Resignation not going well. Advice?

[imalilteapott]

I never thought I would be in such a sticky situation and posting about it but here goes-

I am a critical care nurse with 5ish years experience. CCRN, involved in AACN, lots of committees, awards, and nice things on my resume. I'm pretty passionate about nursing. I like my job overall. No spots on my record. Even back from when I was a CNA in nursing school, Ive never been pulled into the office or written up (some of this I know is just luck too because no one is perfect).

6 months ago, I left my job of 4 years in the ICU to move to a similar job in a different ICU where I was promised a better schedule, more vacation, more $$, and a promotion. Not one of these promises were fulfilled. I was never promoted as promised. No one is allowed to take vacation, and scheduling is a mess. This made me miserable, but trying to be loyal and professional I was going to stick out a year.

Well since then, I have had some family and health changes happen. I needed to drop my hours. I asked to be part time. I was told yes.....then at the last minute I was told no and was placed on the next schedule with a full-time schedule filled with all weekends and mondays/fridays. I then nicely replied, I could not work those hours, and again said I needed to cut my hours. I received no reply. I tried to work it out with HR and they sent me back to management. I knew I would be calling in a lot if my hours couldn't be dropped. So I decided to resign giving a full 2 weeks notice (after my original 3 weeks notice to go part-time).

Today- a few days before my last day- some of the management starting saying things to me such as "If you go through with this resignation your career will be ruined, your throwing your life away." and " You will never be hired in this system again." and " Your a disappointment, if you want to stay home and not have a career, then I cant stop you, but I thought you were ambitious, this will really ruin your career." and the finally one " We think you are just quitting to take vacation."

I don't know what to do. I feel very uncomfortable going back for my last few days. I do have many doctors notes covering all call-ins prior to quitting. I checked and I dont have unscheduled abscences over the allowed (but I am at my limit which is why I wanted to drop hours/resign) and Ive never been tardy. I just feel very threatened over nothing. I have always had a good reputation and now I feel like its ruined. My old job of 4 years has welcomed me back with open arms but I hate to burn bridges. Anyway out of this? Should I go to HR? Run away?? What would you do?

[jennilynn]

If they're already putting you on the do not rehire list, then why not just not go in your last few shifts if it is truly as hostile and miserable as it sounds?

I am all for working out one's notice and being professional. But the accusations they are making toward you are to hit below the belt.

Walk away.

[SuzieVN]

Even if you decide to stay, the fire has been lit. They'll never forgive you, because they act as though they are doing you a speacial favor to allow you to work there. How dare you rebuff that? Anyway, if you go back you'll probably be be set up to fail, in your last few days. I'm spooked for you.

[yedwards42, BSN, MSN]

Hi imaliteapott,

I'm not a nurse, though I've been in healthcare 16 years (Senior Analyst in Finance). I resigned from my job as Sr. Analyst about a year ago to take some prereq's and apply to Samuel Merritt University's ABSN program Summer 2013 (and just found out I was accepted). For reference, I already have a Bachelor's in Health Science and minor in Business. I read your post, and was appalled at the responses you are receiving from your current managment and job! I know there are a lot of politics and red tape in healthcare (and really in any industry) though I find the comments/responses you're received unprofessional, unethical and plain rude!

What I would do in this situation, is document (and keep everything) that you've discussed, heard and received from all parties. To me the responses you've received say "they value your work tremendously" however, their actions and promises to you along the way have shown otherwise. They would be at a loss without you, though their comments are strikingly threatening and unprofessional/unethical. Going to HR could backfire, as I know I had an issue at one hospital I worked (my manager was having an affair with another lady in our office) and things got worse for me in my office! So while HR is supposedly to help, I think they tend to side with management when possible (atleast in my case and in what I've seen at a few hospitals I've worked). Maybe, there is someone in HR or someone else though you can trust to help? Are you a part of a union? Overall, for me I'd eagerly accept the offer to return to your former job as you would be happier with your hours, working conditions and general appreciation! I would try to finish up my last days at the current job (be as pleasant as possible) and move forward.

I'm thinking good thoughts things work out for you! :)

[netglow, ASN, RN]

imalilteapott, steel yourself girl! and do just exactly what you stated you will do. Nothing more, nothing less. Accept your new old job and let them know you need two weeks. Work out your two weeks and blow.

No more conversation on the matter at the old job. Write down every word said to this point, date/time and who said what and where and who was there. If you are harassed any more, it may be time for a real nasty nastygram from legal counsel.

Let it be written. So it shall be done!

[netglow, ASN, RN]

yedwards42, this is your future. Nursing is all this all too often these days. Keep reading, you will read many more threads like this one. I'll add this, you think you could work in ICU with this kind of stress? and your patients lives on the edge. Get ready, 'cause too many times these days it goes down just exactly like this.

[leslie :-D]

if that happened to me, i would call dept of labor and seek advice.

you needn't give your name or your employer's name, but i do know they have helped me out before.

if their actions become extreme, i might even consider consulting a lawyer...

because this is bs.

still...i do know that employers can try and wreak havoc on your life.

yes - document everything and continue to do so.

names, conversations, dates, times, etc.

just to cya, i wouldn't walk out without completing what you promised.

(in the end, it just makes you look better than these idiots.)

whether your return to your old job, i cannot advise you there.

perhaps per diem/part time elsewhere, will accommodate your needs better now?

good luck to you, and let us know how it works out.

leslie

[SuzieVN]

Hi imaliteapott,

I'm not a nurse, though I've been in healthcare 16 years (Senior Analyst in Finance). I resigned from my job as Sr. Analyst about a year ago to take some prereq's and apply to Samuel Merritt University's ABSN program Summer 2013 (and just found out I was accepted). For reference, I already have a Bachelor's in Health Science and minor in Business. I read your post, and was appalled at the responses you are receiving from your current managment and job! I know there are a lot of politics and red tape in healthcare (and really in any industry) though I find the comments/responses you're received unprofessional, unethical and plain rude!

What I would do in this situation, is document (and keep everything) that you've discussed, heard and received from all parties. To me the responses you've received say "they value your work tremendously" however, their actions and promises to you along the way have shown otherwise. They would be at a loss without you, though their comments are strikingly threatening and unprofessional/unethical. Going to HR could backfire, as I know I had an issue at one hospital I worked (my manager was having an affair with another lady in our office) and things got worse for me in my office! So while HR is supposedly to help, I think they tend to side with management when possible (atleast in my case and in what I've seen at a few hospitals I've worked). Maybe, there is someone in HR or someone else though you can trust to help? Are you a part of a union? Overall, for me I'd eagerly accept the offer to return to your former job as you would be happier with your hours, working conditions and general appreciation! I would try to finish up my last days at the current job (be as pleasant as possible) and move forward.

I'm thinking good thoughts things work out for you! :)

Good advice, documentation- I was fired once, myself (well, a few times, really) even though the evaluations were not only stellar, but consistently stellar. I used them to gain an 'unjustified termination' decision from unemployment- only to be able to state that the reason they fired me didn't gel. The job was nasty, anyway.

[yedwards42, BSN, MSN]

Hi netglow - I'm unsure what you mean pertaining to what I said? I'm not a nurse, I'm not a lawyer though have worked in Finance and a year in HR. What I will say, is while HR tries to be the "middleman" between employees and managment, I've seen them side with management when they are in fact in the wrong (illegal, unethical, etc.). For me, I'd never work in a job (for long) where my health, stress, sanity and happiness are suffering. Life is too short. If my former job asked me to come back (and it was a good team and I was happy there) I would definitely go back. However, if there is a way to get this situation rectified with a trust-worthy person by all means, I agree. It may be a personal lawyer and not someone affiliated or working at the hospital. I've not found many instances in my one issue and other co-worker's where telling hospital management or HR worked. It backfired and then the "heat" was worse. For me, I found another job and resigned from the hospital. Consider all options, confide in those you trust completely, and document!!

[imalilteapott]

Thank you everyone. I have to admit it is going to be difficult to try and finish my last days. Before all of this drama I was pretty miserable at a baseline and thought I made a mistake by leaving my old job. I don't think I am going to be able to do it. I spoke to my sister in law- who is a lawyer and she said I should go to HR and hint that I had legal consul and just let them know what is happening on this floor, and tell them I felt threatened and I do not feel comfortable finishing work on that floor. I do think that is what I am going to do. I should also add that some of my health trouble is that Im pregnant- so she said that I should repeat some of sexist things that were said to me like when my boss stated "If you want to just stay at home I can't stop you."

I feel like no nurse should be treated this way. I understand it stinks for a hospital when staff leaves after a short time but they shouldn't have this reaction. The working conditions were poor as I said- the staff educator is a bully, poor scheduling, no vacation, ridiculous work rules.... they made no attempt to fix them. If staff leaves in a at-will- state its really none of there business why. I have a feeling I am on the do not re-hire list anyway for leaving at 6 months. So I may as well let the hospital know what their management is doing and saying so at least other nurses may not have to deal with it in the future.

[MN-Nurse, ASN, RN]

You're already out of it. Got a new gig and everything. Keep going.

With respect to the predictions of doom from HR, it is total BS. The HR/management drones giving you the apocalyptic scenario are going to quit or get fired eventually - and in that environment sooner than later.

The employment pendulum is going swing the other way again and the new HR/management drones will be hiring recruiting agencies who will be ringing your phone off the hook. At which time you may politely tell them to perform impossible anatomical feats with their pleas.

It is a huge game and the people playing don't understand they are rats in a big maze with no comprehension of how small their lives and existences are.

[Marshall1]

I'm in the minority here but if I were as uncomfortable as you say you are, if my "red flags" were up as it seems yours are and comments that ranged from trying to make me feel guilty to somehow worthless because I was putting family ahead of a job then no, I would not work out the rest of the schedule..and here's why..first, they did not hold up anything they promised you, secondly the comments they have made are unprofessional and insensitive, third, if they are acting/talking like this what is to say if something happens to one of your patients - even something minor as a missed med - won't end up being made into a huge deal? You have another job, you have a start date so why use the time between now and when that job starts wasted on this lousy employer? Yes, there is something to be said for professionalism but professionalism works both ways and if there is one thing I have learned is to never ignore my gut feeling or red flags. Every time I have I've regretted it. Good luck and whatever you decide am glad you are not going to continue working for that facility.