Seriously? I don't think I want to do this anymore.

Published

So yet again I made yet another mistake -- this time? Gave Zofran every 4 hours instead of the ordered every 6 hours for 3 different doses. How in the WORLD did I do that?? Right dose, time, pt, etc... So simple yet so important and vital. Sick of crying over mistakes. Seriously thinking I should do something different for a living. People say that it gets easier but does everyone honestly have a bunch of mistakes like this? I am feeling like the biggest LOSER in the world. I feel so stupid and ignorant, and I am honestly getting to the point of hating myself. Granted, I haven't killed anyone, but I have made some mistakes that could have been worse. Easily. I feel like quitting right on the spot. I miss my easy simple jobs, make my money and go home. Never think about it again. It's amazing how one day you feel super confident and get to the point where you feel like you finally know what you're doing and then BAM one bad night, and you're back to square one.

Seriously though, does it REALLY get better???

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU/CCU, Home Health/Hospice, Cath Lab,.

Deep breath. I am terribly sorry for how you are feeling. Another deep breath. You are not stupid! Stupid people don't acknowledge mistakes. One more deep breath. It does get easier.

Now on to how (and hopefully helping you out - I am male and we try to fix things like this :lol2:).

I know you have heard that everyone makes mistakes. This is true, but those who continue on learn how to identify what went wrong and correct it. You say you gave zofran q 4hr * 3 instead of q 6hr * 3? Was the problem with an incorrectly transcribed MAR? Was the problem with not doing your checks? Do you have too many patients and lost track? Is it something else that I am missing?

Identify the problem. Decide what you can do to fix it - then, just like excercise, practice that solution until it becomes second nature. Is it easy? No. But it does become easier as time goes on. Nursing really takes about a year or so to "start" becoming comfortable - when you can complete most tasks without having to think through each step.

Finally - you might think about starting a journal each day you work. On it list things you did well and things you are proud of. When you have a bad day pull that out and read through all the things that made you want to choose nursing in the first place.

Hope this helps

Pat

Up Vote Up Vote ×

ANH RN -

I know VERY MUCH how you feel. I have made a crappy cluster of med errors in the last 3 weeks. On narcotics, which I think is the worst it can get.

Yesterday I just did another one, and I thought I was doing so well... I'm in LTC, had 27 patients, and we have a narc drawer with a narc book, the old-fashioned method. Most of these pts get the bulk of their meds at 8p (I'd say average of about 8 pills per - some pts have 15, some 4) I pulled the card, entered everything into the narc book, but never popped the Ambien out and never gave it... it was caught at shift count. I never noticed it because the pt had a number of other meds and I had to run back to the med room to get this woman's Ativan because the previous night's nurse never sent for a refill. (Which happened A LOT last night and really ticks me off.) I'm trying to pull all my narcs first and pay most attention to them. I'm trying to stay in a zone when giving meds, which is difficult when ALL YOU DO is give meds ALL NIGHT LONG and the aides are constantly coming up to you and telling you so-and-so needs something. On days the aides are supposed to write down notes on your med cart, not interrupt you... on evenings there is really not that luxury. Med pass is pretty much all night long. And then knowing you have all this charting and paperwork to do - orders to take off, assessments to complete, special little "audits" to do... and answering the phones, etc. Last night I had one of those episodes where I was standing at the med cart in the middle of the hallway and almost burst into tears, because there were still so many meds to give and not enough time. I never get a lunch/dinner break, and I think that is a problem too - I NEED to get off the floor for 30 minutes, even if I don't have it.

I am right there with you when you say you have confident days and then square-one days. I have days when I come home singing, knowing I helped a pt. And then I have nights that I come home and I am ready to call my nurse mgr and tell her I am done. I don't know if it gets better. I am trying to learn from my mistakes, but it feels like I am just a med-cart monkey and I am getting pretty darn sick of it. My med tech last night did my treatments, which is the only "real nursing" I get to do at this place. I know that if I work the same shift over and over it will get better - it has to, because I'll get to know the meds and their times; I should get faster at it.

This job is very stressful; more than I ever imagined. I used to think clinical was stressful. HA! What a cakewalk that was....

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED.

Ok, first off was any harm done to the patient? Probably not. So lets just get that off your shoulders and move on from it ok?

Next, like someone else said, where did the problem lie? If it was with you then just chalk it up to learning and move on, learn from it, process the information when you get your head straight, kinda like a debriefing and lets go forward.

Yes, it does get easier after the first year but only after lessons learned from trials we have already gone through.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Nursing is the hardest job I have ever had. And I've had a lot of them.

Big hugs to all of us.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Your question as to whether it gets easier is not easily answered. I think you will probably develop wonderful coping mechanisms and self-checks if you continue in this profession, but the job itself it always difficult, always high-risk, always extremely misunderstood by just about everyone.

The job doesn't get easier, but you become more adept at negotiating the job, if that makes any sense.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
Nursing is the hardest job I have ever had. And I've had a lot of them.

Big hugs to all of us.

Indeed! I love it but they are most definitely getting their money's worth out of my hide on every single shift.

To the OP: Is your supervisor acting like you are making more mistakes than the average new grad? When I was new I beat myself up over errors even though in my head I knew that even seasoned nurses make med errors. Things like LogCabinMom mentioned with missing a pill in LTC definitely get easier with time. One day you will be able to look at Mrs.Doe's cup and know there is a pill missing, of course then you need to make sure you aren't so set in your routine that you miss her new orders. :D

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Well, I can join with you in your misery. Last night I actually charted on meds that were given in the ER. The pt. was brought up with mag and K riders hanging, and a duplicate order was put in for MORE of them, and I lost track and charted on meds I didn't even GIVE. I mean -- I've been off orientation for 7 months now -- and I shoudl KNOW BETTER!! I am like you, ready to turn myself in to my manager. Actually, I may just go talk to her, and see what she says. I need a major pep talk to know I'm also not a total DUNCE.

What gets me are my co-workers, who look at me in shock, as if they themselves have NEVER made any sort of error at all. It doesn't do a lot for you when no one else will admit to their own. I dont know -- I just also feel the same way, if it makes you feel any better!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

We have barcode technology at my POE. It prevents many medication errors. I'm so thankful to have it.

May I suggest taking the MAR in the room with you? We had to do this

in nursing school. If my medication COW is down, I will do this.

Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU Level III.

I think we all beat ourselves up over mistakes and I feel the same way every now and then...maybe I should just do a desk job where I do something that doesn't really have a big effect on someone's life. But then I realize I *do* want to help people in a big way and ...nothing else really compares with nursing. If only I were money-driven...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU Level III.
Well, I can join with you in your misery. Last night I actually charted on meds that were given in the ER. The pt. was brought up with mag and K riders hanging, and a duplicate order was put in for MORE of them, and I lost track and charted on meds I didn't even GIVE. I mean -- I've been off orientation for 7 months now -- and I shoudl KNOW BETTER!! I am like you, ready to turn myself in to my manager. Actually, I may just go talk to her, and see what she says. I need a major pep talk to know I'm also not a total DUNCE.

What gets me are my co-workers, who look at me in shock, as if they themselves have NEVER made any sort of error at all. It doesn't do a lot for you when no one else will admit to their own. I dont know -- I just also feel the same way, if it makes you feel any better!

No kidding. If it weren't for all the stories I hear on here, I'd think I'm a pretty stupid nurse and everyone else really has their act together ALL THE TIME. Good to know they are just acting. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Part of the med errors I feel are the cockamamie systems they deal them out with. Our computer system is SO hard to learn, even experienced nurses can't figure it out. It takes a good year or TWO to get proficient with it! Meds either "disappear" or someone can transfer w/o charting and then we get stuck with the uncharted med on our floor -- somehow, someway one would think someone could invent a CLEAR, user friendly system for charting these meds!!

I am surprised that more errors are not made with all the levels the order goes through. It's scary, really. But I rely totally on my orders, not even my MAG sometimes. Lately our pharmacy is putting in one wrong error after another!

I just don't get how docs are not requred to type in their orders nowadays. Everyone else has to do it through the computer system -- why don't they????

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion