Quit or be fired?

flashpoint · Jan 30, 2005

What would have happened if you had called in with diarrhea and vomiting? Would that have been acceptable? It seems pretty unfair that because you tried to give them ample notice and were honest you were fired, when you could have just lied and claimed you were sick at the last minute! Management knows that if they hire someone who lives out of town, they run the risk of that person not making it to work due to weather, car problems, etc. Even if a nurse has a backup plan, management knows that sometimes systems fail and things just go belly up. Even if you had appropriate care for your children, if the weather is really bad, it seems a bit unfair to ask you to rick your life driving when the roads are pure ice, visibility is nil, etc.

live4today, RN · Jan 30, 2005

just an update for you all...i called at 4am it had already started sleeting...its been going ever since. anyway, when i called, the call-in nurse said whe was told not to accept any call-ins. i tol her i had already talked with the don and administrator the day before and just to write on the schedule that i am not coming in. the don called me back and asked me what was going on and i told her i still wasn't able to find anyone for the kids...she said its not doing anything outside. i told her that it was at my house and they were still calling for the storm with potential for mass power outages and i was sorry but couldn't leave my kids with that. so, i was fired. i did remind her that i worked in every other ice/snowstorm in the past 4 years but i guess that didn't matter since she would be covering my shift...she said "don't plan on coming back". thank you to everybody that shared your experiences an encouragement and also to those with differing opinions for your honesty and sharing your perspective.

as a former divorced mom who had to give up my full-time night job (years ago) to work for nursing agencies for the flexibility in hours to support my three children and be available to them more often, i completely understand your choice not to put your job before the care of your children. you can get another job, but your children are a once in a lifetime gift! :) i admire you for knowing where your priorities lie, and being courageous enough to choose your children over what sounds to me to be a crabby work environment managed by a crabby don anyway. being fired isn't the worse thing to have happen. you could have taken a greater risk in driving on ice, and being killed leaving your children with no mother at all.........or something could have happened to your children during your weekend at work.

[color=#4b0082]we are alllllllll replaceable employees. no employer values us as employees to care one iota about our family life and family responsibilities that came loooooonnnnggg before them. :uhoh3:

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[color=#4b0082]by the way....why don't you sign up with local agencies and work a schedule that is more suitable for a single mom raising children. with four years of nursing experience, you won't have any problem working agency. actually, you only need one year of nursing experience to go agency. :) good luck to you! :balloons:

DDRN4me · Jan 30, 2005

Wendy, it is their loss. You made the right decision for your family.(see my signature line) You had the wisdom to do what you thought best. My guess is that the DON wanted to be home and now had to go in..too bad, thats what they get the big bucks for. (I was management once, too...hated it)I'm sure you will find something that will fit your lifestyle and family life too. I'll say a few extra prayers that something better comes along ! Mary

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jan 30, 2005

Wendy, it is their loss. You made the right decision for your family.(see my signature line) You had the wisdom to do what you thought best. My guess is that the DON wanted to be home and now had to go in..too bad, thats what they get the big bucks for. (I was management once, too...hated it)I'm sure you will find something that will fit your lifestyle and family life too. I'll say a few extra prayers that something better comes along ! Mary

Ditto....

I'm so sorry, yet relieved that you made the choice that YOU were comfortable with. I've been folowing the news/weather and SC was hit hard.. numerous wicked accidents ... solid ice on the roads.

Regardless of my childrens' ages, if all other backup plans had fallen through.. my responsibility would have first been to THEM.

In an icestorm like this, one never knows what might happen.. at home or on the roads. A whole weekend is too long a time to be gone under such severe conditions. Had something occurred you would never have forgiven yourself.

Where one door shuts, a window is opened elsewhere. I have faith that you will be just fine.. better even than before.

Hold your head high and know that your loved ones are safe..as are you. :)

xmaxiex · Jan 30, 2005

I admire you wendy ! Family is always first .

javanurse2000, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2005

wowee wow wow...I just read all of the new posts and all I can say is ....I am going to dig up my funnel cake recipe and share it with you all! Please be on the look out for it tomorrow. Thank you again everybody!

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 30, 2005

Those who inferred your two kids should be left alone to fend for themselves are wrong, period. What are they THINKING?????

You did the right thing. Kids first. You were responsible; you attempted to make other arrangements. You called WAY ahead of time to let them know you would not make it, after having exhausted your options. You don't make a habit of calling out. You are not late. You WERE a good employee, and better mother......

They showed you how they feel about you by firing you. It was already said; blessing in disguise. You were a model employee. They screwed you. Screw THEM.

Best wishes my friend.

TracyB,RN, RN · Jan 30, 2005

Dang..... I am sorry they fired you, but not surprised...

I have 2 kids, 16 & 7, both girls & no way, no how, if I was still a single mom, would I even THINK about leaving them alone in a possible ice storm for an entire weekend. The facility should have cut you some slack & let you bring the kids, at the very least, especially since you had been a good employee for 4 yrs. Oh, well.... Things happen for a reason & they probably don't realize that they just did you a BIIIIGGGG favor, by terminating you. Hmmmmm, I wonder if being fired b/c of a child care/weather issue would be grounds to receive unemployment?

rach_nc_03 · Jan 30, 2005

I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. QUOTE]
I hate to say this, but the rest of the staff should not have to make up for the fact that you have children. In the last year I have been the one that covers for my co-worker that has children (I am single) every time there is a hurricane alert, someone at home is ill, there is a school play or wants to spend time with the kids during school break. I realize that family is importent, but during my father's recent illness was able to commute 240 miles on my days off to help take care of him and still cover all my shifts and on call time. The only time I took off was for his funeral (first time in the 5 years that have been here that took time off without months notice) and got all sorts of abuse from her when got back as she missed a basketball game for her son. Considering that I cover for her 1-2/week and was stuck at the hospital for the last 2 hurricanes I thought this was unfair. So I told her that would no longer be available to cover for her and would have to schedule these events around her work schedule. She spent most of friday afternoon in my bosses office and then her directors office and am expecting the worst on monday.
well, the truth is that there are people at *both* ends of the parental spectrum- your coworker at one end, and people like wendy at the other. they're barely the same species, the way I see it! back when i was in the corporate world, i got put in a group full of the parents of young children. as the only childless person in a group of 6, I was *always* expected, by my coworkers, to go to every single conference out of town, stay late for every conference call, etc, so they could take the kids here, there, and everywhere. if this happened once or twice, no big deal. but it was CONSTANT. Once, my dog broke his leg, and I called my coworker to cover me for 5 hours at an in-town trade show so I could take him to the vet...she got miffed. a month before, she'd backed out of a major international show, and I had to give all her presentation on no notice- her two kids were sick with ear infections, and she called out the night before we were to fly out.
now, my point is this: some people will abuse you, and if they happen to have kids, they're likely to use them as scapegoats. others use their pets, some use parents they care for- some just make stuff up. sometimes, you get stuck in a situation like the one I was in- which was unusual, as they were *all* abusing me (strength in numbers and imitation, probably). but, usually, there are maybe a couple of these types in a given work environment. I used to take the slack for everyone else (in my old career), but now that I'm in school, I can't do it at this job. when i took the job, that was one of the conditions- my classes come *first*. obviously, we don't make stipulations like that when considering children and jobs...employers aren't legally allowed to ask questions like, 'which will come first, this job, or your kids?' and I'd wager nobody would volunteer the answer to such a question in an interview.
putting the *safety* of your children over your job is highly commendable, wendy. I applaud you. were I the person who got called in the day you didn't come in, I'd initially be a little irked at you- til I found out you called days before and tried to get some alternative worked out. then, i'd be mad at the manager. were you the type to use your kids as a call-out excuse *all* the time (and obviously, you're not!), then yes, I'd assume it was simply an excuse. but, obviously, you're not. the people here who are comparing wendy to those types really need to take *her* situation for what it is, and not lump her in with the types I described above.

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Jan 30, 2005

Wendy,

I am sorry you were fired for being a responsible parent. It is so difficult to be a good employee, a good nurse, and a good parent these days. I am sure that some of the people you worked with know the story but I would make it very clear YOU tried to work out some sort of remedy but administration did not/would not cooperate. While everything is fresh in your mind please take a few minutes to jot down what happened starting at the beginning, put in date, times you talked, name and position of person you spoke with. I hope you file for unemployment compensation, I have a feeling this company thinks it can do whatever it wants to do with employees, but I think you will win your compensation. Good luck and let us know what you are doing and how you are doing. Remember God does not close a door until He opens a window, you may find a better working environment at a new job and especially one where employee are recognized as humans with problems and needs.

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jan 30, 2005

They showed you how they feel about you by firing you. It was already said; blessing in disguise. You were a model employee. They screwed you. Screw THEM.
Best wishes my friend.

Whoooooooooooooooooooooot !!! Leave it to Deb to tell it like it is !

I just LOVED this !!! Way to go, Deb !

It's true, however.

If they have no concern for the welfare of your family in an ice storm of this magnitude, knowing full well you had attempted everything and given them plenty of notice... and still felt you should neglect the safety of your children.. what kind of "nurses" ARE these folks, anyway??? :rolleyes: HUH? Sure wouldn't want one of THEM ever caring for ME !!!

You'll be just FINE, Wendy. We're pullin' for ya ! :kiss

Dixielee, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2005

Wendy, just out of curiousity, how bad did the weather get? I have family in Dawsonville Ga and they are without power and sitting in the middle of the ice storm. I see they have nearly closed the airports in Atlanta and in North and South Carolina. Just wondering how you are faring, good luck, and yes, you are better off without those jerks as employers!