With any process which has been witnessed a vast number of times, we can factor in typical variables and foresee the probable probable outcomes.
So it is with responses on this well-trafficked forum. Through the years, it has been noted that numerous thread topics repetitively recycle, as do the responses.
Here's a few examples of situations and responses:
Personality problem with a patient and/or family member? "They're just being jerks, you're good, they're bad, just apathetically have empathy for them and remember to CYA by objectively charting that they were acting like jerks."
Problem with your job? "Quit ASAP and have another one lined up, but don't burn any bridges, because that might come back to bite you in the butt."
Problem with a coworker? "Confront that coworker by ignoring them, and report their behavior to the manager, but don't be a tattletale because nobody likes a tattletale."
Problem with a superior? "Report them to HR who won't do anything about it because they're on administration's side, so see Problems with your job?"
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, Davey Do said:
Problem with your job? "Quit ASAP and have another one lined up, but don't burn any bridges, because that might come back to bite you in the butt."
"I also want to add that I have never had a problem like you have with your job, nor have I ever quit a job or burned any bridges, have no empirical knowledge in this area, but I know that it might come back to bite you in the butt because it is, unlike any one else's, my opinion is based on my fears, or my False Expectations Appearing Real.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Still yet another type of recycled response occurs when a new nurse/member requests guidance:
What should I do? "I will tell you in great detail what I did (blah, blah blah, on & on), so if you want to be like me (which I'm sure you do), you'll follow my directions to a T. By me telling you how I would handle this situation, I benefit by elevating my low self-esteem."
By me telling you how I would handle this situation, I benefit by elevating my low self-esteem."
But isn't that what the poster in your example asked for? So is it the act of answering that reflects the low self-esteem or the verbosity of the answer?
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, Davey Do said:
Another example of recycled responses is for a member to answer a question with a passively aggressive loaded question.
In a discussion or a debate process one who challenges a statement's premise will use passively aggressive loaded questioning at a powerplay ploy in which to get the upper hand.
This line of questioning works, for one reason, because it gets the author of the premise on the defensive. First the author feels a need to answer the question which gives the challenger a sense of power. Next, the author usually reinstates the premise, typically with additional information, and must await the challenger's response. The challenger has the ball in their court and is in control; has the power.
A more prudent method in attacking a premise is to restate that premise, showing a mutual understanding of the subject at hand. Then, a counter premise is stated, using facts and evidence that will negate the original premise.
When one of my premises is appropriately challenged, I will restate and counter the challenged premise. Ninety nine per cent of the time, the discussion or debate from the challenger will cease.
I say 99% of the time because recently, @Kitiger, factually challenged a premise of mine. Checkmate! Kitiger bested me and I graciously handed over my sword.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Passive-aggressive questions aren't realized in debates and discussions because they are accepted merely as questions.
They are ubiquitously unbenevolent, yet routinely accepted, because they are insidious; subtle, yet harmful- to the discussion or debate.
As mentioned earlier, passive-aggressively loaded questions often get the author of the premise on the defensive. This feeling of defensiveness is often felt emotionally. The discussion is no longer based on facts, it is based on emotions.
Once emotions enter a discussion or debate, logic often goes out the window, and it's anyone's guess where it will lead. That is one reason why there often are heated, dramatic threads. Someone feels personally attacked and they flail out. Bashing and pecking parties ensue.
Yeah, so all I wanted to know was what part of answering an OP's question you consider self-serving, the answering or the personal story leading up to the answer. Not at all sure how we got here but here we are.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Okay, here is an example of a benign passively aggressively loaded question that shouldn't have any negative ramifications:
My medical nurse wife Belinda will ask me, "Do you want to go shopping at Walmart with me?" I respond, lovingly, "Hell no, I don't want want to go shopping at Walmart, even with you!" She then rephrases her question with, "WILL you go shopping at Walmart with me?" and I answer, "Sure".
Belinda's passive-aggressive loaded question will have me answer yes or no, in that if I say yes, it means I WANT to go shopping, which I don't. If I say no, she could take it as I don't want to be with HER.
Belinda doesn't realize that her questions are passively-aggressively loaded and any response could elicit emotions.
While I realize this is a trite example, when I see such questions used in a thread, there's likely to be subsequent negative posts.
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
In a family relationship, if I am bullying a bully, does that make me a bully once removed?
Or is bullying more of an Algebraic situation, that when a bully bullies a bully, it equals a positive?