Sad conversation today

[TazziRN, RN]

i have a home care pt that i've been seeing for quite a while now, and she and her husband are really sweet. she has mild dementia...remembers me in between visits but doesn't remember my name, etc. she often asks me repetitive questions or tells me something she's already told me several times...you know how it goes.

today she asked me if the "forgetting" is normal for people getting older. with her husband's permission i told her that she was suspected to have early alzheimer's. her face got sad and she asked me if she would get better. i told her that one of her meds would slow down the progress but she would get worse, not better. i literally saw the light go out of her eyes and she very quietly said "oh."

i know that she won't remember the conversation the next time i see her, but it was so sad to see the realization in her face.

[CHATSDALE]

this job has its rough times, bles you

[leslie :-D]

next time you see her, ask her how she met her husband...

and watch the light shine back on.

leslie

[incublissRN, BSN, RN]

That breaks my heart!

[TazziRN, RN]

next time you see her, ask her how she met her husband...

and watch the light shine back on.

leslie

that's a good idea, les. she's a neat lady. i tell her about the trials and tribbles.....i mean, tribulations...of raising two girls, and i have her practically rolling on the floor laughing!

[woody62, RN]

that's a good idea, les. she's a neat lady. i tell her about the trials and tribbles.....i mean, tribulations...of raising two girls, and i have her practically rolling on the floor laughing!

i agree with leslie. and the next time you see her, ask her about any pets she may have had. or funny things that her children, if she had any, did when they were younger. or ask her about her own life. i'm willing to bet she has many happy moments she is capable of rememebering and sharing. and perhaps you could encourage her husband to tape record them, so that he can listen to her when she is no longer with him.

woody:balloons:

[HM2VikingRN, RN]

we had to help our patients in our gero clinical write a reminiscence paper. Maybe she would really like to take the time to tell her story to you...

[nurz2be]

i have a home care pt that i've been seeing for quite a while now, and she and her husband are really sweet. she has mild dementia...remembers me in between visits but doesn't remember my name, etc. she often asks me repetitive questions or tells me something she's already told me several times...you know how it goes.

today she asked me if the "forgetting" is normal for people getting older. with her husband's permission i told her that she was suspected to have early alzheimer's. her face got sad and she asked me if she would get better. i told her that one of her meds would slow down the progress but she would get worse, not better. i literally saw the light go out of her eyes and she very quietly said "oh."

i know that she won't remember the conversation the next time i see her, but it was so sad to see the realization in her face.

tazzi,

i have in my home, my mother and mother-in-law, who both suffer from different stages of alzheimer's. i can remember the day i took my mom to the doctor because she was forgetting to take her pills. we had initially gone to see if he could give us some advice on how to help her with her meds. when he came in and told us what he feared to be happening, and indeed was, the first thing my mom did was look at me and say, " i don't want to lose you kiddo." the reality that she was going to, at some point, lose me to her mind frightened her so much. i still remember the pain in my heart when she said that. we didn't talk about it much the next few days except me insisting she move in with my family. i knew it would help her hold on having me, my kids with her everyday. this works most of the time. what i did do was make several photo albums just for her room. pictures of her when she was little going through our life together, and her life with my kids. she looks at those everyday. sometimes i can see in her face not being able to remember. it breaks my heart but the last thing i told her before her memory got so incredibly rocky was, "mom, you saw me take my first breath and i will be with you when you take your last." i will hold to that. alzheimer's truly is harder on the family than the person once it reaches the place where they start asking who you are and who they are. it is hard...it is an awful disease. i pray has a cure one day in the near future.

[furturenurse]

Nurz2be your story touched me and brought tears to my eyes. God Bless you

[CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN]

what good does it provide a patient to tell them realistically that his/her condition will worsen? how are we to know really? scientifically yes we know patient's with dementia worsen with time, the statistical trend is there plain as day. but, could we not say there must be someone who has reversed this trend through diet, through exercise, through digging through one's closet for that long lost crossword puzzle. anyway, sorry tazz, but you know how i like to kick up the dust!

[jmgrn65, RN]

what good does it provide a patient to tell them realistically that his/her condition will worsen? how are we to know really? scientifically yes we know patient's with dementia worsen with time, the statistical trend is there plain as day. but, could we not say there must be someone who has reversed this trend through diet, through exercise, through digging through one's closet for that long lost crossword puzzle. anyway, sorry tazz, but you know how i like to kick up the dust!

don't you think that if someone out there did that, reversed alzheimers with diet or what ever. it would be in the news!!! and maybe your right about what good it would do to tell, but what good did it do for you to say that to tazzi but hurt her feelings or make her feel worse.

[CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN]

as stated by the above poster, that i did not consider tazzi's feelings is a misunderstanding of where i'm coming from on this issue. cancer patients have a reversal of their disease not following the trend in science books without medical interventions, drug abusers stop taking the drugs without medical interventions, miracles happen. and to put me in a box of having no compassion makes me feel insulted likewise.