School + Work + Mom = Goin Nuts?

Bicster · Jun 13, 2008

I am a SAHD, nursing student and working non stop on helping open my wifes practice.

A few years ago I was a full time grad student, worked full time, opened and started a business and planned a wedding and honeymoon.

You do what needs to be done and can rest when you are retired.

vashtee, RN · Jun 13, 2008

I think you are expecting too much of yourself if you have a non-supportive husband (and by supportive, I mean one who will actually help with childcare responsibilities - not just one who "doesn't mind" if you go to school). Is there some reason he can't help with this? Because quite frankly, I can't see that it all can be done on no sleep.

I also want to suggest you buy one of those books about how to get your kid to sleep through the night. Everyone in the house will benefit from uninterrupted sleep, including the baby.

allnurses Guide · Jun 13, 2008

I waited until my youngest was in 1st grade. She slept through the night by then . .. Plus all my kids were in school when I was in school and I was home when they were home, for the most part.

Do you have to work?

I agree with trying to change your daughter's sleeping habits, even if you don't need to work or go to school. Here are some links to experts.

http://www.askdrsears.com/

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

steph

Ladypie · Jun 13, 2008

I totally sympathize. What are your opinions on CIO? (crying it out) I would first concentrate on the sleeping pattern of your daughter. My 3 kids all woke up throughout the night that first year because they were breastfed and used to the routine. But at 12 months, they do not need the nutrition, and can make do with less frequent contact.

It is hard, but you would benefit from your daughter learning to self-soothe. I never let my kids cry it out before age 1, but somewhere around that age, they should be able to get themselves back to sleep.

Again, I know this is a touchy subject for many moms. No one wants to hear their baby crying. I am not an advocate for CIO before age 1 or so. And I have limits to how long I could personally tolerate the crying. 10 minutes, sure, but 45 minutes? I would cave. Thankfully, most children learn very quickly and it doesn't go on like after a time or two.

I think you should not get a job until you get the sleeping issue worked out. Once you are feeling rested on a consistent basis, I bet you will feel ready to take on the world!

Hope I didn't offend with my advice. I really sympathize and hope you can figure something out. It stinks to feel so tired all the time.

allnurses Guide · Jun 13, 2008

Crying it out IS controversial . . . .

We did it with our first child for one night - he cried for an hour. When I went to check on him, he had vomited, his face was in the vomit and he had a fever. Perfect guilt inducing event. . . plus it was horrible to hear him cry. We never did it again.

No offense taken Ladypie - it is good to talk openly about options.

steph

dee78 · Jun 13, 2008

I think it depends on the method used. I used the method where you go back in every so often (10 minutes to start) to let the baby know you love them but they have to go back to sleep, you can calm them down so they don't get so worked up. The first few nights you enter the room every 10 minutes, then you increase to 15, then 20, etc until the baby learns that they have to go to sleep alone.

It is really hard, your heart breaks every time but you just have to be consistent with it.

One other thing, what kind of daytime sleep schedule is she on? You might try to change that a bit as well. If she takes a morning and afternoon nap, try to get her to take a nap right after lunch.

Good luck.

vetiver · Jun 14, 2008

Spidey's Mom posted some great resources! The no cry sleep method worked for me and my twins within a week. I was up every 45 minutes with them for a few months and I thought I would jump out the window. This is some great advice that my LC gave me at the time:

If you resent it (or your child)...you're not doing it right.

That goes for a lot of parenting, I think.

If you don't HAVE to work, don't. Let school be your job. It's hard enough. If you have to work, then get your girl's sleeping in order first. What they say about giving your child the gift of being able to sleep through the night is true.

Good luck, mama.

3rdgenRN2B · Jun 17, 2008

Personally, I think you should wait until your child is a little older before going to NS. Your child is only this young once and the time will pass by so quick. School, on the other hand, will be there whenever you are ready. Plus, you may end up completely burning yourself out in the process. I have a 16 month old and I work full time. I was taking classes last semester but I'm taking a break to enjoy being a mom. Every time I left for a class I felt that I might be missing something big like her first steps, first word, etc. If I take any classes at all this coming fall they will be online so I won't be away from my daughter quite as much. When she's a little older I'll be able to explain to her that mommy needs to do her homework and hopefully she will get it. For now, when I can't play with her and she wants my attention, my trying to do homework instead just feels like I'm neglecting her...

Do what you feel is best for you, and maybe have a heart to heart with that hubby of yours. Explain to him how important it is for you both to share in the resposibilities of raising your child. Explain that you need sleep too. Maybe take turns getting up in the middle of the night, that's what we did when our daughter was still waking up every night. And don't worry, this phase will pass. My daughter now sleeps all night (even tho I probably just jinxed myself) and we NEVER let her cry it out. I just could never take hearing her cry for too long, it broke my heart. But that works for some so go with your gut...

OK, I'm rambling now. I just thought I'd share my experiences and my :twocents: .. Good luck to you with whatever choice you make and enjoy that little one of yours!!

obicurn · Jun 17, 2008

If it were me.....and it's not, but:

I would put my foot so far up my husband's rear, my shoelaces would come out of his mouth.

Talk to him and make him realize that you going to school is only going to benefit your family in the long run. If you never have an opportunity to sleep and recharge your batteries, the first place that frustration is going to present itsself is within your marriage. Make him understand that he needs to be a little more supportive of you and get up at least half the time with the little one when she wakes at night.

You'll both be happier in the end and it will give him extra bonding time with the baby.

nursin09student · Jun 19, 2008

Sorry, i didn't quite know how to word the title...
So, here is my dilemma. I want to hear from other moms that may have experienced the same thing. I seriously need words of encouragement right now.
I've been a SAHM. I am back in school working on pre-reqs, cna, etc.. and plan to get a part-time job soon... ontop of being a "homemaker"..
My daughter will be turning 1 and I can count on one hand the amount of times she has slept through the night these first 12 months.
Once she wakes up, she's UP.. it takes hours to get her back to bed, or a long car-ride and gas is tooooo darn expensive for me to do that anymore.
I know it's common because I know other moms who are going through the same thing.
The only problem is that I am exhausted when I get home from school. DH doesn't get up with her in the middle of the night and I think I might go batty. I don't think I can work ontop of school ontop of mom duty.
My daughter got up at 2am and it's now 5:22am and she finally went back to bed. I don't know how I'd cope if I was already IN nursing school.
Just looking to see if anyone has gotten through something similar.. and have stayed sane?

Let me start off by staying being a mom is hard, so when you incorparate our goals on top of it, it really becomes a struggle between yourself and yourself because you wonder if you are doing the right thing or not. I am a single mom of 2(ages 5 and 2) I work full time, go to school for my pre-req at night and still try and get home to give my children at least a half-hour to an hour of my day. I do believe you need a support system, talk to DH and explain to him how you are feeling. Maybe he thinks you are okay because you haven't expressed yourself.

I also understand what you are going through as far as your daughter not sleep because my 2 y.o. thinks she isn't suppose to go to bed unless I go to bed. You have to try a new system, try putting her to bed a little later to get her to sleep a little longer instead of her going to bed at 8pm try putting her to bed at 8:30pm, shorten her afternoon nap to may an hour. When you get ready for your evening, instead of feeding her then given her a bath change it around so that she will already be washed once she get tried after eating. After you bathe her play a game that you know make her a little tired. Try and switch your routine and see how that works.

Also a tired mom of 2

Keya

gwapalicious · Jun 19, 2008

start giving your daughter a sleep routine as it will get harder to do so when she is older. my husband puts our children to bed at 7.30 pm and asleep by 8. it takes about a week for kids to get used to your new routine but it does work. it will also give you a break and not stressing yourself too much eh : ) :up: :smilecoffeecup::tbsk: