"Eat their young"

[rolvue]

I am a new graduate nurse and on my own for 3 months now and still learning. A week or 2 weeks ago, I had been assigned to a small bowel obstruction patient. At bedside report from PM shift the RN told me that the patient had some emesis and was given zofran which helped him. I didn't question the nurse about how much the patient's emesis was and if the doctor was notified. Since he was given zofran, he was fine after that. So, I monitor the patient and he did not have any symptoms of nausea/vomiting overnight. The next morning I did a bedside report with one of the nurse, thinking everything was okay. Well, I got spoken to by the educator about the importance of asking all these important questions while getting report. It didn't occur to me at the time when getting the report to ask these questions (how much and if md was notified and if any new orders were given). This nurse likes to bully new graduate nurse. She likes to report us to the educator instead of given us tips and advice. I rather work as a team and help me become better at asking questions rather than getting it from the educator 1-2 weeks later. She's one that likes to complain about everyone at work. It can be stressful and makes me feel like a loser. Now I'm questioning myself if I will ever become good at asking the right questions during bedside report. This is how I am feeling right now. The educator will be talking to the PM nurse about giving good bedside report, too. So, should I let this incident go and learn from it or should I discuss this with the department supervisor about it and see if there's anything that can help me become better at asking the right questions?

[Nienna Celebrindal]

Personally when I am doing report with a new nurse and they don't give me all the information I want or need I ask them and then I tell them why I am asking. Cause ya know, teamwork. I'd only run off to the educator if it was a consistent problem.

[Wuzzie]

Personally when I am doing report with a new nurse and they don't give me all the information I want or need I ask them and then I tell them why I am asking. Cause ya know, teamwork. I'd only run off to the educator if it was a consistent problem.

We don't know for a fact that the nurse "ran off" to the educator. That's the OPs assumption because she's all butt-hurt. Maybe that nurse ran into the educator and was asked how things were going with the new nurse. If you notice the educator also talked to the other nurse who gave a sub-par report. Maybe the OP has a history of getting upset when corrected and the nurse thought it would be better coming from the educator. Maybe that's their chain of command. We don't know. What we DO know is that the OP has turned being educated about a deficiency in her practice into being bullied and eaten. A little dramatic don't you think?

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

OP, I am confused a little. Did the Educator talk to you because of how you gave YOUR report, or because you did not ask questions in the report that was given to you. In the original post you say YOU did not ask about mls of emesis or if MD was called.

Ideally she should have said to you, hey do you want to know how much emesis? I would not consider this a case of "eating". Since you are still a novice nurse, just chalk it up as a learning experience. Giving and receiving report and learning what questions to ask just takes time.

[MasonDixieChic]

I've recently hit my 1 year mark as a new grad nurse on a step down ICU/tele floor and, while part of me wants to sympathize and tell you how much I can't stand when this one particular nurse gets report from new nurses she looks for any tiny thing to reprimand them on ("the tubing on that ER admissions' IV fluid isn't labeled?! You don't know how many doses of this one super specific antibiotic the patient has received, even though its been discontinued???" yet when she gives report its maybe 4 words long and is a take-what-you-get sort of thing. She is mean, she IS looking for things that are wrong, and her criticism is NOT constructive. With that said.. I have learned more than I ever imagined in my first year as a nurse; I had to grow a bit of a thicker skin and it sounds like you might need to as well.

I know its not want you want to hear but if I can tell you anything it is just to relay what a very wise professor told me in nursing school and it rings true. You've got to "own" your practice. Never make excuses, never try to deflect or blame not knowing something on another person. You've got to do what you need to do to find out what is important to care for your patient. Learning to give a good report is hard, and the only way it gets easier and you get better is with practice. Start to anticipate what questions will be asked and how they are relevant to the patients' clinical picture.

The nurse I experienced and wrote about wasn't "building up my self-esteem" as a new nurse, she never sought to find the most effective way to right my newbie wrongs; but to be honest, that's not her job. I had to learn to work with her. I had to learn to ask, and to be asked, all of the questions that make up a thorough report. I think the three most important things you should take away are....

1. its not about you -- (really, its not. It's about the patient. and even when a nurse gives you a hard time about something, you can't take everything so personally...it will be exhausting and not help you out at all

2. own your practice -- be accountable for your nursing practice. When you are getting report and giving report on your patient, assessing your patient, giving medications to your patient, documenting about your patient...take the time to do what you need to do, ask the questions you need to ask, double and triple check the things you need to check to ensure you give the best care to your patient. If something you failed to ask or do raises an issue with the patient, accept your responsibility in that situation, learn from it, and move forward.

3. being a new nurse is hard! It (frustratingly) takes time and practice to learn how to feel and truly be competent and confidant nurse. It will get better, you will get better. Hang in there and focus on learning how to be the best nurse you can be!

[danielle2000, MSN, RN]

Girlfriend, with this profession you have to have tough skin. Remember RNs are not born they are created with years of experiences and with those experiences mistakes will be made. How you handle mistakes is what clearly defines your character. Personally, I would not have tripped over it. If it were me I would develop a cheat sheet when given report to make sure I address issues like how much? when was the last dose given, and when do I notify the MD etc. You are not a bad nurse just pull your boot straps and keep it pushing. No one has started this profession perfect.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

And from her perspective it probably seemed less toxic to let the educator correct you since that is the educator's job and you are new and sensitive. Can't win for losing.

Correction is part of being inexperienced. That isn't bullying. Ask yourself if there was really any way for her to approach this that would not have made you feel the way you do and then ask yourself if she ever got a copy of that script.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

This kind of thing is why experienced nurses "roll their eyes" so much on this forum. You were NOT bullied. No one ate their young. You were simply corrected on something. Even if you prefer that the reporting nurse had corrected you directly, NONE OF THIS rises to the level of bullying or NETY.

What this is is an extreme example of making a mountain out of a molehill. You really need to work on your ability to accept constructive criticism gracefully. You are a new nurse, so you are going to make mistakes and/or have weak areas in your practice. You need to be a grown up about owning your mistakes and learning from them rather than crying that you are being mistreated. Being defensive or playing the victim card in a scenario such as you have described makes you seem really immature. You need to "man up."

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Personally when I am doing report with a new nurse and they don't give me all the information I want or need I ask them and then I tell them why I am asking. Cause ya know, teamwork. I'd only run off to the educator if it was a consistent problem.

Same here, but nevertheless, this incident doesn't even REMOTELY rise to the level of bullying or nurses eating their young. Not.even.close.

[guest52816]

I've recently hit my 1 year mark as a new grad nurse on a step down ICU/tele floor and, while part of me wants to sympathize and tell you how much I can't stand when this one particular nurse gets report from new nurses she looks for any tiny thing to reprimand them on ("the tubing on that ER admissions' IV fluid isn't labeled?! You don't know how many doses of this one super specific antibiotic the patient has received, even though its been discontinued???" yet when she gives report its maybe 4 words long and is a take-what-you-get sort of thing. She is mean, she IS looking for things that are wrong, and her criticism is NOT constructive. With that said.. I have learned more than I ever imagined in my first year as a nurse; I had to grow a bit of a thicker skin and it sounds like you might need to as well.

I know its not want you want to hear but if I can tell you anything it is just to relay what a very wise professor told me in nursing school and it rings true. You've got to "own" your practice. Never make excuses, never try to deflect or blame not knowing something on another person. You've got to do what you need to do to find out what is important to care for your patient. Learning to give a good report is hard, and the only way it gets easier and you get better is with practice. Start to anticipate what questions will be asked and how they are relevant to the patients' clinical picture.

The nurse I experienced and wrote about wasn't "building up my self-esteem" as a new nurse, she never sought to find the most effective way to right my newbie wrongs; but to be honest, that's not her job. I had to learn to work with her. I had to learn to ask, and to be asked, all of the questions that make up a thorough report. I think the three most important things you should take away are....

1. its not about you -- (really, its not. It's about the patient. and even when a nurse gives you a hard time about something, you can't take everything so personally...it will be exhausting and not help you out at all

2. own your practice -- be accountable for your nursing practice. When you are getting report and giving report on your patient, assessing your patient, giving medications to your patient, documenting about your patient...take the time to do what you need to do, ask the questions you need to ask, double and triple check the things you need to check to ensure you give the best care to your patient. If something you failed to ask or do raises an issue with the patient, accept your responsibility in that situation, learn from it, and move forward.

3. being a new nurse is hard! It (frustratingly) takes time and practice to learn how to feel and truly be competent and confidant nurse. It will get better, you will get better. Hang in there and focus on learning how to be the best nurse you can be!

This advice is perfect. Well said!

[beckeroo222]

while part of me wants to sympathize and tell you how much I can't stand when this one particular nurse gets report from new nurses she looks for any tiny thing to reprimand them on ("the tubing on that ER admissions' IV fluid isn't labeled?! You don't know how many doses of this one super specific antibiotic the patient has received, even though its been discontinued???" yet when she gives report its maybe 4 words long and is a take-what-you-get sort of thing. She is mean, she IS looking for things that are wrong, and her criticism is NOT constructive. With that said.. I have learned more than I ever imagined in my first year as a nurse; I had to grow a bit of a thicker skinand it sounds like you might need to as well.

I know its not want you want to hear but if I can tell you anything it is just to relay what a very wise professor told me in nursing school and it rings true. You've got to "own" your practice. Never make excuses, never try to deflect or blame not knowing something on another person. You've got to do what you need to do to find out what is important to care for your patient. Learning to give a good report is hard, and the only way it gets easier and you get better is with practice. Start to anticipate what questions will be asked and how they are relevant to the patients' clinical picture.

The nurse I experienced and wrote about wasn't "building up my self-esteem" as a new nurse, she never sought to find the most effective way to right my newbie wrongs; but to be honest, that's not her job. I had to learn to work with her. I had to learn to ask, and to be asked, all of the questions that make up a thorough report. I think the three most important things you should take away are....

1. its not about you -- (really, its not. It's about the patient. and even when a nurse gives you a hard time about something, you can't take everything so personally...it will be exhausting and not help you out at all

2. own your practice -- be accountable for your nursing practice. When you are getting report and giving report on your patient, assessing your patient, giving medications to your patient, documenting about your patient...take the time to do what you need to do, ask the questions you need to ask, double and triple check the things you need to check to ensure you give the best care to your patient. If something you failed to ask or do raises an issue with the patient, accept your responsibility in that situation, learn from it, and move forward.

3. being a new nurse is hard! It (frustratingly) takes time and practice to learn how to feel and truly be competent and confidant nurse. It will get better, you will get better. Hang in there and focus on learning how to be the best nurse you can be!

YES YES YES - I do agree there are some nurses out there who are just horrible to new inexperienced nurses, but that is the case with a**holes in any profession. Too many new nurses (and new college grads in general) are expecting what you wrote about... coworkers that "build up your self-esteem" and "love to teach you how to grow in some individualistic way" --- that's not their job!! its on you (and all of us, still) to go through that uncomfortable period of being wrong, accepting it, learning, and moving forward.... love masondixiechic's words.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

There was no bullying. The nurse spoke to the educator about you, apparently she felt you need help with your report. It is not in her job duty to educate you, that's what the educator is for. Also, the other nurse was spoken to by the educator. It's not like that nurse ran to your manager & ranted about you. She didn't even yell at you. It's time to put your big girl panties on & accept responsibility for your mistakes.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

So, should I let this incident go and learn from it or should I discuss this with the department supervisor about it and see if there's anything that can help me become better at asking the right questions?

Yes, you should let this "incident" go and learn from it. What you can do to become better at asking the right questions is to accept any and all feedback from your colleagues (nurses, educators, supervisors, etc) with an open mind. Listen to what people have to tell you and consider their message whether you like the delivery or not. You will learn new things every time you go to work and will have plenty of lessons in humility as you make your way through the steep learning curve that every new nurse experiences. Don't let your pride or *feelings* get in the way of you growing as person or as a professional.

What you, the Original Poster needs to let go of is the idea that any interaction that you perceive as uncomfortable constitutes bullying or eating young. You should be able to learn from these interactions, even if you don't like the delivery. Listen with an open mind and extract the nugget of information the person is trying to convey, and then genuinely thank them for bothering to convey it to you. It is risky and uncomfortable these days to try to help new grads -- they are more apt to become defensive and threaten to "report you" for "making them feel bad" than to learn from their mistakes or from any advice you try to give.