Questions about male/female tension in the nursing environment

[Mr_D]

** revised ** I'm doing my research for my future nursing career . I'm reading that nursing schools are approximately 90% females of which many are single and in late 20's early 30's.

It quickly dawned on me that I've never been in an environment like this: lot's and lot's of women. Smart women. Probably good looking too ;-) . And we'd be working together side by side through thick and thin to get through school. And later on the job. hmm.

Which brings me to lots of questions about myself working so closely with women. I'm learning quite a bit from my experience of posting this thread so far. Like I said, this is new territory for me.

What was your experience in nursing school? Was there male/female tension in this environment? Did you/any one you know struggle with this? Guys, Has nursing, aka working closely with mostly women, negatively impacted any of your relationships?

Thx!

Mr_D

[Mr_D]

Originally posted by Dayray

. . . I am married and would be uncomfortable with even "innocent flirting" so that isn't an issue for me. I have seen other guy's flirt and it always bites them in the ass. . .

. . . As for sexual or "innocent" sexist remarks/jokes : don't do it ever .. it is social suicide on a nursing unit. . . .

. . . AS far as sneeking a peek or admiring someone. Don't do it, it

makes women uncomfortable. It take practice but you will start to notice when your doing it and just stop then. make a concious effoprt to look women in the eyes. . .

This is great -- you should write the book.

I learned a long time ago to be careful of flirting at work -- was never that comfortable at it and that was before harassament lawsuits were common. Same with jokes -- only tell jokes to others who tell jokes -- not much problem there either b/c I can't remember them anyway.

Now the looking at the chest and sneek-a-peek thing, I have found that challenging -- and was so glad to hear you say it takes practice and being conscious of what you are doing. Also -- I realize this is not acceptable behaviour, that's my motivator for opening this thread.

I think you have considered this, along with a few others on this thread that I am an average middle-class guy. I write this b/c a thread is topical and some posters respond only to what's been written and forget the writer. To put the writer in perspective, my propensity to looking at the chest / sneak-a-peak isn't an obsessive thing for me. Sometimes I do it and most of the time not -- depends where I'm at and who I'm with. And I know it's not totally uncommon. Women friends have told it's not surprising when men look.

I also realized, like getting hit with a brick, this formula wouldn't work in a the 95% female nursing environment -- "sometimes" would be too much. In my current line of work, I go for months without ever seeing a woman on-the-job. This nursing thing is so way out of my box. I plan on investing a lot of time and energy in this, I'm doing what it takes to be prepared for this environment. Again I appreciate your feedback, I'll take it to heart.

Thanks again.

Mr_D.

[Mr_D]

Originally posted by spot

Mr-D, you need to get over yourself, grow up, and get a grip.

Fair enough.

If you are so concerned about, as you say, "sexual tension" then you are obviously not very secure in your own masculinity.

C'mon, you can do better that this. That's a low-blow (pun intended). Why not try eating your own dogfood:

1) What would Jesus do? 3) When in doubt, see number 1.

Scratch out my eyes? OK.... What would Mohammad do? :-)

regards,

Mr_D

[PlanetCaroline]

Interesting thread. Having been in a male dominated fields...here is my 2 cents.

1) I'm always boy crazy in new schools, towns, & jobs. It's the novelty. When I moved to Chicago, I thought every guy was gorgeous. After awhile, I got over it.

2) I have had crushes on coworkers & even bosses. That lasts five minutes though. Once the novelty of the job wears off, so does the crush. One time a guy I was intimate with hired me for a summer college painting job thingy. Him bossing me around killed any chance of him getting nookie. I hated him sooo much that summer. What a slave driver. Didn't fool around with him again until we had different jobs.

3) Never dated a coworker, but have dated ppl I met through work. Conferences, professional meet & greets, etc. are great places to meet cool people. One of my favorite relationships was with a guy in the same field & in the same building. We had a lot of fun, but we never worked together.

I think it's okay to hope that your dating potential will increase with the infusion of women coworkers in your life. It might, but not necessarily directly. Pay attention to how your female coworkers treat you...they will treat you the way you treat them...

Do you want to be regarded as a valued coworker with an awesome attitude & great sense of humor or as a dog. You decide.

---

Caroline

[NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN]

Ultimately, I think that you'll find that this may not be an issue for you anyway. I hate to break it to you, but chances are mighty high that your classmates or co-workers will not be taut little bandaid bunnies with silky locks a flowin'. More likely, the only question to themselves on the way out the door is, "Do these cheerios stuck to my cheek make me more alluring?" or those who say, as they pass the hall mirror, "Damn, but that oil in my hair makes it shine like the sun!".

Even then it's unlikely that the give a flying hoot. Nursing school/work leaves little time for primping, I'm afraid, and scrubs are no latex minidress.

Does that make you feel better?

Plus, after hearing your female co-workers complaining all the time (come on, ladies, don't argue with me on *this* one...) you'll be damn glad that you got married to someone else when you did.

Lastly, if you're worried about fumbling for compliments at work and maintaining political correctness, remember this:

Saying, "Wow, Mary, I see you bathed today!" (even if it is completely sincere) is probably as bad an idea as whistling when she bends over to retrieve a syringe on the floor.

[agent]

great post NICU nurse..

you hit it right on the head.. all the student nurses ive met dont primp at all, its no-nonsense work. Doesn't mean they aren't pretty girls, just means they aren't there to play games.

MR_D if you want to be taken seriously you'll need to grow up and get over your member

[ainz]

Became a "male" nurse in 1985. Most of my career as a staff nurse and nurse manager I was the only male on the unit. My first job on a floor got kind of difficult as I was approached by 4 women all wanting to go out with me, 3 of them were married. I ended up leaving that job for another one. Other than this I have had no problems, in school or at work with the male/female issue.

I have suspected that I was passed over for promotion to DON one time because I was male but this did not come from nursing, came from administration who were all male. Strange.

[Mr_D]

Originally posted by ainz

Became a "male" nurse in 1985. . . . . . My first job on a floor got kind of difficult as I was approached by 4 women all wanting to go out with me, 3 of them were married. I ended up leaving that job for another one. Other than this I have had no problems, in school or at work with the male/female issue. . . . .

That's intense.

How did you respond to them? What's the story behind you leaving? did you HAVE to leave? or was it something more benign e.g. better opportunity. Pls share any wisdom gained from your experiences -- glad to hear haven't had any challenges since.

Mr_D

[Mr_D]

Originally posted by NICU_Nurse

. . . . . Lastly, if you're worried about fumbling for compliments at work and maintaining political correctness, remember this:

Saying, "Wow, Mary, I see you bathed today!" (even if it is completely sincere) is probably as bad an idea as whistling when she bends over to retrieve a syringe on the floor.

I feel better! thanks for a great laugh!!

Mr_D

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

ainz- times have changed...in fact I think you may be having delusions of grandeur.

But if what you report is factual, perhaps you were passed up for promotion because your were such a distraction for all those weak willed women- and not just because you were a guy.

[Paul Oliver]

I'd like to reply to the contributor who stated that men were entering nursing "for the money," as if that was a bad thing.

It's good to see that nurses are rewarded for their contributions. If guys are starting to enter the profession in larger numbers, so what?

No gender owns any vocation. Not anymore and never really did.

In the days of ancient Rome, the equivalent job of plumber was a female occupation because dealing with water was considered to be feminine.

In the 17th and 18th centuries, before union apprenticeships, trades were passed along through guilds. The knitters guilds were all male, as were tailors. Find a man who knits now. The best chefs were men, but the mistress of a French King founded the Cordon Bleu school to prove that women could be fine chefs too and proved by blind taste tests.

I'm a technician working in an environment where many of the engineers are women and I don't resent anybody who does their job well. Both my supervisors are women.

Things change and there's no sense "cherry picking" which changes should take place based on what you like or don't like.

That contributor will probably be glad to read that I'm "only" an RPN student,but that's a rebuttal for a differnt column.