Ready to start a family, 35, and in nursing school...

Constantly Surprised · Nov 19, 2011

The real question revolves around priorities.

Which is more important to you at this point in your life; career or starting a family? Everyone is different, so I can't offer up an advice in so far as "what I would do" because I'm not you.

What really matters is what is most important to fulfilling you and your life.

Al.ginger · Nov 19, 2011

I feel like the most important thing is finishing your NS and getting RN. After that you can take your time and go to BSN/grad school and their are very flexible.

My personal plan is have another baby after I finish my NS (I'm finishing first semester right now) and take my time for BSN and grad school

The only difference is that I already have one kid and I'm 23.

I cannot really judge the situation from you point of veiw, just sharing my plan

Piggles · Nov 19, 2011

Thanks for the comments. I would say that career and family are equally important. I just feel under a pressure to get started on the family thing because of my age. But I think you make a great point Ginger, that NS needs to get out of the way as it is just not flexible at all. I keep vacillating on the issue.

spore2008 · Nov 20, 2011

Piggles, I am in a similar situation. I did not get married until 32 because I was busy finishing up graduate school. Then I started my postdoctoral fellowship. Well, that career is not meant to be. Now, I am starting nursing school in January and I am 35. The years keep rolling and rolling.

We decided to start trying soon. If we are lucky to conceive, I will put nursing school on hold for a semester. There are no more years left to squander. And, honestly, though a career in nursing is something I desire, I sincerely want a family more.

This is an intensely personal decision. Strangers on the internet may provide you with solace or, alternatively, whip you up a sticky guilt trip.

Wave Watcher · Nov 20, 2011

Wait to have the baby. If you take off "a couple" semesters then you will have forgotten half of what you learned. You really need to do NS all at once without taking semesters off in between if possible.

Many women are having babies into their 40's. Unless you are having medical issues that would push you to start a family now I would consider waiting till you finish school. JMO.

Either way I wish you the very best!!

crittytn · Nov 20, 2011

I was pregnant my last semester in law school and I was 24 at the time. It was doable, because there were no other kids at home, but boy, you can't shake a stick at that tiredness the first 6 weeks to 12 weeks and feeling sick. No matter how organized you are, that hits hard as a rock for sure.

I'm not trying to be discouraging, but just to prepare you for what you face as you plan things. It's very difficult to predict how your body will react to pregnancy, of course, but most everyone for sure gets blindsided by the extreme fatigue at the beginning--even when they expect it, as I did with my 2nd and 3rd!

It is just weighing your priority in timing these major life issues. Just do the research and maybe try to find some other stories of people doing school while pregnant and how they felt. And just be prepared in the event you aren't one of the ones that's able to persevere through the pregnancy. I've known people that could work up until delivery day and be back at work in a week. And I've known people who could hardly do anything at all the whole pregnancy and for a while after delivery. However, most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Good luck to you no matter how the choice goes, though! It's smart to be thinking these things through now, really. I didn't do that myself. LOL So I'm always appreciative of those that think of those things ahead of time!

VolunteerCPR · Nov 20, 2011

You can take a semester off if you want, that's what I'm planning to do. (3rd semester). If you tried & conceived right away you'd be due in late Aug/early Sept. Your job will be there your entire life, your fertility won't. This is my 3rd, so I know what to expect. I agree with the above post that the first few months you are REALLY TIRED, but you'll have motivation to keep going.

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2011

I'm sorry to say this but I don't think you can say what is more of a priority for you until you ahve children. Having children will change your life. It may not be as easy as you think to just leave your newborn for full-time school. The level of time dedicated to your new baby is going to be much more then I think you realize. If you want realistic advice you need to wait until you're done with school. You say time is of teh essence but school is 2 years long if you've already waited whats the rush now. You also can't know for sure what your b/f or spouse will act like because you don't know, you haven't had that experience yet. Even if he is as helpful as you believe he will be that doesn't mean after you give birth you'll just be able to hand that baby over and jump right back in.

dkmamato3 · Nov 20, 2011

This is one of those very personal decisions that is hard to advice on. You need to follow your heart and find the path that is right for you. There will always be pros and cons for going either way. Either way will take a lot of hard work but babies and a rewarding career are both worth all the hard work that comes along. Good luck to you:)

Piggles · Nov 22, 2011

I appreciate all of your comments so much. You have given me some things to think about that I never considered. I decided that I'm going to wait until nursing school is over.

Getting that acceptance letter last summer was such a big deal!

For all of these years I have been trying to figure out what to do with myself. I love working. I love being around people in all of these various professional interactions. I know that I will be a great nurse and get immense satisfaction knowing that I finally found my calling. I am going to give nursing school 100% and then if being a mommy is in my future I'll be ready for it later. I know that if my nursing plans were waylaid by circumstances I would always regret it.

michele742 · Nov 22, 2011

Well, I will tell you what my scenario was...in 2003 I graduated with my AA and applied to nursing school at 28yrs old (no children at the time). I got my first acceptance letter and at the same time found out I was pregnant (talk about timing!). It wasn't a big dilemma for me because my husband and I had been married already for 10 years (was married at 18), and with no children. I was a high risk pregnancy, and was on bed rest almost immediately. So, nursing school was not in the cards and I declined my seat.

Fast forward 8 years...and three children later (haha)...I have now applied again to nursing school to finish what I started. We put my husband through school during that time and he is ABD (all but dissertation for his PhD), has a full-time position in his field and I'm ready to take it on :) I have an almost 8yr old, 4yr old, and 2yr old. I am now 37.

Also, take into account that when you have your first baby, it's such as life changing event and if your like most new moms, your new little bundle will become your first love and everything else will seem not as significant :) New moms seem to put everything they have into their babies...you find yourself checking out the latest baby stuff instead of checking out the latest nursing stuff like you used to. That was definitely how it was for me, anyway. Good luck with whatever you choose. You seem very driven as you want your cake and to eat it too...nothing wrong with that! :)