I've been a nurse for 6 years and I'm pretty decent at it. I've achieved pretty quickly, got the good jobs, won awards, and even saved some lives. Sounds like I should like my job. What I've learned here lately is that the social obligations and demands of nursing WEAR ME DOWN. Being forced to be cordial with co-workers, nice to all your patients/families, basically having to talk when I don't feel like it at all. And I've found the MOST draining thing is to put on that fake act and smile like the cheshire cat for 98% of your shift just to please the masses. Don't misconstrue this, I care about people and I genuinely enjoy helping them; it just comes at a price I wish wasn't so high for myself.
I need some advice from my fellow introverted nurses....
Lastly, there's a quick poll question below if you don;t mind....thanks!
I wish I were more like all of you introverts. I have such a hard time not caring what others think of me that it would be hard for me to sit and chart alone without wondering what my coworkers were thinking of me (maybe they're saying I'm the weird girl, or maybe they think I'm a b**** because I don't want to talk with them). I wish I just didn't care.
I, like you have the same problem where it takes me a while to recharge away from work. I currently work at a peds-hospital where I care and play with kids all day. After my 12-14 hour day at work, I go home to my three beautiful boys (12/9/5) and they demand a lot of my attention. The only time I get time to recharge is when I'm at my USAF Reserves job and I get to sit/work from my cube all day. While active-duty USAF, I loved that I had my own cube and rarely had to come out to interact (computer job). Now that I transitioned to nursing full time, it's very taxing (mentally/spiritually). I find myself in the same boat as you.
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
I work night shift, partly because I like my half-asleep patients, but I also like my little crew of coworkers. I find day shift too overwhelming in the sensory and noise departments, and too busy from an introvert perspective.
Consider night shift in the ICU or a stepdown unit.
I'm an introvert on day shift. It's not too bad interacting with people. I don't feel like I'm pretending when I genuinely care about co-workers and patients and docs. It makes relating easier.
I'm a big time introvert and also socially anxious. I've just graduated and no job yet, but I found that while I was on placement I loved night shift. No extra staffs around, less pt interaction (although, I loved the patients), and less colleague interaction as well (no obligation to go to the breakroom to chat, everyone more mellow overall).
I do not want to be a long-term night shift nurse due to body wear and tear so I intend to move on from "unit nursing" as soon as possible to be honest. Coming out of school I'm very happy with my decision to become a nurse and I even intend to further my education, but I know that I will need to seek an alternative work environment. For now, I will deal.
Can't really offer any advice, but I thought it was the perfect place to vent about co-workers who won't shut up when you're eating or taking a break! Because I'm an introvert, my break time is when I usually try to "recharge" by being quiet and reading and enjoying the silence, so to speak. Inevitably another co-worker comes in to the break room and wants to chat or comments how I "always have my head in my phone" (it used to be in a book--before smartphones). When I get the down time, I need the quiet! I hate small talk! And I don't want to ostracize my co-workers, but even if I put in headphones, someone will talk to me. It is an energy sapper when our job already takes enough energy and focus.
I used to think that I'm an introvert but found out I'm actually a shy extrovert. I get anxious around people and have social phobia but hate being alone. I love going out and socializing, I'm just super awkward most of the time and make dumb mistakes. I never seem to know how to inititate conversation. I never know where, when, and how long to make eye contact. I never talk loud enough and seem to always screw up what I plan on saying. My awkwardness has made other people feel like they have done something wrong (I've been confronted before).
At work, I love when I find another nurse who I can talk to on a personal level. It takes a while for me to find friends and when I finally "click" with someone, I finally feel comfortable and normal. Then I am an open book and cant stop talking. I wish I could talk as easily as others do in a group. The difference between an introvert and me, a shy extrovert, is that an introvert is comfortable remaining silent while I feel anxiety. I hate hearing the dreaded, "You're so quiet" or "Why are you so quiet?" I get those a lot unfortunately so I can definately relate to introverts.
The good thing about nursing is that you're often too busy to feel anxious. You have a job to do so you problems get pushed aside. The residents are my number one priority and I never let my fears get in the way of advocating for their needs.
I wish I were more like all of you introverts. I have such a hard time not caring what others think of me that it would be hard for me to sit and chart alone without wondering what my coworkers were thinking of me (maybe they're saying I'm the weird girl, or maybe they think I'm a b**** because I don't want to talk with them). I wish I just didn't care.
The thing is, we introverts care about the issue just as much as you do or even more. We just do not show it, like we do not show our worlds to everyone.
It took me years to stop paying attention to notes like "you're too serious to be a good nurse" and kinda put them in the same box with "science is no good for women" and "black students are great in sports and not so for math". To my mental File #13 they go, together with their authors, who thus happened to say about themselves WAY more than they ever would imagine.
I wasn't sure whether to be offended or amused at this comment. In the end I just sighed and shook my head. ICU is by far the most emotionally draining unit to work, other than pediatric oncology (which I am not strong enough to do). While true that the patients are often sedated and unresponsive, you have never seen such a clusterfuk of family dynamics when dozens of dysfunctional relatives show up at the bedside when they hear Tutu isn't going to make it. Exhausting!
To the original question, I am an introvert, but have a work persona. When I get off this leads to some friction with my spouse when she doesn't understand I need some downtime playing computer games or reading the internet news. Whatever your personality is, nursing is an exhausting profession, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I'm an introvert that had a pretty painful shyness problem that I was able to cope with prior to starting nursing school (wouldn't even have applied to a program if it was still an issue). What I have found, though, is that I love people......in small-to-medium doses (and some days micro doses).
It didn't occur to me at first how draining it could be dealing with people at the level that we do in patient care. I think that's why I ended up choosing pediatrics. I let the kids be excited and do their thing if they're living a little more out loud than some other kids and I can empathize with the really shy ones who would just like it if I got out of the room as fast as possible. The parents, though....I forget, especially when a kid is in treatment for chemo, how terribly boring being in a room, day in, day out with your kid with little or no interaction with other adults, especially if the kid is on isolation or it's flu season and the other parent has to stay at home with the
So, I look at it like any other intervention. I assess those cues/hints that the parents just want to/need to chat and, judging by how much time I have or what I need to go do next, I'll give myself time to just small talk with them a little bit. Sometimes I get caught up and I have to give a little more than I thought I would be giving and, since I'm introverted, I tend to get sapped of my energy more than any other physical activity. If I happen to be doing a lot of "socializing" that shift, I will usually find time to go somewhere secluded and just sit and be alone. It will allow me to re-energize a little bit before the trek home and it's something I've recognized that I need in order to survive this career. I've also recognized that, in addition to patients, when it comes to socializing with coworkers, that is a paramount necessity to the job. And just the same, as much as I love the people I work with, sometimes I just have to go somewhere and be alone. But, I also know that, like any other kind of exercise, the more I push myself, the longer I can go before getting to that point of needing seclusion and the shorter the alone times need to be.
The difference between an introvert and me, a shy extrovert, is that an introvert is comfortable remaining silent while I feel anxiety.
Introvert vs. extrovert is actually a physiological difference in the brain. It has nothing to do with being shy, nothing to do with feeling anxiety, nothing to do with enjoying being around people. Many introverts love to socialize. It's just that introverts then require alone-time to re-energize. Whereas, an extrovert gains energy from being around other people. This is a great explanation here, basically it has to do with how the brain processes dopamine. Here is an exerpt: "extroverts required more stimulation from the world in order to feel alert and awake, while introverts were easily over-stimulated. This helped to explain extroverts' sense of risk-taking, challenges, and constant social company to keep them stimulated, while introverts often had to seek out alone time in order to lower their over-stimulation — thriving best at home, in library corners, or in peaceful parks." The Brain Of An Introvert Compared To That Of An Extrovert: Are They Really Different?
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nightflower
86 Posts
I wish I were more like all of you introverts. I have such a hard time not caring what others think of me that it would be hard for me to sit and chart alone without wondering what my coworkers were thinking of me (maybe they're saying I'm the weird girl, or maybe they think I'm a b**** because I don't want to talk with them). I wish I just didn't care.