** revised ** I'm doing my research for my future nursing career . I'm reading that nursing schools are approximately 90% females of which many are single and in late 20's early 30's.
It quickly dawned on me that I've never been in an environment like this: lot's and lot's of women. Smart women. Probably good looking too ;-) . And we'd be working together side by side through thick and thin to get through school. And later on the job. hmm.
Which brings me to lots of questions about myself working so closely with women. I'm learning quite a bit from my experience of posting this thread so far. Like I said, this is new territory for me.
What was your experience in nursing school? Was there male/female tension in this environment? Did you/any one you know struggle with this? Guys, Has nursing, aka working closely with mostly women, negatively impacted any of your relationships?
Mr_D, as a male working in the ER I've always been outnumbered. Yes, you will work with a lot of attractive and intelligent people, both men and women. It's like anything in life though; people bring their personal biases and judgements with them. It's just a matter of acting professional. . . . . . I think it goes back to the most basic concepts, put forth what you want to receive.
My 2 Cents
Thanks for your thoughful response. I'm beginning to see that being surrounded by "women professionals" is what I need to keep in mind.
I thought of this thread a lot yesterday as walking across campus to my Chemistry class. I purposely related to the young women I encountered as people who were studying hard and working hard to create a life for themselves. I still noticed if the were attractive, but it wasn't the only thing. I suppose I was actively taking attractiveness off the pedastol and placing it among all their other qualities. It was a good exercise. In general, I was more present to my surroundings.
I saw another post where male nurses were looked at as the "heavy lifters". I can say, after going through BSN/RN, that I wouldn't want to be viewed that way. I can lift, and as a male nurse and Professional, that is not my only purpose. Same with every other quality each nurse brings to the job. I like your adage "put forth what you want to receive". I will take that one with me. Thanks again for your thoughtful response.
At my school we had an instructor who favored the girls over the guys. It was pretty annoying because we had to prove ourselves instead of being given the benefit of the doubt from day one unlike the girls.
I have also worked with a few nurses in the hospital that don't believe that men should be nurses. They are always rude to the men and seek out other female nurses before asking a man for help.
Interesting post. I wasn't thinking of this type of male/female tension, however I would guess it's more prevalent. I can easily see this being the norm for individuals especially if they don't work well with others, men or women.
After reading different text about males entering nursing, I think I'm prepared for this. It will still be somewhat of a shock. Certainly not feeling welcomed or accepted would be a downer.
When I became a nurse it was for job flexibility in hours as I raised our 4 kids. I never even thought of gender differences, nor do I today. To have that on your mind as you work takes from the "team" concept.
I have on several occasions been approached by some female nurses in jaw dropping fashion and had I been in the same mindset as when I was a drummer, patients would have been my bottom priority.
It sure helps to have a sense of humor but most of all, NEVER EVER THINK we (men) come close to the capabilities of a woman.
If I am fortunate enough to be around to vote for a woman running for president, she has my vote.
I have also been in work environments where the supervision had a blatent resentment against men but usually learned fast and moved along to another workplace.
While in nursing school I saw many women with 4,5 and more kids, no child support and no income yet they not only graduated but never complained of their situations. It was then I realized what women are made of.
Today I am 61, look 81 and feel 101 and when looking back still am amazed at what I did for 30 years.
Mr D wrote: What was your experience in nursing school? Was there male/female tension in this environment? Did you/any one you know struggle with this? Guys, Has nursing, aka working closely with mostly women, negatively impacted any of your relationships?
Reply : 25 years ago there were no men in the BSN program I attended. Sorry. However here in St Joseph MO there are an unusual number of men entering nursing and has been for many years. Why? the money.
I've been a nurse for 18 years now and only once did I feel any real sexual tension.
Oh sure there is innocent flirtations where both parties realize that nothing would ever come of it. Just joking around amongst friends.
But one time I did feel the tension. I worked closely with another nurse. We both were married at the time and never really intended to do anything but we both could feel the attraction.
It's not a comfortable thing but we were good friends and both professionals.
We discussed it and both of us agreed to keep our relationship professional.
We were (are) both devoted to our respective spouses then and now.
Sexual tension can be very real. You spend so much of your time at work that bad decisions can easily be made.
I have had a few "wolves" after me in the work place, not only in healthcare but everywhere! But I just try to pay attention to gut feelings & try not to walk alone to the dark areas of the building. Innocent flirtations are the usual, though, it's kept to mostly comedy! One of my employees delved into a relationship with another employee 10 years her junior, & almost lost her mind over it...it created tension for everyone who knew them, i had to call them off like dogs in heat! Very annoying!!!!
As a man in nursing I can tell you that while I understand your concern with maturity, tact and respect you'll be fine. I am married and would be uncomfortable with even "inocent flirting" so that isent an issue for me. I have seen other guy's flirt and it always bites them in the ass. even if the target of there attention isent upset, the other staff will be.
As for sexual or "inocent" sexist remarks/jokes : dont do it ever .. it is social suicide on a nurseing unit. I get treated to all sorts of male bashing jokes. I just smile and never say a word and dont let it effect me. I would never consider rebuting or exchanging thes type of coments. for 1 thing I don't like sexist jokes aimed at either sex but mostly I know sooner or later I would upset someone so I dont do it. just becuse they make a coment or tell a joke, dont think it will be acceptable to them if you make one back.
AS far as sneeking a peek or admiring someone. Dont do it, it
makes women uncomfortable. It take practice but you will start to notice when your doing it and just stop then. make a concious effoprt to look women in the eyes.
I also learned a hard lesson early in my nursing career and that is to be very conscouis of things you do that may be percived as sexul in nature to others. I tend to touch people when I greet them, I usual pat them on the back or touch threre arm. Once I put my hand out to greet a friend on the shoulder and she moved and my hand brushed behind her arm on her back. I recived word from my director that she was considering sexual harrassment charges, allthough we were able to work it out and she accepted my apolagy I will never make that mistake again. I feel that it was completely illogical that she thought I was harrassing her but have chosen to see it as here right to difine what is inapproprate to her and wont place myslef in that situation ever again.
I'm on a friend comp and am unable to look back and get the name of the guy that said that women are supieror in ability WTF?
I'm sorry but that's just bologna men and women are diferent but neither are better or more capable then the other.
And the nurse who said that men are coming to nursing for the money.. I need to know where you work becuse The money here is nothing that would attract a person to nursing.
anyway there is my obligatory response to a men in nursing post just cant pass 1 up .. let the flames roll......
P.S. sorry for my spelling and gramer short on time and no spell check (gah)
Dayray wrote And the nurse who said that men are coming to nursing for the money.. I need to know where you work becuse The money here is nothing that would attract a person to nursing.
Sue reply: I live in St Joseph MO. 60 miles north of Kansas City. And Yes the guys do go into nursing for the money. They is little else here that pays as well. Most jobs here are unskilled and pay $10 an hour. Top of the pay scale here is over $28 an hour. Pretty good. Most nurses here make a very decent living even with working minimal overtime. They more than I do in management.
You are so busy with study groups and test every week if your single you become like a Monk when i finished school i truly let my hair my down while in school there was a girl i was attracted to too we dated breifly she failed the course . you will be attracted to the girls but your concentration iis so focused that you won't have time to think about girls my class was 98% women but we all worked so hard during the semester and the end of the semester we socialized went to price is right game show , bars and the like after finals we enjoyed each other company. we need male nurses sit back enjoy the view but work hard alot of marriages slometime start in Nursing school .
I graduated from nursing school 18 yrs ago. For me, nursing school was, at once, horrible and insipiring. Horrible in the sense that all of my instructors, save one, felt it inappropriate for me to be in the program. Inspiring in the sense that all of my classmate "family" and the lone instructor rallyed round me at the unfair treatment I'd been given. I was the only guy in a class of 100. Don't misunderstand, I was not coddled, or pampered by the women in my class. Ocassionally, I was the recipient of "tuff love" so to speak. We studied together, worked together, socialized together. We all worked hard for our degrees. I was given nothing but love and encouragement from my "siblings." I count myself a better man for it.
Mr-D, you need to get over yourself, grow up, and get a grip. If you are so concerned about, as you say, "sexual tension" then you are obviously not very secure in your own masculinity. I have only ever treated my collegues with respect, and only ever received the same in return. As a result, I have a large extended family. It seems to me, that is the kind of relationship you should seek to foster with your nursing collegues, and nothing more. My wife of 18 years feels the same. So strongly, in fact, that we named one of my "sisters" to be gaurdian of our three children should we pre-decease them.
Three things come to mind at this point:
1) What would Jesus do? Read the Book!!
2) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Think about that next time you want to sneak a peek!!
I've been a nurse for 18 years now and only once did I feel any real sexual tension. . . .
. . . . I worked closely with another nurse. We both were married at the time and never really intended to do anything but we both could feel the attraction. . . .
. . . . We discussed it and both of us agreed to keep our relationship professional. . . . .
. . . .Sexual tension can be very real . . . . bad decisions can easily be made. I'm real glad I didn't go there.
-Russell
Rustyhammer I appreciate your response. I've read it several times -- thank's for sharing, being real, and quite supportive.
I agree -- bad choices do have bad consequences. I am a choice-maker. . . .
I liked how you resolved it, that was a class act -- glad for both of you that it worked out the way it did.
Mr_D
62 Posts
Thanks for your thoughful response. I'm beginning to see that being surrounded by "women professionals" is what I need to keep in mind.
I thought of this thread a lot yesterday as walking across campus to my Chemistry class. I purposely related to the young women I encountered as people who were studying hard and working hard to create a life for themselves. I still noticed if the were attractive, but it wasn't the only thing. I suppose I was actively taking attractiveness off the pedastol and placing it among all their other qualities. It was a good exercise. In general, I was more present to my surroundings.
I saw another post where male nurses were looked at as the "heavy lifters". I can say, after going through BSN/RN, that I wouldn't want to be viewed that way. I can lift, and as a male nurse and Professional, that is not my only purpose. Same with every other quality each nurse brings to the job. I like your adage "put forth what you want to receive". I will take that one with me. Thanks again for your thoughtful response.
Mr_D