there's another thread asking "should i report this?" it seems like there's always one of those threads going. in it, a brand new nurse relates a situation that she, in her infinite wisdom and experience, finds deplorable and ends with asking either “should i report this?” or “whom do i report this to?” the answer, i think, is “mind your own business,” but there are dozens of posts disagreeing with this. “we all have duty to report,” they proclaim self righteously. “we have to protect our patients.”
these are some of the same posters who perpetuate thread after thread on lateral violence, bullying, backstabbing and throwing one another under the bus. they know it happens because they’ve been bullied. bullying just ought not to be tolerated, it should be nipped in the bud. bullies should lose their jobs.
so bullying is a terrible thing . . . unless i’m doing it? backstabbing ought not to be tolerated . . . except, of course, if i’m backstabbing someone. we ought not to throw one another under the bus . . . but i’ll make an exception in the case that *i* want to “report someone.” women are all nasty, catty backstabbers . . . except for me, of course, and maybe my friends.
if bullying is such a concern, maybe we ought to just stop doing it. rather than wasting energy deciding how and where to report someone, perhaps we ought to just mind our own business. (unless a patient is in immediate danger, of course.) rather than throwing someone under the bus to make ourselves look better by comparison, maybe we ought to stand behind them, support them and if ignorance is an issue, educate them. rather than spending so much time and care on ruminating why the manager didn’t return our “hello” or the charge nurse didn’t jump up and say “good morning” when i graced the floor with my presence, maybe i ought to just cut her some slack. it’s possible that she has something other than me to think about, and it’s possible she wasn’t deliberately ignoring or being rude to me, she was just preoccupied. if we don’t like our preceptor, maybe we should just suck it up and deal -- after all, there are always going to be co-workers we don’t like. and if someone gives us feedback, maybe we ought to pay more attention to the message than the manner. after all, some people just can’t be tactful to save their souls, but it doesn’t make their feedback any less valuable. especially if you’re new and don’t know anything.
new nurses hasten to judge their more experienced colleagues as bullies and backstabbers, yet not all workplace violence is comes from seasoned professionals and is directed at newbies. a lot of it seems to come from those very same new nurses who protest public outrage about all the lateral violence they’re encountering. think about that the next time you go to your manager and request a new preceptor because you don’t like the one you have (or because you’re convinced she doesn’t like you. you know this, of course, because you can see it in her eyes, not because you’ve ever actually discussed it with her.) think about it the next time you rush to judgement about some experienced nurse who does something contrary to the way you learned it in school. maybe it's actually a better way to do it than what your instructor taught you. think about it the next time you self-righteously proclaim “that’s the kind of nurse i *don’t* want to be.” really? give it a few years and then get back to us. and surely you should think about it before even contemplating the question of whether or not you ought to report someone for anything that isn’t actually putting a patient into immediate danger. there's a lot to be said for minding one's own business. if one does that, one can be sure not to throw someone under the bus.
and surely you should think about it before even contemplating the question of whether or not you ought to report someone for anything that isn’t actually putting a patient into immediate danger. there's a lot to be said for minding one's own business. if one does that, one can be sure not to throw someone under the bus.
this. i am all for protecting the patient, and if you actually witness something with your very own eyes (not hearsay or gossip) that puts a patient in harm's way, then i think it's a no-brainer that you have a duty to report.
unfortunately, what i see is a lot of speculation along the lines of "well, if s/he is capable of doing something that is against the rules (but that in no way harms anyone), then they are automatically capable of harming a patient, and therefore must be reported!"
i find this distasteful and ignorant, and quite frankly, downright scary that so many are so willing to think the worst without any evidence.
of course, i believe that legality, morality, and ethics are three completely separate and distinct things.
don't make too light of it. Emotional pain is real. I believe if someone is suffering as a result of a person's actions or words then yes, report them. But I would expect to have a discussion with BOTH parties. Whining is not appropriate either.
OF Course EMOTIONAL PAIN IS REAL-, Nurses help their patients deal with it every day. The point the OP was making....and IT'S A GREAT POINT, BTW...is that there seems to be a shift in the thinking. Seriously people- this isn't grade school- If you are all nurses, ie Professionals....you should be above running to tattle on your coworkers about every little silly unimportant thing. Work on thickening your skins, and learning what is truely an issue, vs. what hurt your widdle feelings...I give an amen to "Suck it up Buttercup!" Put your big girl panites (Or boy briefs,lol) on. In 20 yrs of nursing, I have written ONE person up. ONE, only one, one single solitary one....and that was d/t a patient safety issue.I have serious concerns about the quality of some of the complaints made on here- Before you decide to run to the boss and issue a complaint- try speaking with the person you have the issue with. A good nurse has great communication skills.Work on them...And please also remember- every time you make one of your silly little complaints.....YOU ARE MESSING WITH SOMEONE'S LIVELYHOOD.And their professional reputation, and there standing with their boss and HR. Karma is a heck of a thing, and nurselettes who are too quick to issue complaints about other nurses, don't ever get much help from anybody....
Whatever happened to talking to someone you have a problem with? Nowadays it seems like the first response to anything unsavory is to report them to the highest authorities. I hope these people remember that what goes around comes around.
In my pre-nursing life, talking to someone I had a problem with got me cussed out and threatened more than once. Now, I go to my manager. They can cuss the manager out.
Reporting something or someone doesn't necessarily mean bullying, backstabbing, or throwing them under the bus.
there's another thread asking "should i report this?" it seems like there's always one of those threads going. in it, a brand new nurse relates a situation that she, in her infinite wisdom and experience, finds deplorable and ends with asking either "should i report this?" or "whom do i report this to?" the answer, i think, is "mind your own business," but there are dozens of posts disagreeing with this. "we all have duty to report," they proclaim self righteously. "we have to protect our patients."
these are some of the same posters who perpetuate thread after thread on lateral violence, bullying, backstabbing and throwing one another under the bus. they know it happens because they've been bullied. bullying just ought not to be tolerated, it should be nipped in the bud. bullies should lose their jobs.
so bullying is a terrible thing . . . unless i'm doing it? backstabbing ought not to be tolerated . . . except, of course, if i'm backstabbing someone. we ought not to throw one another under the bus . . . but i'll make an exception in the case that *i* want to "report someone." women are all nasty, catty backstabbers . . . except for me, of course, and maybe my friends.
if bullying is such a concern, maybe we ought to just stop doing it. rather than wasting energy deciding how and where to report someone, perhaps we ought to just mind our own business. (unless a patient is in immediate danger, of course.) rather than throwing someone under the bus to make ourselves look better by comparison, maybe we ought to stand behind them, support them and if ignorance is an issue, educate them. rather than spending so much time and care on ruminating why the manager didn't return our "hello" or the charge nurse didn't jump up and say "good morning" when i graced the floor with my presence, maybe i ought to just cut her some slack. it's possible that she has something other than me to think about, and it's possible she wasn't deliberately ignoring or being rude to me, she was just preoccupied. if we don't like our preceptor, maybe we should just suck it up and deal -- after all, there are always going to be co-workers we don't like. and if someone gives us feedback, maybe we ought to pay more attention to the message than the manner. after all, some people just can't be tactful to save their souls, but it doesn't make their feedback any less valuable. especially if you're new and don't know anything.
new nurses hasten to judge their more experienced colleagues as bullies and backstabbers, yet not all workplace violence is comes from seasoned professionals and is directed at newbies. a lot of it seems to come from those very same new nurses who protest public outrage about all the lateral violence they're encountering. think about that the next time you go to your manager and request a new preceptor because you don't like the one you have (or because you're convinced she doesn't like you. you know this, of course, because you can see it in her eyes, not because you've ever actually discussed it with her.) think about it the next time you rush to judgement about some experienced nurse who does something contrary to the way you learned it in school. maybe it's actually a better way to do it than what your instructor taught you. think about it the next time you self-righteously proclaim "that's the kind of nurse i *don't* want to be." really? give it a few years and then get back to us. and surely you should think about it before even contemplating the question of whether or not you ought to report someone for anything that isn't actually putting a patient into immediate danger. there's a lot to be said for minding one's own business. if one does that, one can be sure not to throw someone under the bus.
i haven't read that post. i have about 1 year med surg experience on one floor. on my unit there are some big time bullies. they tend to bully the same people. by bully i mean unfair assignments, while they sit around with all walkie talkies someone else has the trachs, incontinents, peg tubes, pts who should be in the icu not med surg etc. this works out if the bully is the charge nurse who makes the assignment. there are a group of, "bullies" who together will only help if you beg and plead. the talk about that nurse and how she is incompetent. they bare great nurses though as evidenced by sitting at the desk for hours. i can understand someone going to management about this. the rest of the staff is ok and most people will help you if you ask or if they see you are sinking fast, while they have little to no meds to pass and self care patients. i would probably not go to the manger first. i owuld confront these people.
I have to add that all of these bullies i work with are experienced nurses. 5-10 years. they do, "eat their young" i guess. however none of them are, "old" as some are implying here. the bullies are in their mid 20s- mid 30s! often bullying older employees.
Okay, probably going to get smacked for this one but here goes.
Yes, I am one of those "older nurses who should retire" and who no doubt has been accused of "eating the youngun's."
PUHLEEZE. As previously stated, grow a pair (or bulk your pair up if you are a male) and go on.
Seriously, I attribute some of the whiney stuff to the newbies having grown up in an environment where continual praise was the norm. Kinda like the GCS---you get a "3" just for showing up but it doesn't mean much. It seems that everyone gets an award for just participating whether or not they actually do an award-winning job.
So when someone points out that perhaps they are not all that wonderful (you may read this as "downright dangerous") they get their feelings hurt and blame it on the messenger. After all, nobody else ever has told them that they weren't shining stars. Then again, real lives were not hanging in the balance.
Actually, I've never been accused of bullying, never been reported to a NM for making someone cry. But I do know some who have and I've been an eyewitness to the events surrounding the reports. In all instances I was totally amazed that the "injured" party thought that the situation was reportable. In all instances the "offender" was trying to STOP the newbie from doing something that would have caused harm to the patient. Was the "offender" abrupt. Hell yes---had to be, to prevent harm that was imminent.
As far as the newbies being innocents in all this? I've had more than my share of derogatory age-related terms tossed my way. Did I report them? Nah. I consider the source, file it, and pull out that file when the time is appropriate.
Okay, probably going to get smacked for this one but here goes.
Yes, I am one of those "older nurses who should retire" and who no doubt has been accused of "eating the youngun's."
PUHLEEZE. As previously stated, grow a pair (or bulk your pair up if you are a male) and go on.
Seriously, I attribute some of the whiney stuff to the newbies having grown up in an environment where continual praise was the norm. Kinda like the GCS---you get a "3" just for showing up but it doesn't mean much. It seems that everyone gets an award for just participating whether or not they actually do an award-winning job.
So when someone points out that perhaps they are not all that wonderful (you may read this as "downright dangerous") they get their feelings hurt and blame it on the messenger. After all, nobody else ever has told them that they weren't shining stars. Then again, real lives were not hanging in the balance.
Actually, I've never been accused of bullying, never been reported to a NM for making someone cry. But I do know some who have and I've been an eyewitness to the events surrounding the reports. In all instances I was totally amazed that the "injured" party thought that the situation was reportable. In all instances the "offender" was trying to STOP the newbie from doing something that would have caused harm to the patient. Was the "offender" abrupt. Hell yes---had to be, to prevent harm that was imminent.
As far as the newbies being innocents in all this? I've had more than my share of derogatory age-related terms tossed my way. Did I report them? Nah. I consider the source, file it, and pull out that file when the time is appropriate.
Paybacks are hell.
I wanna work with you :)
The generation who got trophies and ribbons for simply entering the contest are now in the workplace. Some are actually doing ok. And then there are the rest.... growing up as an adult will be lousy and confusing. They can either shut their mouths and open their ears, or chose to be miserable. I've seen more developmental delays in the last 15 years in "normal" people....the actual DD folks were way ahead of the game sometimes and garnered a whole lot more respect.
I hated writing people up- just more paperwork- and only did so when a direct violation of policy led to risks to patients- if it wasn't worth an official write up, they MIGHT get a quick "hey, next time______" . I didn't care about the interpersonal Olympics/drama that went on- and if an employee came to me with it (as a supervisor) first thing I'd ask was if they'd talked to that person. If they said no, the conversation was over- unless there was actual risk. I wasn't there to make sure everyone played nice- an adult should already have that down- by second grade....
RNDance, I'll save a place behind the couch for ya
By bullies, I do not mean the nurse who goes to the manager about things that can harm patients, or confronts other nurses about it.If i am doing something, anything, wrong PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!! By bullies i mean people who when in charge give their "friends" the easy patients and group all the "hard" patients for the nureses they don't like. Or who tell the mangers about someone who is 30mins late with a daily vitamin, and label that nurse as slow or incompetent without telling the manger that that person was running around the whole shift with a bunch of issues/actually doing stuff. These people bully both old and young nurses, the pretty ones, the ugly ones( in case someone starts with the, " i was bullied for being young and pretty and dating the general surgery chief",experienced and inexperienced. The people who get bullied seem to be the passive ones who don't confront the bullies. this isn't exclusive to nursing and i saw it in other jobs.
I agree with a lot of what has been posted here. I am definitely a new nurse, only been an RN for 5 months now. I do think that we need to be careful about how we define the eating of young though. I don't think it just pertains to age, as some posters imply. I am easily one of the oldest (by age) nurses on my unit, yet I am one of the "youngest" nurses in regards to tenure of my RN license. To me, eating of the young (uugh I hate that term) has nothing to do with age and more with how long you have been a nurse. Just my 2 cents on that. We have nurses in their upper 30's and early 40's that are the kindest and most helpful nurses ever. We also have some 23-25 year olds that spit venom and vile to everyone around them. I think it is just how people are sometimes. Age and experience know no boundaries when it comes to being mean sometimes.
I agree that people run to the manager too frequently for petty and nonsensical junk. I was a corporate manager in my first career. And trust me, the petty stuff gets really old. The tattling gets irritating and annoying. And the biggest side effect of the daily irrelevant petty tattling makes it difficult to filter out the important issues that people report. It makes you numb to the stuff that DOES matter and DOES need attention and investigation.
Anyways..... from my new nurse perspective, if everyone would just slap on a smile and help each other out, these problems could be alleviated. We should all watch our tone when dealing with each other. Thick skin or not, we are each responsible for how others perceive our actions and words. Part of being professional is being kind and respectful. Yep stress and chaos happen, but you can still be polite to others. Communication is mostly body language and tone, not the words we use. If we all paid a little more attention to how we communicate with others, many of these petty run to the manager issues could be avoided. We are all responsible for our own actions and words. When you take a few seconds to evaluate what you want to say and how you say it, a lot of potential problems can be avoided.
why is it taken so personal. most of what people are mentioning is not bullying and is really just having thin skin. why can't you just come in and do your job and go home. just be the professional one and kill 'em with kindness. your charge nurse complains about you needing help, who cares your'e still getting a paycheck, they assign you the worst pt's, so what, your shift will go faster. try to just come into work positive and be grateful in this economy that you have a job. there is always someone worse off than you
Especially since eating your young is fattening and according to a gazillion posts, fat nurses shouldn't be allowed to work, what with the hypocrisy and all.
I wanna work with you :) 
Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN
1 Article; 2,816 Posts
this. i am all for protecting the patient, and if you actually witness something with your very own eyes (not hearsay or gossip) that puts a patient in harm's way, then i think it's a no-brainer that you have a duty to report.
unfortunately, what i see is a lot of speculation along the lines of "well, if s/he is capable of doing something that is against the rules (but that in no way harms anyone), then they are automatically capable of harming a patient, and therefore must be reported!"
i find this distasteful and ignorant, and quite frankly, downright scary that so many are so willing to think the worst without any evidence.
of course, i believe that legality, morality, and ethics are three completely separate and distinct things.