racist patients

jobellestarr · Sep 29, 2016

I kind of have a different take on asking people, nurses, etc., where they're from. I'm a white older woman and I am genuinely curious about cultures that I have not been exposed to. But I do preface my questions with "I hope you don't mind my asking". I had some wonderful discussions on planes, in hospital rooms, etc. The world is getting smaller and to me it's important to learn as much as I can about my fellow earth inhabitants. But to be rude and hurtful is another matter and that I won't tolerate. I have spoken up when patients say rude things to other staff, etc. I had a patient tell a Navajo nurse to go back to where she came from and I admit that I did somewhat gleefully tell him that she was Navajo and here first. To the OP: I am sorry that this happened to you and please don't take it personally. I hope for all of our sakes that the world is changing, surely but slowly.

moldyoldyrn · Sep 29, 2016

Some one please tell me why anyone, much less some one who may have to depend on you for their life, would talk to you that way. I will never understand this abusiveness that prevades the nursing profession. I have looked at patients who started that verbal abuse and confronted them nicely and said "I do not swear, cuss and call you names, how about you don't do it to me" and most of them back off, but it is hurtful and nasty and usually for no reason. But why they feel entitled to do it is really beyond me. You tell me your needs and I will do my best to meet them there is no need to be nasty. I will even ask you if I can touch you so you do not feel I am inappropriate. I am so sorry you face this abuse.

Rn 1979 · Sep 29, 2016

With all my respect to your opinion I believe YES this is 100 % racism case. I do respect this racist patient believes and emotions but if she was raped by someone like me as you are suggested she might just reject my care in the first night and she wont even let me touching her at all, I provided a 12 perfect care for this patient and when I left she said sorry I don't need foreigners or blacks to be my caregiver and another fact I would like to emphasis that I'm a US citizen like anyone else and I gained it by my hard work not by birth only so instead of labeling me you could just care about your health instead of labeling people left and right. Again I do respect all kind of thinking except of racism !!!!

First, if you are truly interested in taking care of this female patient then you will respect her belief, whether it is religious or personal.........Taking care of patients emotionally, spiritually, psychologically is just as important as physically........REMEMBER she is the patient and it is NOT about YOU, no matter if you don't like her beliefs or how much you disagree with her........On top of that, I personally do not consider what you experienced racism until you know all the facts......For example, this female patient may have been previously raped by a male or someone from your ethnic descent which makes her relive the event and feel vulnerable every time you take care of her........You should never jump to conclusions and label your patients without knowing the FACTS first.......!!!
FYI - You will also experience patients who do not want you to take care of them because you are male.......That is not sexism.........!!!! IT MORE ABOUT THE PATIENTS and less about you! You chose to be a nurse and part of the deal is respecting the wishes of your patients. In other words, not everyone thinks the same nor should you be judgemental of your patients and expect them to.

Yesutor · Sep 29, 2016

It's rather unfortunate

moldyoldyrn · Sep 29, 2016

Sorry to say but I disagree with you totally. Many patients use excuses they feel are more "credible" than one that is pure horse pucky. I have seen it too many times especially from little old ladies. They will say what they think is the most believable OR what they think you will buy into. I have had so many patients talk dirt about another nurse trying to get me to go along with them. I never would buy into it but sometimes when I asked a few probative questions I hit pay dirt so to speak and found the females really did not want a man doing "personal" things for them even though the male RN had always been respectful, preserved their dignity and did a good job. I also had men who refused care from male RNs so it goes along with the entire spectrum of race, ethnicity, sex, etc. Most of the guys I worked with were able to get around the discrimination after a while. I would go in with them if there was any question and we'd work on it. Some of our lols started asking for the guys because they did a nice job. One of my co-workers was a very dark skinned Nigerian native with a thick accent. He was schooled here in the States, working on a masters. He was a body builder and muscular. I heard complaints about him because he was "strong". Never bought it, never bought into it. I went with him all the time, teaming up and once people got used to him they were screaming for him. He always went the extra mile for patients. On the other hand if I yelled for him in a code situation he was there in a heart beat or faster. We had our jobs and we did them well, meshed with each other well.

LizziB · Sep 29, 2016

My question comes from a different angle - I am an older, red-headed, blue-eyed evening charge nurse in an area of Canada that, up until recently has been mainly rural and Caucasian, but we are close enough to the city that nurses and PSWs (personal support workers) commute from an area that is mostly immigrants from India. I was raised to be extremely upset at injustice and it frankly pi**es me off when residents (LTC) and family members treat these nurses, my friends, as anything less than my equal - and then think I'm going to agree with them because of my age and ethnicity.

Two extreme examples are: 1)I have had a family member that I thought was a lovely and funny gentleman, actually say to me "I'm going to tell you this, because unlike that thing at the desk, you can talk." (She had taken down the information perfectly correctly.) 2) I've had people on the phone ask to speak to someone that could talk properly and give them correct information - she already had - 3 times. And then there are the residents that make racists comments such as "why is everyone new that works here so dark" that I try to attribute to dementia.

Here in Canada we don't have the same issues with customer service surveys, but obviously you need to be polite. How do I let people know that this is unacceptable, without embarrassing my amazing coworkers and/or creating a scene and getting fired or arrested for trying to knock some sense into people?

allnurses Guide · Oct 1, 2016

A 92 year old severely contracted man still had a mind as sharp as a tack. He was so severely contracted he even had facial paralysis but you could still make out what he was saying. I was still in nursing school at the time so the racial break-in started early. He made some comment to me that was something like, "You people are really coming over from south of the boarder." I responded, "South of the boarder? What??" He said, "Don't like act you don't know what I'm talking about. Like you're not Mexican." Me: "Sir, I'm not Mexican. I'm not even Hispanic..." Him: "Yeah, right." I made the mistake of talking about it in our clinical debriefing and my instructor and class thought it was the funniest thing. Needless to say the rest of the semester I had nicknames to match my new found ethnicity.:)

This was about 20 years ago, I live in an area with many cultures: we had a tourist from back east somewhere, who looked up at my coworker and asked "and how long have you been here, my dear?" with a really condescending tone. I looked up at my friend, then back at the woman and said "oh yeah, she swam over with Cortez about 400 years ago".

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 1, 2016

This was about 20 years ago, I live in an area with many cultures: we had a tourist from back east somewhere, who looked up at my coworker and asked "and how long have you been here, my dear?" with a really condescending tone. I looked up at my friend, then back at the woman and said "oh yeah, she swam over with Cortez about 400 years ago".

That's funny! I had a Caucasian patient, very proud of his Italian ancestors. His mother, a tiny 97 year old who was sharp as a tack loved to tell stories about the Italian village she was born and raised in and coming to America with her tiny baby (my patient), One morning, my patient greeted morning rounds and the physician of Asian descent with "Chinka Chinka Chinka chink." He lay in bed, very proud of himself. I knew the physician in question was third generation.

"Shame on you, Henry!" I told him. "Dr. Hong is more American than you."

"What do you mean?"

"His parents and grandparents were born in this country. You weren't."

A very embarrassed patient apologized to the physician, and I never heard any such comments from him again.

K9lover, ASN, RN · Oct 1, 2016

Proud why? You, myself and everyone else did nothing on our end to earn anything. Skin color actually is a mere genetic trait which serves only to protect us from sunlight. It is actually hubris to claim pride over a trait you did nothing to earn. All my skin/eye color tell me is my ancestors came from a colder climate...racial pride does nothing to promote harmony.

Harveyslake · Oct 1, 2016

Had a patient recently demand no blacks, Asians, Indians or men take care of them. It was the middle of the night when they were admitted. All of the nurses came into the patients room to help settle the patient. We were all black, Asian, Indian, or male. Explained the situation to the patient and asked her to choose. No other nurses in the whole hospital qualified to care for her. She simply smiled and said nevemind. Didn't have another issue with her. Score one for the nurses!!!

gigi_bsn_rn, BSN, RN · Oct 2, 2016

I think it's wrong to give in to BS. My favorite is when females don't want male nurses. Not talking about religious/cultural reasons, just run of the mill idiots. I will NOT change assignments once the shift has started! I also hate when my male co-workers ask me to bedpan, Foley, whatever their female pt. Really! When I've seen more male crotch than a hooker!

moldyoldyrn · Oct 2, 2016

In the case of a male RN who has an "idiot" that does not want a male to do things of a personal nature I agree that I would not do the task for them but I will stand by for them so that there is no suggestion of inappropriate behavior on the part of the RN. Just makes sense not to invite trouble and there are plenty of people out there who have $$$$ in the eyes and are waiting for a chance to sue someone. Would never want one of my male coworkers put in that position. I would make the time to stand in with them. In all my years I never had a male RN ask me to do anything for them, only with them. Big difference. Besides, when we had men who tried to hit on me or hit me my male coworkers always stood by with me. The important thing is that we accomplished things together. I think that the general population is now used to men being caregivers, they let male doctors to whatever! To me, and this may be my personal prejudice, if you are sick enough and need help it does not matter who walks through the door to help you. You will take the help from who ever arrives.