RN lost her first patient today

mindlor · Dec 14, 2011

hmm I dont think a gift is appropriate actually...maybe just a hug and a few words of support or maybe a card?

Sun0408, ASN, RN · Dec 14, 2011

A sympathy card and a journal. The journal will help get her emotions out and keep her head clear.. I lost one pt while I was in nursing school and that was hard, I thought I had done something wrong, it took a long time to and a lot of talks with my teacher to get over it.

TopazLover, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2011

I like the idea of encouraging journaling. The idea of giving a gift seems strange to me. A bit of a pep talk and time allowed for her to express what it was that made her believe she was at fault might be in line.

I just had the conversation with a family member today who was feeling bad that they agreed to discontinue ongoing transfusions and allow mom to depart as she wished. If we are to be able to support these family members we have to be solid in our understanding of death. We each will see if differently but we cannot own it.

Encourage this nurse to journal and find out how she owns this death. It will be more powerful than all the presents to make her feel good temporarily.

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 14, 2011

While a "gift" per se is inappropriate, the thought behind it is absolutely great! A sympathy card, a hug, kind words, an open ear and shoulder to cry on is also absolutely ok. I really like the idea of a journal and encouragement for that nurse to use it.

mindlor · Dec 14, 2011

I think it is very important for all of us to form a very good relationship with death.....get to know it, and understand that many times it is the absolute best outcome for our clients....

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2011

I don't think I'd get her a "present" so to speak, but I would "share" a copy of "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner. It can give you a real sense of peace when confronted by the elemental question that mankind poses to God: How could You let this happen?

Do-over, ASN, RN · Dec 14, 2011

Once, when I had a really tough time with a situation my co-workers were awesome. One gave me a huge hug (I am not a hugger usually, but I was a but closer with her than the others on that night). My former preceptor took some time to debrief with me, and throughout the night another co-worker listened as I worked through it.

the gift of their presence and support was the best gift I could have received that night.

nslade · Dec 14, 2011

You never forget the first one, it will get better...

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 14, 2011

I remember my first code ever... I've had a few that stick out in my memory, but most are kind of a blur. I also remember my most recent as well. It's called the primacy-recency effect. A couple stick out in memory, but...

Bravekids · Dec 14, 2011

I can still remember the first child who passed away on my watch...sometimes there is no good reason for a patient to die. Keeping a journal is a good way to examine and work through difficult feelings. Her "caring" does her credit but she must find a way to move through this and hopefully gain the tools needed to deal with the next death of a patient.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2011

I had my first code a few weeks ago. Feel free to search for it. It contains ideas and thoughts that I had to get out, and the support from the other an.com ers was just what helped me pull out of a shame spiral and feeling like I was a crappy nurse. Being there and asking your coworker "Hey, I'm here, I have a few minutes, do you want to talk about what happened?" will do more than a gift.