Relationships with Doctors

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I work in a teaching hospital and it seems for the most part nurses can talk to doctors without being yelled at on a medical-surgical floor. Surgery Service are still the grumpy ones. I'm wondering how this goes for other hospitals. Especially, since I'm developing on a ballooning crush on one of the residents. It seems to me that nurses and doctors keep to their own cliches and have tasks that create different perspectives.

Specializes in Hospice.

I have a couple nurses at work that are married to drs. but its not the romantic story you would think, of those in nursing school that married doctors they had met them outside of work.

I have never been treated disrespectfully by a dr and if i was on a regular basis i would file a complaint......that kind of thing is just not tolerated in my town. i have been in several hospitals and never seen that behavior except on one floor and they were working on getting that one particular dr. issue fixed.

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Doyou socialise with your PCT outside of work?It's the same for other groups. Except it was a previous friendship or something solid, everyone keeps to their cliques.

You don't want excessive familiarity ruining a good working relationship. Be social but every one keep to your group( for want of a better word)

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Specializes in cardiac, ICU, education.

A lot of people meet their spouses at work. Unlike some of the comments on this thread, I have been happily married for 15 years to a doc I met at work when he was in residency. In fact, 5 out of the 11 docs in his group now are married to nurses, one is married to another physician, and one is married to a PT.

Just be careful like with any other relationship but realize residents (I find the term baby docs very insulting since they already have their license) have a lot less time than even staff physicians so make sure you have your own life too.

Also, the surgeons are crabby because they get the least amount of sleep and seem to have the most stress. It is a good way to tell what they are really like, however. If they are tired and crabby at work all the time, chances they are the same way outside the hospital. It takes a very patient person to be married to a surgeon.

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Specializes in ICU, ER.

This is the first time I have heard the term 'babydoc'. I can agree that it could be seen as demeaning; however, it is the most accurate descriptor of emotional state that I have ever heard.

Perhaps a more palatable term would be "emotional delay disorder" or EDD for short.

As for approaching the resident for romance... Ask yourself this: Do I want to date someone or raise someone? They may seem brilliant, charming and handsome... but there is a little underlying EDD in them all.

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This is the first time I have heard the term 'babydoc'. I can agree that it could be seen as demeaning; however, it is the most accurate descriptor of emotional state that I have ever heard.

Perhaps a more palatable term would be "emotional delay disorder" or EDD for short.

As for approaching the resident for romance... Ask yourself this: Do I want to date someone or raise someone? They may seem brilliant, charming and handsome... but there is a little underlying EDD in them all.

Did I did read this correctly?An "emotional delay disorder" for a resident who may not neccessaril inclined to be in a relationship?Fascinating.

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I find it interesting that so many professionals on this website are more than willing to generalize an entire group of other professionals working in the same field. Or anyone at all. Doctors are not emotionally stunted. The ones who went straight from high school into pre-med and then straight into medical school may possibly not have a lot of experience when it comes to dating relationships, and some may have different emotional maturity levels than other people their age, but I have to say that medical school is an INCREDIBLY emotional ride. Many med school students have had/are in committed relationships and are very well-rounded people who work hard.

It degrades all nurses when some of us get online and start insulting and assuming awful things about another profession and calling them all immature and emotionally delayed. There are many wonderful doctors out there who make wonderful partners.

I agree with the people in this thread who made statements without insulting anyone...if you work together/in the same area of the hospital I would be much more worried! And residents have INCREDIBLY busy lives until they finish (and many afterwards too), so the amount of time he may be able to spend with you could be very limited. But honestly? Say hello. Sit together if you want, do whatever you like- find out if there's a connection there or if you guys end up liking each other! Take it slow, DO NOT sleep with him right away for god's sake and just take it as it comes :)

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Personally, I've seen some residents lose respect for nurses because they are being chased around by one or two MD-crazed RN's. They start getting silly pages and whenever they sit down to chart some airhead will give them the third degree about girlfriends, personal life, etc. These nurses seem to forget that residents are usually busy and tired (especially surgeons!) and not interested in small talk. After a few weeks of being hounded by some bobblehead with a nursing license they begin to generalize to all nurses.

It's one thing to meet outside of work and form a connection. But pursuit within the hospital is extremely unprofessional, IMHO.

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Specializes in ICU./CCU/SICU.

I'd like to know which hospital you work at.. where there are cute/handsome residents with pleasant attitudes, who you'd WANT to have any contact with outside the hospital..maybe I should apply there...

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

The small community hospital where I first worked as a nurse, the doctors were definitely treated as higher up in the hierarchy. Many insisted on being called DOCTOR so-and-so, and there was not a lot of fraternizing.

Where I work now, a university teaching hospital, it is much more of a peer relationship with a lot of collegiality. Probably because the nurses see the doctors "grow up" as wet-behind-the-ears interns who don't know what the hell they're doing, and the nurses will often tell the interns what to do (or what should be done). Almost all the doctors are on a first-name basis (the exception being a few older, high ranking attendings).

That said, get over your crush. Nothing good can happen of it.

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Specializes in ICU, ER.
Did I did read this correctly?An "emotional delay disorder" for a resident who may not neccessaril inclined to be in a relationship?Fascinating.

Please.... this was just a joke. I made up the term EDD off the top of my head. Honestly, nurses have multiple "funny names" for silly phenomenon. LOL, GOMER, and KKFCCP and the like. All of us could write a laundry list.

I come to allnurses.com to fellowship with nurses from across the many nations about silly, idiosyncratic questions and events. It adds a little levity to my day, a huge break from the death, human tragedy and the insidious incremental depletion of my faith in all that is good in this world.

My intention was not to offend. It was to amuse.

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A lot of people meet their spouses at work. Unlike some of the comments on this thread, I have been happily married for 15 years to a doc I met at work when he was in residency. In fact, 5 out of the 11 docs in his group now are married to nurses, one is married to another physician, and one is married to a PT.

Just be careful like with any other relationship but realize residents (I find the term baby docs very insulting since they already have their license) have a lot less time than even staff physicians so make sure you have your own life too.

Also, the surgeons are crabby because they get the least amount of sleep and seem to have the most stress. It is a good way to tell what they are really like, however. If they are tired and crabby at work all the time, chances they are the same way outside the hospital. It takes a very patient person to be married to a surgeon.

I love what you just said! As somebody who has been dating for a while, the best advice I ever got was from my mom who said that a person's work ethic says a lot about their values in life.

The small community hospital where I first worked as a nurse, the doctors were definitely treated as higher up in the hierarchy. Many insisted on being called DOCTOR so-and-so, and there was not a lot of fraternizing.

Where I work now, a university teaching hospital, it is much more of a peer relationship with a lot of collegiality. Probably because the nurses see the doctors "grow up" as wet-behind-the-ears interns who don't know what the hell they're doing, and the nurses will often tell the interns what to do (or what should be done). Almost all the doctors are on a first-name basis (the exception being a few older, high ranking attendings).

That said, get over your crush. Nothing good can happen of it.

It's nice to have a crush once in a while. It's a reason to smile all throughout a crappy shift but yes, I agree. Always be a professional.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

Yes, you're right. I should have said "Do not act upon your crush."

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