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"That's why I don't like working with women"

Posted

Has 25 years experience.

You know, I've lost count of the number of times I've read this comment (just read it a few times in another thread).

What I don't get is most of the people (if not all) who write this are women themselves. Does this mean that the women who write this comment are better than all other women? Does this mean that if they were in charge, the other women they work with wouldn't want to work with them?

I know that these forums encourage complaints and that sometimes we write things we don't really think, but this comment is way too common and is said out loud.

You know what is going to solve this problem? If we stop blaming difficult work conditions on "working with women" and blame it on what it is: working with difficult people. I've worked with both men and women. Some great people in both groups and some horrid people in both groups.

I believe that some people should grow up and stop blaming "working with women" as the root of all problems in nursing. Sheesh.

But Clemm, don't you REALIZE that women are mealy-mouthed, backstabbing, passive-aggressive manipulators? All they do is talk about clothes and men and plot how to control the people around them. No man has ever been manipulative or less-than-straightforward and it's just such a shame that the species isn't 100% male.

You know, I'm a straight-talking, no-nonsense, no-gossiping kind of gal and in my purty little head this is the same as being MASCULINE. Gee being masculine is nice, I'm soooo direct and truthful, it's almost like my idea of being "direct" really means "mature" and I have difficult recognizing that others might reach that state despite their crippling genetic defect of lacking a Y chromosome. I mean *I* somehow overcame that enormous problem and *I* am perfectly polite and professional despite having two X chromosomes, but really 90% of the time it's a fatal disease and we should just put the poor dears down when they become symptomatic.

Anyways, I hate to speak against my own gender here, but women really ARE the problem. It's okay that I think this as long as I know that I, personally, am in no way part of that problem. Also you know they can't help it. It's those crazy baby-making hormones.

:smokin: Did I miss anything ?

manusko

Specializes in critcal care, CRNA. Has 4 years experience.

If anyone says that statement then they picked the wrong profession. Personally I tell people I left military dental assisting and joined nursing to get away from all the women.;)

kvisintine, BSN, RN

Specializes in Surgery, ER. Has 2 years experience.

Honestly, I am a woman... but prefer to work with male peers. There is less drama, gossip and catty-ness. Some women have a tendency to let their emotions get the best of them (more so than their male counterparts)... this may make us the more nurturing of the sexes... but it also makes many females less rational in a work environment.

vhern246

Has 2 years experience.

When I started clinicals, one of my instructors was male and he pulled me aside and said under his breath,"Put your machismo aside and get ready to be one of the girls."

"What do you mean?", I replied.

"It's not that bad, but speak only when spoken to and stay out of the gossip"

Thats good advice for any workplace, but it was funny to me that he told me to be read to be "One of the girls"...

AKAnurse4

Specializes in Labor and Delivery.

The comments here really BLOW ME.....you rather work males but when he starts doing Inappropriate things and sexually harasses you then you become one of those "women"....we need to uplift each other...if it wasn't for reproduction men would not exist...I don't understand how men stick together but us women CANNOT!...but anyway let's be real you're at your job to do a job not to make friends...mind your business and keep moving!!!! Oh yeah you can pvt msg if you had issue with what I've said :-)

Edited by AKAnurse4

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych. Has 15 years experience.

Before I became a nurse, I was a factory worker at a paper products plant for three years. Out of 500+ employees, I was one of the only female workers there. Virtually all of my coworkers were men.

During my three years of employment at this factory, I saw minimal or nonexistent gossip, backstabbing, politics, cat fighting, or manipulation. I'm cognizant that the following statement may sound like a generalization, but men can shove their personal feelings aside to get the job done. Two men might personally dislike each other, but they can work together professionally. This concept seems harder for many women to grasp.

I do have a preference for working around males.

I am one of those women who also prefer to work with mostly men.

Before I became a nurse, I worked in corporate america and learned how to deal with conflict. It also taught me about professionalism and most of my co-workers were men and straight business like.

In my previous career, there was a such thing as being direct, keeping eye contact, and getting straight to the point of the issue. If you had a conflict with someone, you hashed it out and moved on.

I find in nursing, if you are direct, confront the person who you have an issue with FIRST, then you are accused of being "mean", or a "bully". I've never understood the term "passive aggressive" until I became a nurse. And atleast in corporate america you see the knife coming at you, because it's aiming for your face, in nursing, the knife is in your back.

itsmejuli

Specializes in Home Care.

You've no idea how happy I am that 3 out of 8 of my co-workers on the weekends are male :)

Murse406

Has 1 years experience.

By AKANurse4 "The comments here really BLOW ME....."

I am pretty sure there is a joke here somewhere...oh nevermind

AgentBeast, BSN, RN

Specializes in Cardiology and ER Nursing. Has 8 years experience.

Women tend to treat every little thing as some sort of personal affront. Not that there aren't men who don't do the same. It's just seems to be more prevalent among women. Why this is I have no real idea.

Working with Women..."it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...." As a bull in the china shop I can say men and women are different and science backs that statement up. There are good people and bad people everywhere. Nursing is and has been largly a woman's career field so men are in the minority. We enter the field and understand that. As a minority I have seen discrimination, and endured all the bad traits the fairer? sex has to throw out and they are many - we tend to remember the bad things that happen to us. I would recommend men think long and hard before making nursing a career choice it is much better mentally to work with people who have brains that work like ours - the thought processes are incompatable basically even if the results are often similar.

TDCHIM

Specializes in Health Information Management.

I've worked in a female-dominated work setting and a male-dominated profession. Both had horrid backstabbing coworkers (in varying numbers) and examples of egregious behavior from both genders. No, men and women didn't always fight exactly the same way, but it wasn't like one group had a distinct advantage in the professionalism department. The female-dominated setting had an in-crowd; so did the place I worked for in the male-dominated profession.

I think anytime people are pushed to the brink by crazy workloads and unresponsive management, the normal workplace politics grow to epic proportions. Judging from the comments here, it sounds as though the majority of nursing work settings are being squeezed mercilessly by management and have been for quite some time. Is it any wonder that the bad behaviors have gotten out of control in so many places? I don't think the difference lies primarily in the gender of those working at a place, but in the economics in play and the work culture that dominates the setting.

There is nothing wrong with expressing the observation that there have been many problems working with women or green three-toed frogs.

Before I became a nurse, I was a factory worker at a paper products plant for three years. Out of 500+ employees, I was one of the only female workers there. Virtually all of my coworkers were men.

During my three years of employment at this factory, I saw minimal or nonexistent gossip, backstabbing, politics, cat fighting, or manipulation. I'm cognizant that the following statement may sound like a generalization, but men can shove their personal feelings aside to get the job done. Two men might personally dislike each other, but they can work together professionally. This concept seems harder for many women to grasp.

I do have a preference for working around males.

I was successful in a career in the military where I found the same environment. Twenty years of being in a work centered atmosphere greatly accentuates the childish behavior I have encountered in nursing. The difference is glaring. This is my observation, I do not pretend to assume it will be the same experience for everyone else.

OgopogoLPN, LPN, RN

Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC/Geriatric.

I've seen both sides.

I worked in a office with all women support workers (secretaries, etc) and it was gossipy, catty, cliquey etc.

Then I worked on a surgical floor with mostly women nurses. Wonderful group, great friends, opening to me (the newbie). No cattiness. Very minimal gossip. I love them all!

So, there can be great groups of women and not so great groups.

noahsmama

Specializes in pediatrics, public health.

Obviously one's view of this issue will depend on the types of work environments one has experienced. In my own case, I have experienced:

1) A male-dominated non-nursing job (for a national environmental advocacy group) in which there was a huge amount of very nasty politics and in-fighting, especially at the program head level. One of the few program heads who seemed to manage to stay out of the fighting and nastiness was the only female program head.

2) A male-dominated non-nursing job (in a national laboratory) in which there was little, if any, politics or backstabbing, and we had the very business-like, professional atmosphere that others in this thread have described and have attributed to the presence of males (but which I wouldn't so attribute -- see 1)).

3) A female-dominated job as a bedside nurse in a major peds hospital. Here we did have some nurses who were "mean" -- this seemed to mostly be confined to change of shift report, when there were certain nurses who would try to rip you a new one if there was anything they felt you should have done on your shift but which you hadn't done. I noticed that none of the male nurses did this, and might have jumped to the conclusion that female-dominated jobs generate meanness, except not only for job 1), but also for job......

4) my current position, as a public health nurse for foster kids. Once again, there is little to no nastiness, in a job which is even more female-dominated than the one I just left (but most of my co-workers are social workers, not nurses -- hmmm, so should I jump to the conclusion that only nurses are mean? Um, no, don't think I'm gonna go there.....).

From my own experience I have to conclude that workplace nastiness is not solely a function of the gender of the people working there. In my first job, the nastiness stemmed from different program heads having very different philosophies and ideas about who we were as an organization, yet having to present ourselves as a unified package for the purposes of fundraising -- one of the most passionate debates was about how we were different or not from other environmental groups, and although that is a legimate "business" question to answer, let's just say that sometimes the battle over this question got very personal and very VERY ugly. This included people making a concerted (and sometimes successful) effort to force other people out of their jobs.

At the hospital I worked at, the "meanness" was primarily confined to change of shift, and I attribute it to the stress of a job where it's very hard to keep up with the work load, and some nurses dealing better than others with the fact that sometimes when they arrived for their shift they were going to find that the previous shift just plain didn't get to everything and had to leave some things for them to do.

I've also noted, both through my own very limited experience at different hospitals (in nursing school clinical rotations), and through posts here, that there's a huge amount of variation from one hospital to the next in the amount of backstabbing, politics, and meanness that goes on. In my own hospital job it was minimal and tolerable, but in the hospital in which I did my very first clinical rotation, it was pretty bad -- bad enough to make me worry about whether or not I could stomach working in a hospital -- it was also a particulary busy med-surg-tele unit, with quite a few pts so sick they really should have been in the ICU -- I'm sure the pressure of this was a big factor in the enviroment.

Anyway, from my own experience I would conclude that stress and limited resources has much more to do with workplace toxicity than the gender of the people working there.

I also conclude that if your workplace environment is toxic and there's nothing you can do to fix it, that's a good time to polish up the resume and look elsewhere -- because there's a decent chance you'll find a more congenial workplace elsewhere, even if you stay within the same female or male dominated profession.

Just my $0.02