Really disappointed with the reality of nursing.

bustthewave · Nov 6, 2010

So I know this thread has gone on and one, and i'm not trying to add something not meaningful here buuut-

I'm going into my CNA clinicals for my pre-nursing right now, and I will hopefully be a nurse in three years so I am speaking from no personal experience as an actual nurse however-

all of these issues seem like basic life issues. In every job I've had, retail, food, pharmacy work... vet tech... I get the same ammount of abuse in different ways. Sure more is at stake by a long shot as a nurse, but it feels the same ammount defeating when your boss, whome you thought was an ally, turned out to backstab you. Or a patient/client/custommer, who you thought you had a repoir with, turns out to hate you. Or you get yelled at for trying to help because of things out of your control.

I've never had a job where I haven't found these things in abundance. Am I missing a big chunk here or isn't this just the way life is?

I've learned to try and latch onto meaningful things in my job, the times I do it well and make someone's life better, or day better.

Is nursing really worse than low wage jobs in the respect department? Cause that's just plain scary if it is.

pageygirl · Nov 7, 2010

well I have done many jobs in my life went into nursing later in life late 30s for nursing school early 40s once finished. I will agree I have never been so screamed at in my life as while working as a nurse, most of the time about 99% it isnt something that I had done or even something that I had control of. I try and focus on the patients and less on the families there are some bullies out there. I will admit that I say a prayer every morning on the elevator on the way up to the floor to have the strength to handle whatever happens and to have no "drama" with family it helps.... One of the things that makes me not so sure how long I will stay on the floor in hospital nursing.... Just take it one day at a time thats all we can do and if a family is really too bad,,,, I ask to give them up after 8 hours on a 12 hour shift if I can do it...

annlewis · Nov 7, 2010

wow, families are generally very sweet to us in LTC, they even help out sometimes with toileting and feeding,

makes want to stay and never do hospital nursing

drck02 · Nov 12, 2010

Unfortunately family members don't see the other sides of the picture.They just expect the nurses who they see walking and running around the unit to wait on them hand and foot.Its hard I know I have felt like this I have had family members tell me that they used to be a nurse and everything I did, I did wrong!Its so disheartening to be treated this way Keep your chin up and remember why you became a nurse!

yeah right. im a student nurse. we had our duty in pedia ward. unfortunately, my groupmate's patient is having on and off fever so they do what should be done for that case. but the patient's mother didn't see it that way. She said that we(student nurses) are just experimenting in her child. :mad:

Fiona59 · Nov 12, 2010

wow, families are generally very sweet to us in LTC, they even help out sometimes with toileting and feeding,
makes want to stay and never do hospital nursing

This is so NOT the norm in LTC. I've worked in three and it's been the very rare, rare event when a family member does anything for their elder.

steelydanfan · Nov 15, 2010

Unfortunately, in today's "healthcare" compromised world, families may also be watching their family member (patient) like a hawk because they feel they really have to. As a home health nurse (7 years) I heard way too many true stories about unprofessional and actually, dangerous, care experienced by people in the hospital. You might try complimenting the family for being such a good advocate for their family member. Ask the family and the patient how you can make them feel more secure while you are in the room. Then realistically let them know what and how you are able to meet their requests. Acknowledge their frustrations and fears without adding to them. Always talk to the patient first, as the patient is THE person you need to have the best communication with. Tell them what and how you are going to do what you have to do.
It is very hard to set aside your own personal needs while being a nurse. Even though it may be true that you are understaffed, overworked, under appreciated, or not supported by other staff members....you are still able to go home at the end of the day and the patient is not. Nursing is a supreme service, and in this time of scarier medical issues, and less time for comfort measures for patients (nurses don't have the time to really listen to patients like we used to do when we gave bed baths in the old days), people are on edge for all sorts of reasons.
Many nurses come into the room with chips on their shoulders, or battle wounds, from what has just happened with their previous patients. It is really not up to the patient to make the nurse feel better, and most barely have the energy to deal with what is going on in their lives. They have a huge level of fear and vulnerability which can bring out the worst in them. This does not excuse rudeness or the increased level of "entitlement disease" that is expressed by both patients and family members, but it does explain the context of how they behave.
There is no easy solution to your situation. Nursing is a very, very hard job. Period. And the behavior of fellow nurses and management doesn't help with the situation most of the time.
I offer the four agreements (from the book of the same name) as a plan for you.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.

As a home health nurse, you "hear alot of true stories from families". That does not mean that all, or possibly most; ARE true. Families are notorious for saying whatever they think the newest nurse should hear to get what they want. Most families are not in the room to "watch out for problems", they wouldn't know a medical problem if it hit them in the face. They are there to make a point, to intimidate the staff, to prevent some percieved "slight" that might happen if they don't show solidarity. This usually happens with uninsured pt.s, as a way to prevent second level care "because wer'e poor". Your platitudes and recommendations for nurses "entering a pt.'s room" are both condesending and insulting. Our attitudes are generally not the problem, it's the know-it-all families who want to run the show despite best practice that are the REAL problems. We already are there for our pt's, it's the rude, bullying families, no matter how well intentioned, that hamper care. Very few nurses will enter a room cheerfully when they are fully cognizant of the abuse they face.

And I don't understand how you separate "entitlement disease" from rudeness. Even the poorest pt.s I have encountered feel that they are entitled to everything , and they have no qualms about calling me "*****".

Yes, by all means rise above it. Do it 27 times a day, and 1. Don't take anything personally. 2. Don't make assumptions.

Get a reality check, plaudit meister. Or better yet, come shadow me for a day.

Juneaz61 · Nov 20, 2010

Thank you Nurse Frustrated. I was so glad to read this. I am a new grad and have only been working for two months yet I am already sooooo very disappointed and discouraged! I work on a med/surg unit and it is crazy!! The fastest paced unit in the hospital. I am so stressed out every day because it is virtually impossible to do all the required charting, admits, etc. let alone take care of the patients (which should be the priority). This is a second career (I'm 44) and I made quite a few significant changes and sacrifices in my life because I thought this career would be challenging and rewarding. So far I haven't felt rewarded at all and my "challenges" are more like buckets of stress due to the huge amounts of required charting. I am really shocked at how little time I (actually all the nurses on our unit) have to actually care for our patients and nurses are constantly transferring off the unit. I dread going to work and usually cry on the drive home. I am still with a preceptor but she doesn't help much. Usually off somewhere else. I could go on and on. Just afraid I sacrificed sooo much and made a big mistake. Will it get better? I have read all the posts and do feel better that I am not alone in my feelings. BUT....on the other hand, don't feel better knowing that this may just be something I have to accept. I have already decided I will try to transfer to a different unit after my 6 month period on the unit. I have a contract with the hospital for 2 years (Iam grateful for having a job!:)) so I don't have a choice to elsewhere at this time. I know for sure I will get out of hospital nursing as soon as my contract is up. Are there other nursing areas that are not so crazy and where the patient actually comes first? Anyway, thanks for your post. I can really relate to it and hope things get better for you!

Leelee2 · Nov 20, 2010

Anyone else feel the same?
Families sit in the room watching you like a hawk assuming you are going to hurt their family member. Griping because you have to turn people with skin issues or check for incontinence. Griping because you have to change an IV. The other day I had a family member sitting there watching me like a hawk as I had to change the patient's IV. Mind you the patient was an obese lady with huge arms and had had to have deep lines in the past. She said to me very rudely, "You get ONE stick, then somebody else is gonna do it." Then proceeded to stand and watch me with her arms folded across her chest. Excuse me, since when does the family dictate my job? That really burnt me up. .

While I can relate to a lot in the opening post, the above portion really burnt me up!!.

I can tell you as a nurse, and as a patient, that when I am in the hospital or one of my family members is...I am the one watching others like a hawk. If you are confident, and competent, that shouldn't be a problem!!

In this profession, mistakes happen, I get that, we are all human. However, due diligence from a patient, or from family should not be frowned upon, but respected. When do patients or family members dictate your job? Everyday. It is called patients rights, as a nurse and as a patient, those rights should be respected. Family members sometimes need to speak up and be the advocate for their loved one, that should also be respected.

The last time my father was in the hospital with a severe obstruction, staff came in the room to get him "out of bed, get him on the treadmill for a stress test"...umm, not happening, please recheck the order! Then all we got was a "ohh yeah, i guess your right." I am giving just one example, could post many more. Mistakes happen, being diligent (patients and family members) helps prevent them.

sydneymum14 · Nov 20, 2010

Hey try community nursing. No stress in my job.

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2010

Thank you Nurse Frustrated. I was so glad to read this. I am a new grad and have only been working for two months yet I am already sooooo very disappointed and discouraged! I work on a med/surg unit and it is crazy!! The fastest paced unit in the hospital. I am so stressed out every day because it is virtually impossible to do all the required charting, admits, etc. let alone take care of the patients (which should be the priority). This is a second career (I'm 44) and I made quite a few significant changes and sacrifices in my life because I thought this career would be challenging and rewarding. So far I haven't felt rewarded at all and my "challenges" are more like buckets of stress due to the huge amounts of required charting. I am really shocked at how little time I (actually all the nurses on our unit) have to actually care for our patients and nurses are constantly transferring off the unit. I dread going to work and usually cry on the drive home. I am still with a preceptor but she doesn't help much. Usually off somewhere else. I could go on and on. Just afraid I sacrificed sooo much and made a big mistake. Will it get better? I have read all the posts and do feel better that I am not alone in my feelings. BUT....on the other hand, don't feel better knowing that this may just be something I have to accept. I have already decided I will try to transfer to a different unit after my 6 month period on the unit. I have a contract with the hospital for 2 years (Iam grateful for having a job!:)) so I don't have a choice to elsewhere at this time. I know for sure I will get out of hospital nursing as soon as my contract is up. Are there other nursing areas that are not so crazy and where the patient actually comes first? Anyway, thanks for your post. I can really relate to it and hope things get better for you!

Try to stick out for at least 6 months on the med/surg ward. Good time magement is the key in busy hospitals. To make things easier, try to have a plan to follow everyday & stick to it. Also try to see ur work as a challenge, that helps me. If u feel guilty re not spending time with the patients, tell them the reason/s why, ie: extra charting, not enough nurses, etc. I also tell families & patients who c/o not being able to spend time with their nurse to complain to the NM or hospital admin.

Can u talk to ur preceptor or NM re extra charting? Is it really necessary? I refuse to double chart anymore - it wastes too much time. And if a nurse/Dr can't read one chart for a result, but has to read 2 that are the same, there is something wrong with them. For example, with our neuro obs, we only put them on the neuro obs chart and chart the normal obs on that same chart. Normal obs are not transcribed onto the usual obs chart. I don't see the point in re-charting the same thing again! (Don't know re computer charting).

If u can get a handle of a busy ward, it will stand u in good stead for other jobs. I'm near ur age & though this isn't my 2nd career, I am finding it harder as I get older. Maybe u could go 2 an agency later on then u can choose what days/hours u want to work. What abourt working as a practice nurse? Most areas of hospital nursing are stressful (actually I haven't heard of one that isn't). My gf does community nursing and she says that is stressful too.

Hope it all gets better for you.

annlewis · Nov 22, 2010

I thought she made a good point when she reminded us that the patients do have alot of fear while in the hospital and some express that fear with bad behavior....we take the brunt of that, but our attitude and actions speak louder than words, we can either react with our own bad behavior or try to disperse their fear...sometimes it works sometimes it does not...I have seen nurses who have a chip on their shoulder and bad attitudes...we must try to strive for positive thoughts and actions at all times because this can produce positiveness in others.

As a home health nurse, you "hear alot of true stories from families". That does not mean that all, or possibly most; ARE true. Families are notorious for saying whatever they think the newest nurse should hear to get what they want. Most families are not in the room to "watch out for problems", they wouldn't know a medical problem if it hit them in the face. They are there to make a point, to intimidate the staff, to prevent some percieved "slight" that might happen if they don't show solidarity. This usually happens with uninsured pt.s, as a way to prevent second level care "because wer'e poor". Your platitudes and recommendations for nurses "entering a pt.'s room" are both condesending and insulting. Our attitudes are generally not the problem, it's the know-it-all families who want to run the show despite best practice that are the REAL problems. We already are there for our pt's, it's the rude, bullying families, no matter how well intentioned, that hamper care. Very few nurses will enter a room cheerfully when they are fully cognizant of the abuse they face.
And I don't understand how you separate "entitlement disease" from rudeness. Even the poorest pt.s I have encountered feel that they are entitled to everything , and they have no qualms about calling me "*****".
Yes, by all means rise above it. Do it 27 times a day, and 1. Don't take anything personally. 2. Don't make assumptions.
Get a reality check, plaudit meister. Or better yet, come shadow me for a day.

allnurses Guide · Nov 23, 2010

I thought she made a good point when she reminded us that the patients do have alot of fear while in the hospital and some express that fear with bad behavior....we take the brunt of that, but our attitude and actions speak louder than words, we can either react with our own bad behavior or try to disperse their fear...sometimes it works sometimes it does not...I have seen nurses who have a chip on their shoulder and bad attitudes...we must try to strive for positive thoughts and actions at all times because this can produce positiveness in others.

The reason comments like that irritate people is surprisingly simple! In fact, a really efficient response to it could be reduced to a three letter word if one were in a hurry and had no problem being as direct as a 15 year old might be in a similar situation.

That you feel it necessary to point that out indicates your belief that the message might come as a surprise to many nurses who've actually been doing the job for years.