Pushy family members??

[sharlynn]

(Quote)I do not mind trying to make families and patients happy, but when a COUSIN to the son of the patient asks me to take a fingerstick at 130pm, when the patient is due to have one at four pm, and is showing no signs of hyper/hypoglycemia! Then they write in their little notebooks that I didn't want to do a FS, but another nurse made me ?!?!?! It just gets me a little irked!!!

Had to respond to this one. My sister, a brittle diabetic, always has problems with nurses refusing to do fingersticks until they are scheduled. She has had enough reactions to know she is in trouble long before there are visible symptoms.

[Schmoo1022]

[Had to respond to this one. My sister, a brittle diabetic, always has problems with nurses refusing to do fingersticks until they are scheduled. She has had enough reactions to know she is in trouble long before there are visible symptoms.

If a patient told me they weren't "feeling right" or they just weren't right to me, of course I would take a FS!! Am I supposed to stick this poor patient's finger everytime Joe Schmoo's great cousin, four times removed asks me too?? This patient is hospice care and the last time another nurse did a stick at different time and got 213, he reacted with " Why did you do a FS now? Was she symptomatic? " Nurse replied, "no, family requested it." and then he said " which one of you is the nurse? Wait to the 4:30 BS as I ordered". I am all for families that really want to be part of the patients care, but how far are we supposed to go? For every family member? I mean shouldn't we only be dealing with POA anyway?? The patient by the way is a peach!!

By the way Toothetts between the toes...you win hands down!!!

[Schmoo1022]

I know this family cares about the patient very much, and they really are wonderful to her. It really isn't a problem trying to make one or two of them happy...it's trying to make the WHOLE clan happy...they are at the facility all the time, on rotating shifts, all wanting something done immediately!! That is what is wearing me down. I feel like I make one happy and here comes another one. Maybe I need to change to third shift?? I think I am getting burnt out!!

[FutureIsBlue, LPN, LVN]

Hey...thanks, I never thought about actually showing her our P & P for things.

2 weeks ago she yelled at me for "Not cleaning his 'but hole' good enough and thats not the right way to do it" This poor man is to get his rectal tube changed EVERY day. Of course it was clean...I wanted to tell her its so clean you could eat off of it, but I'm not sure she would appreciate my humor :rotfl:

LOL!!! That's hilarious...Thanks for making me laugh.

[sheri_w]

I've got one. I work in a large MR DDS facility. We have one young man who's family is very involved. He has numerous allergies ( according to mom ). One day she called, said her sister, who lived in another state, had a sinus headache, could we give her son some Tylenol cause he probably had one too.

sheri

[AussieKylie]

Yeah, there can be pushy family members for sure.

I am Patient carer in a hospital and so I help the RNs out with cares. HOwever the other day this patients daughter advises if her moms dentures can be cleaned. I didnt object and it was no problem either. HOwever it made me think, family members should too help out if they can. I just thought that the daughter could have cleaned the dentures if she was so particular. Again no objection to the order but still. Like she helped feed her mom with lunch so that is good. Every little bit helps.

I guess there are families out there that are worse, get on your nerves and make you pack the job in. Communicating to the family is important and I guess too being overprotective but it should not mean we act likes slaves to that one patient as there are others that deserve the care too.

[Blackcat99]

I know this family cares about the patient very much, and they really are wonderful to her. It really isn't a problem trying to make one or two of them happy...it's trying to make the WHOLE clan happy...they are at the facility all the time, on rotating shifts, all wanting something done immediately!! That is what is wearing me down. I feel like I make one happy and here comes another one. Maybe I need to change to third shift?? I think I am getting burnt out!!

Yes that's the most wonderful thing about working night shift- not having to deal with family members.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

I've got one. I work in a large MR DDS facility. We have one young man who's family is very involved. He has numerous allergies ( according to mom ). One day she called, said her sister, who lived in another state, had a sinus headache, could we give her son some Tylenol cause he probably had one too.

sheri

:rotfl:

[mtnmom]

I work in ER - when I get family members that are pushy , sometimes I have to bite my lip but I always validate their concerns by telling them something to the effect that "it is really good in this day and time to pay attention and be knowledgeable/involved, etc. in their or their loved ones healthcare". My exact version of what I say depends on the patient. This usually seems to empower them a little and let them know I am on their side. I try my best to explain what I am doing or what med I am giving in terms they can understand.

I will admit there are times when even that doesnt work. Some people just enjoy being control freaks and pushy for the heck of it. Those people I just try to kill with kindness and count the minutes till they're outta my ER!

[kathc]

One good thing about being an LPN and working the day shift. If my explanation to family members doesn't seem to be enough, I refer them to the charge nurse or our nurse manager. :)

My favorite is when the resident calls a family member, that calls us to tell us that they need something. Apparently we take too long to answer call bells.

I really don't mind family members being involved. But I also like them to realize that I have 15 other residents that want their meds on time and treaments done...I just can't go in every 5 minutes to do something that is non-emergency and can wait. And the aides have at least 8 residents to get up before noon and can't get a resident up and down in chair as requested (those with hoyer lifts). We have one family that requires us to jump as soon as they get there to get their family member up with a hoyer into the chair. And then we have to put her back to bed before they leave.

When my Grandma as in respite care, I would take her to the bathroom in order to help out. I knew how it was and wanted to help out. On the other hand I did not care to hear the LPN tell me how "busy" she was - especially when we hadn't asked anything of her.

We really try to help family members understand the routine of the floor and work with them. But some just don't get it.

[debroh1]

Guess some of you would just hate me then. I have monitored my parents hospital admissions for one reason, and one reason only, errors. Errors by the nursing staff add to the number of days a patient is hospitalized and complications. I would venture to guess, a member of this family has had a negative experience, either themself or someone they love, in a hospital. And now watch in an attempt to ensure that it does not ahppen again. I would suggest, that instead of complaining, one ask the family why. They might just need reassurance.

Grannynurse :balloons:

I agree and encourage family participation for just that reason. We only keep three months of documentation on the chart before it is thinned. Sometimes the family will remember that something was already tried and didn't work. There is a thin line though to being an advocate and concerned family member to being neurotic and unrealistic. I have families that I love to see everyday and then there are the ones that when they walk through the door you cringe. You take the nice with the unpleasent and eventually learn how to deal with them, and what they want to hear and see. One wife was very critical of her husband's care, his hair had to be combed just a certain way and then pushed forward just so that it would look fuller on top. After hearing her complain everyday over this and other things, I started walking into his room on my way up the hall in the morning and fixing his hair exactly how she wanted it. When she would come in after breakfast she was soo happy to see his hair the way she wanted it, that she soon forgot about all her other complaints that could not be fixed (his general decline d/t health, not neglect as she made it seem at first). The key is to try and figure out what you can correct and work from there. Sometimes its the little things that we do that will make them happy. And sometimes their guilt over LTC placement will never allow them to be happy over their loved ones care.

[dinkymouse]

WE have all had pushy family members. I think that some of it is because they feel some guilt about their family member being in there or in my ex father-in-laws case he felt really bad because he had been verbally and physically abuse to his wife. He badgered aides, nurses and management constantly. She had MS and after she died he was positive that the facility was responsible because they gave her morphine.