"HOW can you do that?!?"

Trauma Columnist · Jul 30, 2006

I want to echo my thanks. Especially to the CNA's who took care of my MIL, my mother and my father when they became old and unable to do for themselves. All three were very, very proud folks who NEVER, EVER would have asked for this assistance.

When my MIL died, my husband and I went to the NH where she had lived for 6 years to collect her things and donate her clothes. So many of the CNA's who cared for her came to the room when they saw my husband, gave him a hug and told him how much they were going to miss her. It was such a comfort to my husband. I just wanted to say thanks for an oftentimes thankless job.

You guys do make a difference.

Melina · Jul 30, 2006

this is my reply..."i truly believe that it is harder for them than it is for me. these are people that are use to doing this for themselves and now they have to rely on another person to provide this very intimate care. they normally apologize to me for going to the bathroom."

I agree. I can only imagine how humbling it would be to be totally helpless, and how comforting it would be to have a caretaker who treated me dignity. It sounds corny, but I really think it's an honor to be in a position where I can contribute to someone's quality of life in such a significant way with such a small action.

~Mel'

all4schwa · Jul 30, 2006

all it takes is actually coming face the face with the situation. those people in a similiar situation would buck it up to help someone who was in an undignified state.

casi, ASN, RN · Jul 30, 2006

This is actually a question I haven’t been asked. I mostly get “OMG how can you work with dying people all the time!” ermmm, just because they are old, doesn’t mean they are actively dying and depressing…

The bottom wiping is second nature to me. Sometimes it can be icky but you smile and get it done with. I honestly put myself in their place. Can you imagine going a day without wiping yourself? How absolutely uncomfortable it would be to have urine and BM sticking to your skin? It’s oddly satisfying to get someone in a bad state (I work a dementia unit, I’m sure everyone can imagine bad states, I’m not just wiping BM off the bottom) and get them fully cleaned up. So many people are so thankful for something so simple.

chadash · Jul 30, 2006

This is so true, it doesn't bother me at all to give personal care to a patient, but I am the worst patient on earth myself! I get so embarressed wearing one of those hospital gowns, I can't imagine what it will be like to have someone change a depend or something someday.

I always reassure my patient that it is no thing to me! If they apologize to me, I say "No, I am sorry that you have to put up with me doing this!"

jarhea · Jul 30, 2006

When people first find out that I am in nursing school, I usually get the same question. My response is that we don't hesitate to wipe a baby's bottom, but for some reason it's not the same as wiping an elderly person's bottom. For me, they are one and the same. I believe that life comes full circle, we came into this world dependent on others care, and we will probably go out dependent on others care. That usually gives them something to think about.:)

sgregory0020 · Jul 3, 2007

Thanks for all the wonderful post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I , myself v\get these questions and I simply reply I hope someone will give me the same care as i give my resident! To me its all about respect and loving what you do for a living! I lovve t be told that Iam doing a great job and that that they love me for helping them! :balloons::balloons: :nurse:

chasingmydream · Jul 11, 2007

ok ..

i see what you are saying.

but i actually have a resident who refuses to use a bedpan, cause she doesnt want to, she is very alert and aware. she calls me in, and says roll me over, i have to take a bm. oh...and can u wipe my butt. im like theres nothing there. well wipe it, it will help me take a bm. she actually wants me to stimulate her orifice. she gets mad if i get a pad to put under there to catch the mess. she urinates her bed/incontinent pad at least 4 times a nite when she COULD ask for the bedpan. she pees herself on purpose then rings all nite long...IM WET. i think its gross she is refusing to use a bedpan. the only thing wrong with her is she has a amputee/below the knee on one leg. her other problem is being a pain.