pts who say "it's ok" and it's not!

[RNsRWe]

Ok, a pretty vague title, but this is ticking me off. Have a patient who stays on the phone all night and has a roommate who would like to sleep. I know this because I have both patients and it's obvious the non-chatting roommate is tossing and turning, pulling blanket up over head, etc.

So I ask Chatty Cathy if she wouldn't mind wrapping up the phone call (it was 0030, late enough, yes?) because her roommate was trying to sleep. So Miss Chatty says "she's asleep, and she doesn't mind anyway, I asked her earlier". I look over at roommate, who is wide awake, and say "she's not sleeping". I ask roommate, "are you having a hard time sleeping because of the phone conversation?" and Chatty Cathy interrupts "she said it was fine, it isn't bothering her." So I look at roommate, who says "it's not bothering me, it's fine". So Chatty Cathy proceeds to go off on how she always talks QUIETLY (nothing she ever does is quiet) and she was CONSIDERATE of her roommate (another never). Meanwhile, the roommate is again pulling covers up over her ears, while SHAKING HER HEAD that it obviously wasn't the case!

So I have to have Miss Chatty all harumphing that I'm bothering HER about her incessant phone calls, and meanwhile the roomate IS being bugged, but when I tried to intervene on her behalf, she made me look like a PITA. Nice. So much for trying to help....argh.

[vashtee, RN]

It would be hard to be sick enough to be hospitalized and to be expected to be ready to do battle with your room mate at the same time. I would have just asked the chatty one to hang up so her room mate could get much-needed rest. I would not have expected the quiet one to say anything at all. She has to "live" in that room, rather than "visit" like a nurse would.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

Just another reason I really think double rooms should be a thing of the past.

[Bree124, BSN, RN]

You set her up--you didnt mean to of course, but she is polite and didnt want to be made the bad guy by having roommate hang up the phone. So she said it is not bothering her--just to keep the peace.

In the future I would say "Sorry Cathy but you and Nancy need to get your rest, so I need you to make your phone calls tomorrow in the day"

ITA - I know that you were trying to help, but you still put her in the hot seat by asking her to "back you up" and tell the chatty cathy that it was bothering her. Some people just really do not do well with confrontation, and this most likely made her extremely uncomfortable. I think next time it would be better to phrase it in terms of how it would help both of them (they are both obviously sick, if they're in the hospital) and say that you have to limit phone calls after XXpm unless it is an emergency. This way you are actually helping the roommate who is trying to sleep, rather than just making her feel uncomfortable with her roommate.

[mpccrn, BSN, RN]

seems to me you did what you could......when asked directly the bothered patient simply had to say 'yes'...i wouldn't waste another second on her, she was presented an opportunity to make things better for herself....guess she wasn't too bothered after all

[stillpressingon]

This has happened to me, too. I never try again to help someone who will not only not stand up for herself but who also won't even back me up when I go to bat for her. I have even been known to say, but, Mrs. Smith, you just told me it DOES keep you awake. does it or doesn't it? If she can't work up a little courage at that point, sorry, I have other stuff to do. I wonder how the topic came up between the roommates. Did the phoner ask the other one? Or what? Some people are just too timid.

I agree. It's not your job to be the "parent." If the annoyed pt is too "polite" to say anything, she's probably a major people-pleaser in general life and until she gets help for allowing herself to be walked over - even when someone is trying to help her - there's nothing you can do. I'm not trying to sound harsh - maybe Chatty Cathy is a bully and it's more to do with that than with the roomy being a push-over, but that's just my

I also agree with the person who posted about it being harassment to Chatty Cathy because the roommate WON'T speak up about it.

[racing-mom4, BSN, RN]

seems to me you did what you could......when asked directly the bothered patient simply had to say 'yes'...i wouldn't waste another second on her, she was presented an opportunity to make things better for herself....guess she wasn't too bothered after all

Yikes---so if you walk into a pts room and they are grimmacing in pain , hands are clenched up shallow breathing and you the nurse say "how ya feeling" and they respond "Oh OK" do you just walk out and chart "denies pain" ??

Your to be your patients advocate, dont expect them to be yours!

[Jolie, BSN]

Next time (and there will be a next time) I would suggest telling Chatty that she must either hang up the phone or go out to the lounge to continue her call. If she was well enough to talk incessantly, then she was well enough to do so in the lounge.

I realize that this is a bit of an "apples to oranges" comparison, since talking on the phone is not prohibited, but if Chatty had been smoking the OP would not have allowed her to continue, based on the room-mate's response. Same would probably go for a noisy crowd of visitors.

Sick people don't always have the gumption to confront rude behavior. Sometimes we have to do it for them.

[mpccrn, BSN, RN]

Yikes---so if you walk into a pts room and they are grimmacing in pain , hands are clenched up shallow breathing and you the nurse say "how ya feeling" and they respond "Oh OK" do you just walk out and chart "denies pain" ??

Your to be your patients advocate, dont expect them to be yours!

nope....they didn't deny pain.....confrontation at that point in the posters scenario would have been fruitless, the bothered patient was not 'bothered' enough to allow the nurse to intervene. personally, i'd give it a few minutes and go back in......ask if she was ready to sleep yet......an innocent enough question that is nonconfrontational and easier for her to say 'yes' to, at which point it would have been less aggressive appearing to limit the room mate......a seasoned nurse knows how to pick her battles, avoid outright confrontation and still meet the needs of BOTH her patients

[OregonGal]

Isn't it evidenced-based practice that quiet, restful environment aids in healing? Duh.....

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

next time (and there will be a next time) i would suggest telling chatty that she must either hang up the phone or go out to the lounge to continue her call. if she was well enough to talk incessantly, then she was well enough to do so in the lounge.

i realize that this is a bit of an "apples to oranges" comparison, since talking on the phone is not prohibited, but if chatty had been smoking the op would not have allowed her to continue, based on the room-mate's response. same would probably go for a noisy crowd of visitors.

sick people don't always have the gumption to confront rude behavior. sometimes we have to do it for them.

smoking isn't tolerated in hospitals at all these days, but noisy crowds of visitors? seems as if they're not only tolerated but welcomed. have to worry about those p-g scores after all!

[miko014]

A little off topic, I guess, but...what gets me about the phone usage is people who don't get off when we are in the room trying to provide treatment! They don't think anything of answering and conducting a long conversation while we are trying to listen to their lungs. :angryfire

I've gotten to the point where I just tell them, "I will come back later when you're done on the phone." I won't make other people wait for meds/treatments/etc while someone else has a conversation. If they complain about it later, I just tell them that they can't talk to me and be on the phone at the same time, and since wasn't important enough for them to get off the phone, they went to the bottom of the list after my other patients. Sorry for the hijack...we have mostly private rooms. Though I did get annoyed the other day with a patient who was complaining about the TVs of the other pts being too loud...they weren't. When we suggested she shut her door, she got all huffy. What a nightmare that was!

[truern]

Just another reason I really think double rooms should be a thing of the past.

They are at my hospital. Closest thing to a double room would be the cubicles in the ED or Day Surgery and they still have walls between them.