Ready to start a family, 35, and in nursing school...

sandyfeet · Nov 22, 2011

I saw that you replied already, but I just wanted to add to the conversation because I am 32 and unmarried (living with my boyfriend). I can completely relate to the pressure you are feeling!

One of the top students in our class had to withdraw in the middle of the semester because she was pregnant. She had thought she could stay in class/clinical, but kept getting so sick she would be sent home. And now she has to wait until there is an opening for her to be allowed back into the program. Not at all how she thought it would turn out. So I was relieved to read that you decided to wait! Good luck with nursing school!

spore2008 · Nov 22, 2011

I am commenting again because I feel strongly about this. Women who become pregnant after age 35 are automatically in a high risk group. Down Syndrome cases rapidly increase in women who are over 35 and pregnant. Also, you do not know your fertility if it has not been tested (been pregnant previously). Fertility decreases with increasing maternal age. It can take months to get pregnant. For me, nursing school will be in the same location five years from now. My fertility very well may not be. As well, fertility help is quite expensive-IVF, if needed, can be 15K.

Again, this is a personal decision. But please don't take your fertility for granted.

allnurses Guide · Nov 23, 2011

I would never, ever, ever recommend anyone get pregnant during nursing school. Ever.

VolunteerCPR · Nov 23, 2011

I would never, ever, ever recommend anyone get pregnant during nursing school. Ever.

Nursing school will ALWAYS be there. You can be 30, 40, 50, 60 and go to nursing school. Taking a semester off is not the end of the world. On the other hand, you cannot have a baby at 40 without worrying about the 1:2 chance of Down's, or at 50, or at 60...

There's a difference in advice that should be given if a person is 21 in school wanting a baby, or 35+ wanting a baby in school.

allnurses Guide · Nov 23, 2011

The rigors of trying to do school when pregnant and/or with a newborn are the same regardless of age and if anything will be more difficult for someone who is older rather than younger. For the vast majority of people the two are incompatible. She asked for opinions, I stated mine. You are, of course, entitled to yours. :)

Piggles · Nov 26, 2011

Nursing school will ALWAYS be there. You can be 30, 40, 50, 60 and go to nursing school. Taking a semester off is not the end of the world. On the other hand, you cannot have a baby at 40 without worrying about the 1:2 chance of Down's, or at 50, or at 60...
There's a difference in advice that should be given if a person is 21 in school wanting a baby, or 35+ wanting a baby in school.

I think about these increased risks a lot too. I also worry about autism. It's such a sticky situation.

My partner and I always planned on not ever having children. Now were more mature, have a different perspective, and finally feel ready for it. I always felt that I would be OK not having children because I never wanted to bring any little ones into the world with out being able to provide the best possible environment. Well, now we feel that we can do that.

At this point we aren't trying but also not being very preventative. I appreciate your varied opinions and agree that nursing school is NOT the time to have kids. I'll update you guys if anything happens.

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Nov 27, 2011

Well, I will tell you what my scenario was...in 2003 I graduated with my AA and applied to nursing school at 28yrs old (no children at the time). I got my first acceptance letter and at the same time found out I was pregnant (talk about timing!). It wasn't a big dilemma for me because my husband and I had been married already for 10 years (was married at 18), and with no children. I was a high risk pregnancy, and was on bed rest almost immediately. So, nursing school was not in the cards and I declined my seat.
Fast forward 8 years...and three children later (haha)...I have now applied again to nursing school to finish what I started. We put my husband through school during that time and he is ABD (all but dissertation for his PhD), has a full-time position in his field and I'm ready to take it on :) I have an almost 8yr old, 4yr old, and 2yr old. I am now 37.
Also, take into account that when you have your first baby, it's such as life changing event and if your like most new moms, your new little bundle will become your first love and everything else will seem not as significant :) New moms seem to put everything they have into their babies...you find yourself checking out the latest baby stuff instead of checking out the latest nursing stuff like you used to. That was definitely how it was for me, anyway. Good luck with whatever you choose. You seem very driven as you want your cake and to eat it too...nothing wrong with that! :)

I just had to comment! I was in my last semester of pre-req's when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I had to decline my spot, which at that time a seat for the next year didn't seem difficult. You definately fall in love with your kids, I have two now. It is very hard to get back into focusing on school and I can't imagine doing it when they're newborn. Now my youngest is 3 and I'm finishing my 2nd semester of nursing school now :) Good Luck to you!

mtsteelhorse · Nov 28, 2011

I went to nursing school when my first was 9 months old. I wish I had done school first. But, I made it through. There was another student who was pregnant during the second year. She made it and graduated. Have you considered trying to conceive when you're in your final semester? I wish you luck in your decision. You can have it all! I had my first just shy of 36 and the next at 40. It's okay!