Sabotaging in nursing

[Dexterosa]

When I started nursing, I was aware of pecking order. You start, you get the worst patients, you have to be nice to coworker who is mocking you. You have to say you were wrong even you were not, to gain a permission to breath at your unit. While other coworkers will a) join the club of hyenas and peck on the weak ones, or b) they will quit in hope finding better job, you stay neutral and righteous. Your patients are taken care of, they are safe. No codes, no deaths, no mistakes, no problems...

You work overtimes to help your coworkers. You work overtimes on weekends when someone called off, you give up your shift, because manager forget to put new coworker on the schedule and coworker is upset - so you let her take your shift, and drive hour back home. Just to please everyone. They call you after you come back from school at 9 pm that they need you, and you jump in car and come, just to get again the es eidz ai te assignment. You will put up with bully of your coworkers. You will let them push you aside. Staying in that hospital for years. You will not join the hyenas, you will help the newbies. While people who arrived after you, are already long time gone "because they will not put up with such a toxic environment". Each month someone leave. Mostly just a few months after they were hired. And then one day, you say. Its enough, I paid my dues. I paid back the opportunity and lessons. And your manager (who did not ask anyone else before to stay) ask you to stay if he make a minor change. And then you instead of polite lie, you said at first, now you tell him public secret, why everyone leaves, you just repeat email you sent months ago what is really going on on the floor, how you really feel about bullying at your work place and about being pushed around, and that you really honestly don't want to put with it anymore, because you don't have to. You would love to help them, and you may come as registry. But you are not staying full time. I got a job. Started there. But just to get 6 weeks later job offer - one would kill for.

Just to find out, that someone is sabotaging you and you are getting bad references and thus can't get that job....

The irony is, that the job I did not got thanks to someones poor reference is a job in specialty my hospital cries for. And I would have come back as a registry...

It is inconvenience, I guess I will get such a job sooner or later, with little more energy invested. I guess I can do it all over again. And I even don't know if I should address it. Or just calmly accept that in that place - summing up all what is wrong with nursing - they just punished themselves.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I am having a hard time following, OP.

A bad reference from whom? Your manager?

Are you trying to transfer within your system?

There are laws that are clear on what HR can and can not disclose.

If you are union, speak with them about it.

Otherwise, I would look outside of your hospital system, and have HR contacted only.

[NuGuyNurse2b]

I'm having trouble following, too. partly due to the lack of paragraphs. also, I don't think you know what irony means...that situation you described isn't ironic. You not getting a position that your hospital needs because someone gave you a bad reference isn't irony. I blame Alanis Morisette.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I'm having trouble following, too. partly due to the lack of paragraphs. also, I don't think you know what irony means...that situation you described isn't ironic. You not getting a position that your hospital needs because someone gave you a bad reference isn't irony. I blame Alanis Morisette.

I think that the irony is that OP was trying to fill a specialty position that the hospital really needs and someone in the hospital apparently stopped her from getting the position. I say I think because I also cannot figure out most of the post.

Paragraphs are good. Paragraphs are your friend. Also, I think switching between first and second person makes it more confusing.

And what is "es eidz ai te assignment"?

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Just my perspective:

Your syntax is hard to follow, especially at the end...did you take another position and then get sabotaged, and then got demoted or what? it sounds like you got a new job, and could have easily walked away from the "toxic work environment" and had a piece of mind.

Even as a new nurse, new to specially nurse, and/or new to unit nurse, that doesn't give anyone the right to make your feel inferior without your consent-you have the ability to vote with your feet in order to have piece of mind and be able to practice competently without fear of scrutiny.

Whenever I worked at a less than ideal place, I made sure no one knew I was leaving; I would use former co workers as references; usually I had the job before I would leave; if the job was that horrible, I wouldn't go back-I like my sanity.

Back to the rest of your OP.

Near the end, it sounds as though you got a new job, wanted a new position, so the new job is sabotaging you as well?

I'm confused.

[Libby1987]

This is what the story sounds like to me.. I tolerated abuse for so long and got no reward for it, he ended up dumping me anyway, he was supposed to love me after all the years I gave him when no one else would put up with his crap.

[Dexterosa]

Hi, I apologize if I did not write clearly.

I worked in the hospital called "revolving door" for years. No complaints, no issues. After years, I decided it is time to move on. I landed a job in another hospital. (you click do not contact previous employer, etc.) Told my manager. Gave appropriate notice, worked last few weeks. Started working at new hospital. It is ok hospital. I still work there full time, on similar position as at revolving door. It is good hospital. Some time later, out of blue sky I was contacted by recruiter from hospital I (never even dreamt to work at) for job in the specialty I would kill for. (It is a specialty the original (revolving door) hospital is in desperate need. So six weeks ago this recruiter offered me an opportunity I did now want to miss. I would take full time job at this new heaven hospital, learnt and while working there full time, would come help as registry, prn at revolving door hospital)

Without having any suspicion I let this new offer hospital check references. (Unit manager, charge nurses, coworkers...) And one of them turned real, real bad. I had scheduled second interview which got suddenly cancelled. When I called new heaven hospital, I find out, that there was a problem with references. They will not tell me who, I can't point finger, I can't be sure who gave me bad references and what their intensions were. Imagine, you work your butt off, you put up with everything, you did not do nothing wrong... and someone tries to hurt you.

I seriously think, that after all what I had to go through in that hospital, I deserved better.

What do you do in such a cases?

The irony is - that this hospital of revolving door, may deteriorate due to lack of trained personal... now they could have someone to pull the hot potato out of fire for them. But they instead ruined their chance to have trained nurse.

I hope it is more clear now.

My question is, how do you cope with be es at workplace? How do you deal with situation like this?

[Dexterosa]

Hi, that is what I did. I left job at hospital A for job at hospital B. Same type of work. Pretty much everything at hospital B is better. Now the hospital C walk in and give me an offer I seriously had never thoughts I would dare to apply for. And I got interview, passed it, and they are processing the references. So they contacted previous employer (which is hospital A) not the current employer (which is hospital B) and that is where someone was malicious. I am not sure, how to deal with this, how to avoid same issue in future...

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

If I had a new job, I would NEVER use them as references; I have other references from other people; especially if the place is a dump-of COURSE they are not going to give you a good reference.

What you could've done, which I have done in the past, is for people who are leaving is have them be my reference and I would do the same.

You got the new job because you didn't use them as a reference, so you could've done the same in hindsight.

At this point, focus on your new position, gain your experience, and try again.

Best wishes.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Imagine, you work your butt off, you put up with everything, you did not do nothing wrong... and someone tries to hurt you.

I seriously think, that after all what I had to go through in that hospital, I deserved better.

What do you do in such a cases?

That was your first mistake. You didn't have the respect of your coworkers or manager because you allowed them to mistreat you and manipulate you. And now, they had another opportunity to screw you over, so they took it gladly.

No good deed goes unpunished. I'm not saying you should be difficult, but doing anything and everything people ask of you, allowing yourself to be mistreated and manipulated, never demanding respect, and not standing up against bullying never leads to a good result. Ever.

I agree with above. Do a good job where you are. Be a team player, but do not let others abuse your good will by agreeing to everything, no matter how unfair. Stand up for yourself with composure and class. Set limits and enforce personal boundaries.

Then try again for dream job.

[nynursey_]

I really only have this this to add, OP:

KNOW YOUR WORTH.

You allow people to treat you the way you believe you deserve to be treated. We all have choices in life. Putting up with a toxic work environment is a choice. It may not be a choice you like, but it is a choice, and it appears you had made it loud and clear.

I think it's awful you didn't get a position you were vying for. That must be difficult to handle. But ultimately, you teach people how to treat you. Start demanding a little more respect. Understand you're just as valuable as every other nurse out there. Believe it and then you'll start acting that way.

[AceOfHearts<3]

According to my manager our facility has a rule managers can't act as references because of legal issues. I've heard of people submitting positive reviews from work, that you should have access to, instead. Might be something to consider in the future- reviews and coworkers you know will give you a good reference.