Published Oct 11, 2012
siRNita, BSN, RN
25 Posts
Let me preface this with, I am SO excited to be an orientee. I know it's going to be a great job, hard sometimes, but good. I've finished six weeks of floor nursing on med/surg units. Now for the first time I will be going to other units.
But today sucked. There's no way around it. It was brutal. I ran my tail off and still felt like a terrible, horrible, very bad nurse.
I had 3 patients, all on iso. One was discharging but his d/c got delayed, but I still had to make the phone calls to the SNF. Then I got phone calls from family and friends who I wasn't even sure I could talk to. Thank GOD for the nursing student who basically took care of my second patient. The third patient had intense dressing changes. Before the discharge left I got another patient who was waiting to go to a procedure.
The main problem was a preceptor mismatch. My preceptor was the Socratic/pedantic sort and had this constant disapproving look, like 'I can't believe they let you in here.' She said things like: "What are you going to do now?" "What do you think your priorities should be?" "What do YOU think you did well?" Normally those questions would be fine, but today I wanted to say: "Well actually right now I hate nursing, hate your unit, and feel awful about myself." Instead I made up some BS about prioritization. Another problem was "hostility from the natives" - I felt like a pariah around them. But, I got through the day... even realized when I got downstairs I had carried off a med and a pager, so I returned those... then came home and cried. There's always something left undone. At least I was nice to my patients and I did the best I could, even if it wasn't perfect.
Thank God not all days are like this. I have had so many good days where things ran like clockwork, where meds and cares actually got done, where I felt competent and accepted. I love the place I work and I still believe in my call to nursing.
Well thanks for letting me vent, I feel a little better now. Going to go eat cheesecake and head back tomorrow to face the mis- I mean, joy.
BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN
3,520 Posts
(((HUGS))), it'll get better!!! Is there anyway to NOT have a student assigned to you when you are so new to the unit? That sounds like they are giving you a little more than you're ready for
Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN
20,908 Posts
BIG :hug:. There will be days like these.....even after years and years you will have that day when you wonder why you became a nurse, whatever possessed you to think you could be a nurse and that you hate your job. I would come home and consult with my friends.....Ben and Jerry;)....about some culinary therapy. But come morning........ you realize that you actually like your job, most days, and it wasn't that bad after all.
I don't know if you have a brain sheet. I have swore by them for years. Here are a few I've collected and some that have been made by other AN members and some from a a special member Daytonite(RIP). Adapt them as you need.:hug: Feel better!
5 Pt. Shift.doc
1 patient Float.doc
MTPMedSurg (2).doc
Report Sheet.doc
FinalGraduateShiftReport.doc
DAY SHEET 2 doc.doc
*4!#6
222 Posts
I am a new nurse just off of orientation too. Trust me, many of my days I feel like that. Especially with an admission or transfer -- that really throws a wrench into things for me. Just a few days ago I had a very difficult admission and I came home crying and was looking up jobs outside of nursing, wishing I could get out. I felt like I wasn't giving good care. The day shift nurses always grill me about my patients and sometimes I feel like an idiot. There are so many things that give me a lot of anxiety or cause me to panic.
So I guess I don't have much to say except I can relate!
proud nurse, BSN, RN
556 Posts
I've had a few days like this myself. I also have a preceptor mismatch. That's an excellent way of putting it. I'd like to think I can work well with anyone, but this preceptor really has been difficult. I've made it through things way worse than this, and I believe I will get through this too. This weekend is supposed to be my last 2 days on orientation. It's been hard trying to be perfect...and I'm no where near perfect.
littlepeopleRNICU
476 Posts
I'm really sorry you had such a bad day! They are not all like that in nursing, but you will have them...sometimes even years after experience! Don't let it get you down though. Remember, you are still LEARNING. That's what orientation is for, and a preceptor should be there to support you. Part of that learning is learning the management of those crazy situations. Some days you do have all 5 or 6 or more of your patients that all have something insane going on with them. It all just gets better with practice.
CNAtoCRNA
3 Posts
What is this 'Nurses Eat Their Young' attitude? I don't get it and I don't tolerate people behaving like that. It's in everyone's best interest if you help nurture new team members, not ostracize them and make them feel awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It does get better.
Thanks everybody for the encouragment!! I'm a big fan of brainsheets, I don't know how I'd get through the day without them! It's so helpful to look at the piece of paper and know exactly when I need to be where. I was glad the student was assigned to that patient, he probably got much better care that way than with me pulled in many different directions :)
And today was MUCH better. I think half of the problem yesterday was being on an unfamiliar unit and not knowing where things were, plus just scrambling to stay afloat. My new preceptor today was "teacherly" but encouraging, and I had one of the same patients so I knew what was going on. Major answer to prayer. I'm psyched for next week. More medical... here I come!
BeforeBirthBondingVT
1 Post
siRNita said: Thanks everybody for the encouragment!! I'm a big fan of brainsheets, I don't know how I'd get through the day without them! It's so helpful to look at the piece of paper and know exactly when I need to be where. I was glad the student was assigned to that patient, he probably got much better care that way than with me pulled in many different directions ? And today was MUCH better. I think half of the problem yesterday was being on an unfamiliar unit and not knowing where things were, plus just scrambling to stay afloat. My new preceptor today was "teacherly" but encouraging, and I had one of the same patients so I knew what was going on. Major answer to prayer. I'm psyched for next week. More medical... here I come!
Over 10 years on the floors in different roles and I could never go without my assignment sheet handwritten in my secret and unique nursing language is the only way I work!
SarcasticLVN
92 Posts
Those are the worst kind of days. It's especially hard when you float (I'm a floater) because you have to start fresh every shift when you haven't been to that unit in a week or a few days, things constantly changing. But all the good days make up for those crazy, horrible, and depressing days :) at least they do for me! Good luck and just do your thing!
turnforthenurse, MSN, NP
3,364 Posts
yes to brain sheets! They are a big help!
I'm sorry you had a rough day, OP! Some days will be like that and others will be cake. It just depends! Are you going to be with that same preceptor during your whole orientation process? Perhaps you can speak with management about switching preceptors to find a better "fit."
Altra, BSN, RN
6,255 Posts
Consider whether your preceptor's questions were an appropriate attempt to keep you thinking, prioritizing, and on track ... instead of "spinning" in a circle without focus when things get really intense.
Glad to hear you had a better day to follow. :)