As some of you know, I had a strange clinical instructor the semester. If you don't know my situation, see post in the general discussion area from 1-18-03. Yesterday, I met with the instructor to clear up some things with her. She said I was unstable and needed help. I told her I was dropping and she said I couldn't drop out without an exit interview. I said that I would n't comply and went to the nursing program secretary and dropped out of school. The secretary said an exit interview wasn't necessary. This instructor was so controlling that she actually wanted to control my dropping out.
I am a normal mother of two with a 18 year fabulous work history in medical and biological research and a B.S. in Biology. I have never had an psych problems. How could a nursing instructor make these judgements after only knowing me for 5 days?
If this is nursing, you can count me out.
To all of you who have helped me through my prerequistes, I thank you. Good luck and I wish you all well. Thanks especially to JulieLPN, Mario, and Dr. Kate.
Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience Bjorn, and anyone else in the same situation. I am a 'survivor' (if thats the right word!) of a similar experience. I had a mentor( as we call em in the uk) on a clinical placement whos sole aim during my placement was to make my life hell and get me kicked off the course. She told me bad things so often I got to believing them and believing I didnt have what it takes to nurse. The outcome of it was I came away from the placement in a real state, having had no one heed my pleas for help and intervention with this problem and looking very likely to get booted from the course because no one would take my word against hers. I actually went into my personal tutor and said I quit! He then spent the next 2 hours talking me out of it and handing me tissues. I stayed with the course and with the support of my peers and a couple of wonderful tutors I turned that experience around, vowing I wouldnt let the actions of one person ruin my dream. Guess what? im 18 months down the line now and doing great! I just said a tearfull farewell the the staff on my latest clinical placement and came away with a glowing report, having also been told "your a natural, because you care and we wish you well"
The Moral?? yes, there are bad people out there, even in nursing, but dont let them drag you down. Use the experience to become stronger and rise above such mindless behavior. They obviously dont care and get off on the power trip of hurting you....and always remember the saying WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. What better justice than for that person to see what a damn fine nurse you get to be? so go all out to prove em wrong. It worked for me.
I wish all you folk out there who suffer at the hands of these bullies all the best AND STICK AT IT!!
It can get you down. I am in a similiar situation. Some instructors try to have fun off you with the alleged intent of illiciting your best by tearing you down first. There is a way to do that, but some instructors abuse their position in this regard. And when you assume they are going to instruct you, you don't want to put them in check right away, which enables their behavior.
There are instructors who know what hate is and feel empowered by controling your stress.
I can't help but remember there was some guy in TX or AZ who murdered three or four of his instructors, then himself.
Perhaps some nursing instructors chose to leave PT care because they hated having to be caring. I notice there are some nurses that are very mean and they tend to be working alone, because I feel they are hesitant of the same people seeing them be so mean. It's embarrassing for me as a health care worker to see unchecked mental illness amongst my own ranks, and it is taboo to even mention this. When a person, nurse, instructor is out of whack and allowed to lead and interact with students, most folks say "don't let it get you down", or "you have to develop a thick skin." I don't go for it. I am a loving and caring person right to my osteocytes and RBC's, and there is no way I can pretend to be a hateful and mean person to "back down" a sneaky and mean personality dsorder.
My outflowing love is what makes me a wonderful person and beautiful nurse someday (2004). If I can get through this quarters clinical instructor, next quarter i will ask my next clinical instructor to have a pre-clinical meeting with me and discuss her communication ability. I want to let them all know, from now on, that i am a feeling person, and can sense this hatred and meaness right away, and I will warn them up front that I will not go for any bit of it. They can be mean to me, if it will help them with their own problems, if they let me know upfront they are mentally unstable and feel like unloading an a person like me, who will feel everything, because i am totally alive, and can not ever assume a blunted affect look in order to fit in. Just because I have a personality some people feel they have to attack it, because they don't know how to love it. I love you. I love all people because we are all unique and it's that which makes us human. Some people just been raised to hate other people, or maybe were punished for having a unique personality. Though I feel their pain, and want to love them, I require respect. Sorry to go off.
Dead end nursing instructors need to be helped and not circulated amongst new students. Hungry, hateful nursing instructors should be restrained and put on TPN, and not allowed to eat on nursing students.
I love all people because we are all unique and it's that which makes us human. Some people just been raised to hate other people, or maybe were punished for having a unique personality
Well said Mario, this is what the world could use alot more of.
I have found that there are "old school" nurses, who believe in these scare tactics to see if you have got what it takes.
Please don't generalize like this...I am an 'old school nurse' and never would I subject another nurse to bad treatment, nor would I allow it to occur unchecked if I observed this from another staff member.
My own PERSONAL experience: SOME of the YOUNGER nurses with advanced degrees or positions of authority CAN be some of the worst to dish out ugly, vindictive treatment to others they perceive as 'less' than them. Let's be fair please...and resist generalizing...it doesn't help matters.
I had a very difficult time with one instructor (YOUNGER THAN ME). It was so awful I almost quit (except that then my ex-husband would have gloried in it, so I couldn't -- yes, if it hadn't been for pure contrariness I couldn't have made it).
Between my fulltime job, the stress of nursing school, the divorce and my kids, I could not have continued with the abusive comments/behavior for another clinical rotation. By the time she got done with me, my confidence was shot. And at that point, I only had one rotation left to go. So I DO understand why Bio dropped out (but I do hope you try again another place).
All my other instructors were heaven to work with and I can't tell you how much I appreciate them....and BTW, THAT instructor was let go. :)
Please don't generalize like this...I am an 'old school nurse' and never would I subject another nurse to bad treatment, nor would I allow it to occur unchecked if I observed this from another staff member.
My own PERSONAL experience: SOME of the YOUNGER nurses with advanced degrees or positions of authority CAN be some of the worst to dish out ugly, vindictive treatment to others they perceive as 'less' than them. Let's be fair please...and resist generalizing...it doesn't help matters.
I said SOME old school nurses, not all. I did not direct the comment at you or anyone else, but it is what I HAVE EXPERIENCED! That is NOT generalizing....geez.
Bio, wish I'd seen this thread before you quit, so I could have offered my encouragement. So sorry for you!!
I too went back to school to be a nurse after getting a degree in Biology. I too had a very bad experience with a clinical instructor. She was down on me because I was hearing impaired. Even after I bought an amplified stethescope, she still insisted, without ever checking me out on it, that I could not do a proper chest or BP assessment. We threatened to take her to human rights over this.
She flunked me, and I had my evaluation reviewed by 2 other instructors, after I'd been allowed to put in my own comments and correct many, many inaccuracies and out and out lies that she'd put on it. They passed me, and I went on to (eventually) get my RN. I had a few other serious bobbles in my journey after that, but in the end I succeeded.
SO, just keep on truckin'!! This particular instructor was SOOOO bad that after the semester was over we had a special meeting with the department chair (our whole clinical group -- I wasn't the only one to suffer at her hands!) and she was put on probation, and told to take some courses on teaching.
The college also took a serious look at the treatment of handicapped students, and the next semester they had a special department to assist them! I don't know how much of a role my treatment played in this, but I'm sure it had some influence. (Our lawyer just happened to be on the Board of Directors of the college!! :D)
If it was me, I'd complain, complain, complain. I think you are being judged very unfairly. Interpersonal skills are very important in nursing, but they have nothing to do with how many buddies you have in the program! Like you, I was pretty much of a loner when I took my RN, mainly due to being so much older than the other students. I cannot say this affected my performance in the least! What right has she to judge you for this???
Please don't quit, listen to the others above. I had a Nursing instuctor in OB that was friends with the instructor for peds AND the one for Medical. She had 4 children, I had 4 children. She decided that I "had no business in Nursing". She and the other two got together and tried very hard to run me out of the program. I was a 4.0 student. I had never had any problems before. My work remained good, although I did end up with a few B's that semester. They even had a conference with me at one point to tell me I was unstable because a child at the daycare had sat on my lap! I had "shown an undue interest in the child". The med . Instructer balled me out because I held my breath while changing a sterile dressing for the first time, I was so nervous, and when I realized it, I let out my breath. She said I acted like I was bored, and it sounded like a sigh to her. The peds instructor made me stay all day with a 4 month old baby that was being taken off the vent to die "because I needed to experience that". As I had stood with my own baby and watched him die, under similar circumstances , and she was aware of it, I didn't see why that was necessary. No one else had to go through an experience like that.Nor was anyone else sent to the peds ICU for that matter. It was the worst semester of my life, and the reason I haven't gone back for a Master's. When I graduated, with honors, pregnant, the meds instructor came up to me at graduation, before we filed in and told me I had no "right" to have another baby, I couldn't support the ones I had. As I was married, and my husband worked, we weren't on welfare, I don't know how she came up with that. 10 years later, I am still a Nurse, and a good one. Last I heard, the peds instructor and the OB one got fired from their hospital jobs, they were well hated by the people they worked with too. And the Med. instructor took off and married a Doctor or something. As for me, I have my ups and downs as an agency Nurse, but I have sent 2 kids to college, am sending 3 more when the time comes, I own my house and my car, I have not been on welfare, and I am a Darn good Nurse. I have plenty of references and letters to prove it.I have also precepted several students during their clinical management and recieved little presents from the students(a delightful suprise!) and wonderful thank you notes from their instructors for the good experience I gave their students.Don't quit. Get even and graduate from a different school. Oh, and do go ahead and pursue the suggestions the others gave you, they're very good. Be a better Nurse than they were and always remember the poor students when they come through.
Its a terrible shame that you let this one instructor de-rail you from something you wanted. I agree with what has been posted--time for some soul searching and deciding if being a nurse is something you really want, and are willing to work for. If not, better to figure it out now rather than after you've invested years. If it is--dont let ANYONE keep you from it!! Transfer schools, whatever it takes to accomplish what YOU want!!!
Well it's pretty obvious we all have experienced one instructor or another that should not be teaching...schools seem to forget that just because the person has a masters degree doesn't mean they are capable of teaching, they are capable of being a student and who knows if they were even very good students...
I really think you should reconsider your choice to quit nursing. If nursing was a dream of yours and you quit your former job/career to pursue it, why let one person get in your way. I truly believe that anything worthwhile in life is not going to come easy. Trials and tribulations are part of life. Don't let one person have so much power over you. What would have happened if Albert Einstein had decided to give up on physics because a former teacher had proclaimed that he would never amount to anything? The point is to know yourself and know what you want out of life and don't let anybody stand in your way. Surely you don't want to look back while in your twilight years and regret not having pursued your dream because of one crazy instructor. Anyhow, best of luck in whatever you decide.
:D)
opiatesrus
1 Post
Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience Bjorn, and anyone else in the same situation. I am a 'survivor' (if thats the right word!) of a similar experience. I had a mentor( as we call em in the uk) on a clinical placement whos sole aim during my placement was to make my life hell and get me kicked off the course. She told me bad things so often I got to believing them and believing I didnt have what it takes to nurse. The outcome of it was I came away from the placement in a real state, having had no one heed my pleas for help and intervention with this problem and looking very likely to get booted from the course because no one would take my word against hers. I actually went into my personal tutor and said I quit! He then spent the next 2 hours talking me out of it and handing me tissues. I stayed with the course and with the support of my peers and a couple of wonderful tutors I turned that experience around, vowing I wouldnt let the actions of one person ruin my dream. Guess what? im 18 months down the line now and doing great! I just said a tearfull farewell the the staff on my latest clinical placement and came away with a glowing report, having also been told "your a natural, because you care and we wish you well"
The Moral?? yes, there are bad people out there, even in nursing, but dont let them drag you down. Use the experience to become stronger and rise above such mindless behavior. They obviously dont care and get off on the power trip of hurting you....and always remember the saying WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. What better justice than for that person to see what a damn fine nurse you get to be? so go all out to prove em wrong. It worked for me.
I wish all you folk out there who suffer at the hands of these bullies all the best AND STICK AT IT!!