!!

Sorry to highjack.... Epg, why not just sit down and talk to the dean in a non-confrontational manner? Schools are legally responsible to provide a harassment free environment according to Ontario's human rights code (same as employers).

U_South_Al_RN2B · Mar 8, 2004

alright my brotha.....this is what I would do if I was really pissed and thought the teacher would not listen to reason. First, find out if your instructor objects to you recording the lecture. If she does not mind, get her to put it in writting that she does not mind. If she asks why, tell her your Dad, mother, or sister got shafted by their advisor for something they said and then went back and said they never said it. That way you have evidence that xyz was said in class and you recorded it with the teachers permission. Second, sit back and wait for the male bashing to begin. Third, after you have it on tape, make an appointment to talk with the teacher. Don't tell her about the recording (thats you ace in the hole). Then calmy explaine how the male bashing offends you. Then shut your mouth and let her talk. If teh bashing stops, let it slide, but hold onto the tape. If it continues, go to the dept. head. always go to the person above the person you are complaining about. Then work your way up the ladder. Never give anyone the tape. I know it sounds harsh and sneaky, but you gotta take care of yourself.

epg_pei · Mar 8, 2004

fergus I think you have the best solution. I've tried some of the other methods mentioned, but they don't seem to work. You sure as hell can't turn it around and make statements about women. Especially voicing your disapproval for the type of comments made. One individual who makes these comments is a mature student who was abused by a former husband/boyfriend/whatever. Everytime I ever tried to reason with her she dragged out the old "I'm a victim so I have every right routine" and cuts off further discussion. Just a bitter old you-know-what who has to take every opportunity to get back at men.

unikuelady, RN · Mar 9, 2004

In my first semester of Nursing school, there was a very wise instructor who nipped it in the bud immediately when it came to any type of "teasing" of the male students from us gals. We had 3 men in our class of 60 students...all of them over age 30. One day we were in our hands-on lab class learning how to bandage different parts of the body. One of the male students was picked to be the "victim" and have his head bandaged. Almost in unison...several of the gals asked.."which head" and began laughing. Our wise instructor immediately spoke up and informed everyone that this was a sexist remark and that it will not be tolerated. We were shamed. The entire class was given the assignment to write a paper on what respect and professionalism is. From that point on, I didn't hear any jokes or unkind remarks made against men. I have felt that this was one of the most valuable lessons taught during nursing school. All of the men graduated and passed the NCLEX. I would be proud to work with any of them.

Whatever you decide to do...don't give up nursing.

fergus51 · Mar 9, 2004

I know what you mean epg. Your dean should know that the human rights code overrides ALL other laws in the province. Our hospital put us all through a training session on it and believe me, there are a lot of no-gos as far as what you can and can not say, even when joking around. I wish I knew some of this when I was a student. I sat through all the woman bashing I could take (you know, we're catty, manipulative, the problem in nursing, need men to save things, just trying to get a doctor husband, bad leaders, no assertiveness....). I would strongly suggest you keep things as non-confrontational as possible at first. Sometimes all that is needed is a gentle reminder. As my dog would say (if he could talk), never bite if a little growl will do.

allnurses Guide · Mar 9, 2004

Fergus, I think that is good advice. Sometimes people just don't know how they sound.

Unfortunately there are people with agendas and come hell or high water they are going to make sure you know how they feel. I think that is ultimately sad for them.

Good luck epg.

steph

rnmi2004 · Mar 9, 2004

Your school's attitude towards men is going to get them slapped with a lawsuit unless they implement some serious policy changes pronto. Men are minorities in the field of nursing. Making derogatory comments about male SNs is along the same lines of making fun of people based on their race.

I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with that kind of talk. Nursing school is tough enough without being singled out based on your gender. You shouldn't feel like you just have to take it. If you put the effort into going up the chain of command at your school, you'll feel better for it & all the other male students will feel better.