Here are some of my rules. Feel free to add your own.
When I ask you what brings you in today, please don't tell me your life story. I just need to know what symptoms you are having Right. This. Minute. that are concerning enough to bring you to the ER.
Please be ready for me to take your VS. I know it's starting to get a little nippy outside, but when I have to wait for you to take off your three sweaters and overcoat before I can take your BP, it really bogs things down. You did know you were going to have your BP taken, right?
If you tell me that you've been having your symptoms for over a year, please know that your acuity level will be downgraded accordingly.
If you have multiple complaints, pick one.
Don't ask me how long the wait will be. The nature of ER flow is unpredictable. If I tell you an hour and it turns into two, you're going to be grumpy and take it out on me. Also, on a related note, don't ask me where you are "in line". That's not how it works.
Don't tell me you have an appointment/have to be at work/have to pick up the kids in a specified amount of time, as if I'm going to whisk you right back and get the doctor in the room right away just so you can make it to your thing-you-have-to-do. That's not my priority or my problem.
When you come in for a stuffy nose and have to wait, please don't stand in my line of sight and give me the stink eye while I triage another patient. I did not drag you in off the street to come in here for your stuffy nose. You do know what the word "Emergency" means, right?
Sincerely,
Spending Too Much Time In Triage, Somewhere In The USA
