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N377311's Latest Activity

  1. N377311

    What do you say?

    So what do you tell your coworkers when you have to leave the floor to take a drug test? I have to go to an offsite facility and sometimes I’m gone for up to an hour and a half. I’m running out of excuses. My managers know and understand but it’s my coworkers that have no clue except that I’m leaving them to handle my patients when the load is already heavy enough....any good verbiage??
  2. So what does everyone use. Tried a certain brand. Feels more like bleach. Not loving it. Obviously doing the hand washing thing but working in a hospital we are not always near a sink and feel the need for hand sanitizing ... whats everyone’s choice of product?
  3. N377311

    Living while in TPAPN

    Hey all, husband and I have been going to the same concert for the last 20 years every summer. There tends to be a lot of pot smoking at the shows it’s just part of it. I’m just going for the music!! It’s a band we love dearly and it’s always been “our thing”. I won’t be drinking alcohol nor partaking in anything that is not TPAPN friendly. So my question is.... is second hand smoke a real thing?? I’ve always thought it was a bunch of bologna but I don’t want to have any issues with a failed drug screen. Advice/experience??
  4. N377311

    Positive drug screen for THC. Should I self-report?

    I worked until I had the contract in front of me and it stated I am not to work under my license until cleared by TPAPN. So I was able to work from Dec 5th until Jan 14th because that is how long the process took. Again, I did not self report. I couldn’t afford to. I decided to wait until they contacted me and it was not held against me. My term is 12 months as long as all goes well. Just staying completely compliant with everything. Praying I never get one of those false negatives people talk about and see my way through this period of my life. I def feel very criminalized. But I have to keep reminding myself I made a mistake and I’m not the person they are trying to convince me that I am. If you have a lawyer that has experience with this I would probably stick with it.
  5. N377311

    Allergies on TPAPN

    Sounds silly but Ive been scared to death to take anything but Motrin since this whole process started but I’m ready to rip my nose off my face with these south Texas allergies .... I know the TPAPN guidelines say Claritin and Zyrtec are usually safe to take but has any one had any bad/good experience with taking allergy meds while in the program???
  6. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    Just checking back in...I started my TPAPN contract officially Jan 15th. It’s been a ride for sure ... I recvd the clear to apply for a job 2 weeks ago... i was able to choose weekly counseling sessions with a drug therapist instead of the IOP. (Thank God!) been a blessing. Found a really great counselor that I probably should have been seeing all along .. im doing my daily check ins, I’m scared to death of forgetting one day. Sometimes I check the website multiple times a day just to make sure. Im also doing weekly meetings. I’m able to use my weekly church group as a support group and then I also attend celebrate recovery meetings. I haven’t gotten a sponsor, I hope this doesn’t harm my case?? I just find it hard to ask for a sponsor for this situation? My only stipulations are having to disclose the TPAPN thing to my employer, who then has to do quarterly reports. I don’t have any narcotic restrictions. My case manager waived them. I’ve been out of work 2 months now and I’m about to lose it. Somehow (by Gods Grace) we have been able to stay afloat but it’s getting scary. I’ve had an interview with a HH agency (case manager said those are accepted on a case by case basis) and a dialysis clinic. I have another interview next week with a LTACH. I’m kinda praying for the dialysis clinic. It’s something completely different than what I was doing before. The positives in all this... I’ve been home. Been able to be around for the kids. I’ve jazzed up the resume, written several cover letters, buffed up my interviewing skills ... sounds silly but it’s not easy putting yourself out there when you’ve been somewhere for years. The celebrate recovery meetings are pretty great. The teachings are helpful in a lot of areas of life not just addiction. I’ve started working out again dusted off the ol gym membership and get a good sweat going several times week There have been some very dark days. Days of feeling worthless. Failure type crap. Lies. I have to remind myself those thoughts are lies. I’m not a failure. I’m not worthless. I made a mistake. I’m a fallable human being. For a job offer!! The lucky person that gets me is gonna get themselves one hell of a motivated gal. I’m so ready to walk the nurse walk and talk the nurse talk again. I have that new nurse spirit in me again. All excited and ready to be let out into the world again.
  7. Well...I was fired and referred to TPAPN for MJ use without disclosure. It was my second failure after a bad bad decision to use over a weeks period (foolishly thinking its not enough to stay in my system) after referral, I completed my initial drug screen (neg) and the psych evaluation. 1 hour and about an 800 question test later my evaluator diagnosed me with cannabis use disorder, mild and recommended I not practice and participate in an IOP. Im an emotional wreck. To hear from a complete stranger that you are not fit to practice.... i don’t know what to expect next ... when this whole process started I found refuge in this site. The support and encouragement I received saw me through those very very dark first few days. Any thoughts, advice, encouragement you might have will be genuinely appreciated.
  8. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    I finally received my letter so I called and spoke with my case manager. He seemed helpful and explained the process. Which is exactly as everyone has explained. Looks like I will pay out of pocket for the evaluation because the only two providers that take insurance are a 5-6 hour drive. The evaluations range from $500 - $1300 in price. They included the prices with the information. I will probably pay out of pocket just to avoid the drive. I have 30 days to get the appointment scheduled and/or completed. Tomorrow is my drug test and then I hope to get this ball rolling. He did not state that I had to stop working agency and I didn't ask. I will keep working until they tell me otherwise so I can get some $$ put away until all this happens....I'll keep posting my updates as I have them. Hoping this information will someday help another person who is in my position and scared out of their wits like I was. This forum has definitely given me hope and encouragement to fight this battle.
  9. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    I don't know what I'd be doing right now with out all the support and advice. I'm hopeful. I'm still waiting for my referral letter from TPAPN but I've been doing agency in the mean time. I'm hoping I can get a couple more shifts in before all this happens. I truly believe this happened for a reason and I'll learn something coming out of it. And at the very least be able to help someone else out in my situation.
  10. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    I do find some comfort knowing what's in front of me. The scariest part was the unknown. But I love being a nurse. Gonna fight this battle. Glad I found a place to ask my questions and voice my thoughts. It truly does help. I hope I can return the favor one day.
  11. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    I know from my former manager I was referred, so now, I at least know to be expecting the contact from them ... uhhh what is the Lord trying to teach me on this one?? ... well, besides the whole you shouldn't have been doing that :/ Another question I had was, if I have insurance (through my husband) will that cover any of the evaluation process? I know I have to pay out of pocket for the screens but what about the psych evaluation? Again, I appreciate yalls support and information...you gave me back my hope and for that I'm so so grateful ...
  12. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    I do sincerely appreciate the advice. I will look into the lawyer thing. Not sure where to find one but I notice when I google search TPAPN they pop up before the actual TPAPN website.... im wondering when I do begin to apply for another job, do I disclose immediately the TPAPN possibility if not already in the program? I'm truly not a dishonest person. I'm a scared person which is why I did not disclose what I should have but I do want transparency I just need to know when to use it?? Another question I have is regarding my agency status....I am employed by one. I have read that I won't be able to do agency once I enter this program. Would you suggest I continue working until the actual referral is made or just stop all together? I don't have an issue with narcotics. Never taken them and never even been tempted. MJ is only something I used recreationally as I don't drink either. Either way I know it's illegal and I was wrong for risking it. I guess when you "get away" with something so long and you see all the legalization going on you really start to believe, "I'm not hurting anyone". Well turns out, might not be hurting anyone else but I sure did do a number to myself ... again, thanks for the support and advice. I think that as nurses one of the best things we can do is support each other and care for each other and lift each other up in times of need. If we can do it for our patients it should come easy to do it for one another ...
  13. N377311

    To TPAPN or not...

    Hi all, I'm need of some guidance, advice, opinions, prayer ... whatever you can throw my way. Recently terminated for a failed drug screen without disclosure of my poor judgment of using recreational MJ. I was told by my employer that I would be referred to TPAPN. The random caught me off guard, I got scared and didn't disclose what I just should have. I'm scared to death. To be honest. I don't know if I should refer myself. I don't know if I should just try and reapply somewhere else and hope I don't get referred ... I don't know what to do... I want to do what is right to correct my wrong. But I'm scared I won't be able to find employment if I start this TPAPN process and I can't NOT work. can anyone help me with some experience, advice. I'm so lost right now and I feel so broken... I'm trying to hold it together....