there's another thread asking "should i report this?" it seems like there's always one of those threads going. in it, a brand new nurse relates a situation that she, in her infinite wisdom and experience, finds deplorable and ends with asking either “should i report this?” or “whom do i report this to?” the answer, i think, is “mind your own business,” but there are dozens of posts disagreeing with this. “we all have duty to report,” they proclaim self righteously. “we have to protect our patients.”
these are some of the same posters who perpetuate thread after thread on lateral violence, bullying, backstabbing and throwing one another under the bus. they know it happens because they’ve been bullied. bullying just ought not to be tolerated, it should be nipped in the bud. bullies should lose their jobs.
so bullying is a terrible thing . . . unless i’m doing it? backstabbing ought not to be tolerated . . . except, of course, if i’m backstabbing someone. we ought not to throw one another under the bus . . . but i’ll make an exception in the case that *i* want to “report someone.” women are all nasty, catty backstabbers . . . except for me, of course, and maybe my friends.
if bullying is such a concern, maybe we ought to just stop doing it. rather than wasting energy deciding how and where to report someone, perhaps we ought to just mind our own business. (unless a patient is in immediate danger, of course.) rather than throwing someone under the bus to make ourselves look better by comparison, maybe we ought to stand behind them, support them and if ignorance is an issue, educate them. rather than spending so much time and care on ruminating why the manager didn’t return our “hello” or the charge nurse didn’t jump up and say “good morning” when i graced the floor with my presence, maybe i ought to just cut her some slack. it’s possible that she has something other than me to think about, and it’s possible she wasn’t deliberately ignoring or being rude to me, she was just preoccupied. if we don’t like our preceptor, maybe we should just suck it up and deal -- after all, there are always going to be co-workers we don’t like. and if someone gives us feedback, maybe we ought to pay more attention to the message than the manner. after all, some people just can’t be tactful to save their souls, but it doesn’t make their feedback any less valuable. especially if you’re new and don’t know anything.
new nurses hasten to judge their more experienced colleagues as bullies and backstabbers, yet not all workplace violence is comes from seasoned professionals and is directed at newbies. a lot of it seems to come from those very same new nurses who protest public outrage about all the lateral violence they’re encountering. think about that the next time you go to your manager and request a new preceptor because you don’t like the one you have (or because you’re convinced she doesn’t like you. you know this, of course, because you can see it in her eyes, not because you’ve ever actually discussed it with her.) think about it the next time you rush to judgement about some experienced nurse who does something contrary to the way you learned it in school. maybe it's actually a better way to do it than what your instructor taught you. think about it the next time you self-righteously proclaim “that’s the kind of nurse i *don’t* want to be.” really? give it a few years and then get back to us. and surely you should think about it before even contemplating the question of whether or not you ought to report someone for anything that isn’t actually putting a patient into immediate danger. there's a lot to be said for minding one's own business. if one does that, one can be sure not to throw someone under the bus.
Bullying (in our society at large) has become a 'fad' (I hate using that word, because it denotes a good thing), but you all know what I mean. It's a hot topic now, with kids and teens. I am in no way arguing that it is an issue: there are kids who have literally been bullied to death (at their own hands). I imagine there will not be a shortage of jobs in mental health for many years to come, because of the lateral violence that kids are perpetuating against each other. My daughter is 11, and she just put herself in an awful position yesterday; she made fun of a friend (someone she likes {as a friend}, a boy no less), for what is probably gynecomastia. Imagine how small I felt when the mom (my friend) told me this. Did she bully him? I'd say no, but she picked on him, and he is already self conscious about it, and has been made fun of more than once by other kids. And my daughter is like the pot calling the kettle black: the minute we joke around about something with her (nothing remotely close to something like that), we are "hurting her feelings". She can dish it but she can't take it. Doesn't work for me.
Bottom line is, this is unacceptable. Parents (even if you are friends with them) are not tolerating it. Schools are not tolerating it. But they are 11 and 10. As parents we are doing our best to make sure our kids do not become bullies that lead other kids down a path of mental health disorders.
Bullying in nursing has always existed. Bullying in the adult world has always existed. Not saying it's right, but it is what it is. I've been 'bullied' by fellow staff nurses, I've been 'bullied' as an instructor (by staff nurses on the unit). (I use the quotes, because I considered it being picked on). I've cried in the bathroom, in the car, in the med room. But would I accuse these people of bullying me? Hardly. And just as our mother told us when we were kids, 'people who pick on you either like you, are jealous of you, or are just so miserable in their own lives'.
So, what I think has happened is that the bullying epidemic has given certain people in nursing the power to stand up to behavior they do not tolerate. Before, we just accepted it, and grew thicker skin as a result. Unfortunately, this is very subjective. As in instructor, we now need to walk on eggshells, so as not to bruise anyone's ego. Me telling someone they have to go to skills lab to practice may now be misconstrued as "that professor told me I was incompetent. Sorry, but isn't it my job to let you know how you're doing? Or should it only be positive praise? It is NEVER my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, however if I am sugar coating everything, am I really doing my job?
As for the life after nursing school, we need to stop tattling, and work on our communication skills. Problem is, this is only going to get worse. The next generation of nurses is communicating verbally less and less. Problems are trying to be solved via tweets and facebook wall posts; we'd much rather take the easier way out and 'let someone else handle it' (ie, the manager who gets paid the big bucks, lol).
I get that many people are sensitive, present company included. I am a cryer, have been all my life. But not everyone whose feelings are hurt are being bullied.
Getting crappy assignments does not constitute bullying. Not by a long shot. Try again.
giving the crappy assignments all the time to the nurse who is not in your group of friends when the patients could have been split up and you know that is unfair and BS. When it is planned to give the crappy assignment to the nurse you don't like over and over , then laughing at the desk while she runs around is. I get plenty of bad assignments as do most people. I don't think it is some grand master plan by the bullies when it happens to me. But i have seen people divide assignments unfairly on purpose and laugh about that at the desk with their "friends"! I don't know how to explain this any better. I don't think I am bullied but I see other nurses on my floor being bullied.
No, that scenario doesn't constitute bullying either. Still not even close. This is part of the problem. Most of the people tossing that word around don't even know what it means.
Legal definition of workplace bullying:
Unreasonable and inappropriate workplace behavior includes bullying, which comprises behavior which intentionally and systematically with forethought of malice intimidates, offends, degrades, insults or habitually humiliates an employee possibly in front of co-workers, clients or customers, and which includes physical or psychological behavior.
No, that scenario doesn't constitute bullying either. Still not even close. This is part of the problem. Most of the people tossing that word around don't even know what it means.
Than what does that scenario constitute? can you give me an example of bullying in nursing?
I was editing to include the legal definition. I have never seen it, so no, I can't give an example. Nothing comes to mind. I do know that being catty, which is what your example constitutes, isn't it.
I guess basically I'd say systematic physical or psychological torture. Certainly not just being a brat or a big meaniepie.
I was editing to include the legal definition. I have never seen it, so no, I can't give an example. Nothing comes to mind. I do know that being catty, which is what your example constitutes, isn't it.
I guess basically I'd say systematic physical or psychological torture. Certainly not just being a brat or a big meaniepie.
"Unreasonable and inappropriate workplace behavior includes bullying, which comprises behavior which intentionally and systematically with forethought of malice intimidates, offends, degrades, insults or habitually humiliates an employee possibly in front of co-workers, clients or customers, and which includes physical or psychological behavior. "
Does "psychological torture" fit under, " behavior that inentionally and systematically with forethought of malice intimidates , offends an employee'? Is it subjective? not everone is humilated by the same thing, right? If a surgeon commonly yells and screams in order to humilate the scrub tech is that bullying? what if one scrub tech crys over it to hr but the other ones don't care or yell back, is it still bullying, if the results aren't the same?
How about this one. The day before I left for my dad's lung cancer surgery, what they'd find and how he'd do still very much up in the air, would he even be alive due to cardiac issues, etc., the dayshift charge nurse gave me all 5 lung cancer patients on the floor. Every single one. Two of them were DNRs and not expected to last the night. Our patients were usually grouped together, and to do it she had me running from one end of the floor to the other. And she was looking at me and smirking as I kept hearing the diagnosis -- lung ca -- lung ca -- lung ca, expected to die this shift -- lung ca -- lung ca, DNR, guppy breathing, probably won't live to midnight. If I had a coworker who's parent or spouse or kid was going to have cancer surgery the next day, I wouldn't give them every dying cancer patient on the floor. My shift was horrified, and one of them said, "hey, I'll switch with you" and the dayshift charge said, "you'd better not F with my assignments, I'll write you both up for refusing your assignment."
So, I did the best job I could, two of them did pass, of course I saw my dad's face the entire night. I didn't punch Miss Priss right in the face at the end of the shift, but God knows I wanted to.
How about this one. The day before I left for my dad's lung cancer surgery, what they'd find and how he'd do still very much up in the air, would he even be alive due to cardiac issues, etc., the dayshift charge nurse gave me all 5 lung cancer patients on the floor. Every single one. Two of them were DNRs and not expected to last the night. Our patients were usually grouped together, and to do it she had me running from one end of the floor to the other. And she was looking at me and smirking as I kept hearing the diagnosis -- lung ca -- lung ca -- lung ca, expected to die this shift -- lung ca -- lung ca, DNR, guppy breathing, probably won't live to midnight. If I had a coworker who's parent or spouse or kid was going to have cancer surgery the next day, I wouldn't give them every dying cancer patient on the floor. My shift was horrified, and one of them said, "hey, I'll switch with you" and the dayshift charge said, "you'd better not F with my assignments, I'll write you both up for refusing your assignment."
So, I did the best job I could, two of them did pass, of course I saw my dad's face the entire night. I didn't punch Miss Priss right in the face at the end of the shift, but God knows I wanted to.
That's bullying.
I don't know what bullying is, legally, if that even exists. are there real legal definitions for bullying??? i assume they vary by state if they even exist. I believe this happened and I certainly believe some people do stuff like this on purpose and get some sort of pleasure from it...........
whichone'spink, BSN, RN
1,473 Posts
I might be of a tandoori flavor.