Pushy family members??

Fiona59 · Jun 20, 2005

Its normal and management will always side with the family. Just document all your interactions with them and try and have a care aide with you for a witness.

There seems to always be a family who thinks their relative is the only person on the unit. Its amazing but the doctors will side with you before the administration. I remember one doctor who refused to treat a senior because of the family's attitude towards staff and their constant vocal criticism of the meds, etc. He simply said that since they seemed so unhappy with the care provided it was time for them to find a new doctor and to take Mum home with them until they could find a new care facilty for him.

To this day, he is loved by four LPNs and two RNs.:)

dbsn00 · Jun 21, 2005

Ah, customer service...I've learned the hard way :rolleyes: that most people are either very concerned about their relative or just plain NUTS!!! I try to be as nice as possible while explaining that I have to follow the MD's orders, if they have specific concerns perhaps they could speak with the MD personally. If they want a specific lab done I tell them I'll leave their request for the MD. If it's a real irrate relative or we're going over the same things day in & day out I send them to the charge nurse &/or unit manager (I can only keep my happy face on for so long & I like to share with my co-workers! ). There will always be people that you cannot satisfy so just follow your orders & document on the family's requests & your follow up to cover yourself. Good luck!

mandykal, ADN, RN · Jun 21, 2005

When I get report, and hear all the stories about so and so, I just paint a picture of what to expect, and as long as I know what needs to be done, I just kill them with kindness......

Schmoo1022 · Jun 21, 2005

Sounds like a fantastic doctor!

I do not mind trying to make families and patients happy, but when a COUSIN to the son of the patient asks me to take a fingerstick at 130pm, when the patient is due to have one at four pm, and is showing no signs of hyper/hypoglycemia! Then they write in their little notebooks that I didn't want to do a FS, but another nurse made me ?!?!?! It just gets me a little irked!!!

Can I say that you are not POA and you have nothing to do with patients care or what??

grannynurse FNP student · Jun 21, 2005

Guess some of you would just hate me then. I have monitored my parents hospital admissions for one reason, and one reason only, errors. Errors by the nursing staff add to the number of days a patient is hospitalized and complications. I would venture to guess, a member of this family has had a negative experience, either themself or someone they love, in a hospital. And now watch in an attempt to ensure that it does not ahppen again. I would suggest, that instead of complaining, one ask the family why. They might just need reassurance.

Grannynurse :balloons:

lifesaverwv · Jun 21, 2005

Hi, unfortunately we deal with these folks on occasion. One particlular family comes to mind. The mother is 80 & is a pleasant lady to take care of. The problem is her daughter who is a nurse, who happens to be married to a doc.

As my grandma used to say, the daughter thinks her "s##t doesn't stink :) but anyway. there was a day when several of us were turning her mom, including the pts daughter. We found out later that her daughter, reported us

to her hubby the doc, that we had "manhandled" her Mom, which wasn't true!

She was one of the people helping us turn her Mom. Try to keep a stiff upper lip & do the best that you can in these situations.

Schmoo1022 · Jun 21, 2005

Oh, please don't get me wrong. I HAVE had a bad experience at a hospital w/ my sister, so I understand about wanting to make sure the care is the best it can be. I guess I have issue with this family, becuase their mom is stable, but we have residents who are not..and they basically want one on one care. I always go out of my way with this family and it is really starting to wear on me.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jun 21, 2005

Guess some of you would just hate me then. I have monitored my parents hospital admissions for one reason, and one reason only, errors. Errors by the nursing staff add to the number of days a patient is hospitalized and complications. I would venture to guess, a member of this family has had a negative experience, either themself or someone they love, in a hospital. And now watch in an attempt to ensure that it does not ahppen again. I would suggest, that instead of complaining, one ask the family why. They might just need reassurance.
Grannynurse :balloons:

This is a good example of the "us vs. them" mentality that we often see...And this is coming from a nurse educator.It's great to be involved in your care or that of your loved one but don't automatically assume that all floor nurses are dumb -we aren't...Those of us out there know that re-assuring family members (over and over again ) often must come dead last on the long list of things to do....

These people may not have ever experienced any type of mistake-they just have NO idea what the nurse's responsibilities are.....If they don't recognize us as professionals they will tend to look down on us and consider themselves of superior intelligence....It is often a control issue masked with concern...Once you figure that out it's easy to let the problem loved one THINK they are in control and you highly value their input....while you go on and do what you have to do..

lewwilann · Jun 21, 2005

one of my newer resident's daughters brought in a 10 page list of instructions on how to take care for dad. Most of them are basic nursing care...flush the g tube after feedings, don't mix meds with feeding, but she also wants a complete bed bath each day lasting 30-45 minutes, toes cleaned with toothets, wash and rinse twice, turn every 45 minutes to an hr...etc.

Most of her and others issues deal with bad experiences. The man got a stage 3 decub at an other LTC. Yep we vent in the staff lounge, but most of the time they aren't wacko....just dealing, in a bad way, with the placement of a loved one. Try to meet their and the residents needs...finding our what the "problem" really is also helps.

Now....I've dealt with my share of wackos, too.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jun 21, 2005

one of my newer resident's daughters brought in a 10 page list of instructions on how to take care for dad. Most of them are basic nursing care...flush the g tube after feedings, don't mix meds with feeding, but she also wants a complete bed bath each day lasting 30-45 minutes, toes cleaned with toothets, wash and rinse twice, turn every 45 minutes to an hr...etc.
Most of her and others issues deal with bad experiences. The man got a stage 3 decub at an other LTC. Yep we vent in the staff lounge, but most of the time they aren't wacko....just dealing, in a bad way, with the placement of a loved one. Try to meet their and the residents needs...finding our what the "problem" really is also helps.
Now....I've dealt with my share of wackos, too.

:rotfl: Our DON would call a meeting and show them our facility's policies and procedures and then give them the list of other LTC's in this area....THat one is ALL about control-clean between the toes with toothettes! That's a new one....too funny....That is WACKO!!!

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Jun 21, 2005

Hey...thanks, I never thought about actually showing her our P & P for things.

2 weeks ago she yelled at me for "Not cleaning his 'but hole' good enough and thats not the right way to do it" This poor man is to get his rectal tube changed EVERY day. Of course it was clean...I wanted to tell her its so clean you could eat off of it, but I'm not sure she would appreciate my humor :rotfl: