We have had countless threads involving nurse's beleif that we are professionals and should be treated as such.
I agree, even us lowly LPNs are professionals and should be treated as such. AFTER it is earned!
A degree/lisence does not a professional make. Respect, and the view of professionalism comes from the public. It is not something that can be assigned based on license or degree.
Yesterday, I was up at the hospital visiting my dad. He's nearly 82. This 26 (or so) year old nurse comes bee-boppin in and says "Hi Ray!". Then immediately turns to me and asks, "Does he go by Ray or Raymond?" WHAT!?
This little bimbette expects to be respected and treated as a professional and she has none for this man? A man who is very obviously her senior. A human being who should be treated with repect and she has no simple common courtesy, let alone professionalism.
Very simply I told her "he goes by Ray, but Mr. F******** would be much more appropriate.
How can nurses expect to be treated as professionals if they are not? No professional would have come into the room, first meeting, and spoken the client/pt in such a familiar manner. This is not a pediatric unit!
She was not the only person I have heard calling my dad by his first name. I would like ot know how many of you out there also show so little respect for your elders and what your rationale is for doin so.
On a m/s floor or any floor where you might see the patient only a day, perhaps two, three, even a week, ... then yes, I would first addresse him by his proper name... this has nothing to do strictly with NURSING per se, or even "professionalism"... just common courtesy.
Just the way I was raised perhaps.. but I do think we should wait until we become more familiar with the patient before we addresse by first name. Unless, of course, the patient offers with "oh, just call me Ray.. that would be fine !" Then, certainly, I would be happy to do just that.
As for the bippidy-boppidy nurse... I would not hold that against her... not at all.
As a patient, I would FAR prefer a spunky, happy nurse with a smile on her face, ready to reach out and be friendly than one who is all business.
Where I work, we addresse ALL our patients by first name... and many are quite elderly. Yet when they first come to us, we do use the "Mr./Mrs." ...at least long enough for introductions. :chuckle Before the day is out, they are on first name basis, and #1> They like it that way... and #2> They know they're going to be with us from this day forth, so they are joining a "family" of sorts.
I can see how it might have rubbed you the wrong way, but as mentioned above, there are certainly bigger fish to fry and I would be more concerned with the quality of her CARE as opposed to a friendly, smiling "Hi, Ray!"
I, too, would say "lighten up" ... but at this time where you are preoccupied with and worried over your dear Dad's health, it might just be more bothersome to you.
Wish your father well, and a most speedy and full recovery. :)
That's kinda a tough statement in light of the fact that this was her dad. A patient and/or family has every right to expect to be called by whatever name they prefer- decided by them and not the nurse.
In this case the nurse decided for them. Not cool.
Defaulting to the most formal and letting the patient/family de-formalizing down is just common courtesy. Again, when I've dealt with other professionals, they've never just called me "Susie."
There was a patient I was helping to take care of; a 82 y/o retired pediatrician with terminal CA. He wanted to be called Dr. So and So and that's what he was called. He has that right.
That's kinda a tough statement in light of the fact that this was her dad. A patient and/or family has every right to expect to be called by whatever name they prefer- decided by them and not the nurse.
In this case the nurse decided for them. Not cool.
Defaulting to the most formal and letting the patient/family de-formalizing down is just common courtesy. Again, when I've dealt with other professionals, they've never just called me "Susie."
There was a patient I was helping to take care of; a 82 y/o retired pediatrician with terminal CA. He wanted to be called Dr. So and So and that's what he was called. He has that right.
This is probably just a sign of the times. Not that I like it or would put up with it.
A couple of days ago I called my son on his cell phone and a girl answered and hung up. I called again and she answered and was giggling and then hung up. I called again, no one answered and I left a rather sharp message for my son. He called me back in about 5 minutes, apologizing. He had given his phone to a friend and friend's girlfriend who rushed the phone to him after I called. I told him to tell that little girl she was very rude and I didn't appreciate it. Yesterday the girl and boyfriend came by to visit my son and this 17 year old girl walks over to me and says "Hi Stephanie, I'm sorry about hanging up on you". Well, I got madder that I had never even met this girl, never been introduced and she was calling me by my first name. Everything is so casual, almost to the point of disrespect.
Having said that I've been known to call some of the ladies in our LTC wing "Sweetie". :)
This is probably just a sign of the times. Not that I like it or would put up with it.
steph
You brought up one of my biggest gripes when I have to deal with the teens and 20 somethings that call. No one has taught them basic phone manners.
Example: I have to triage calls. I ask teen patient X a question and recieve a grunt as an answer. Me: Is that a yes or no? Teen grunts again. Me: I don't understand grunts. Please be specific and answer yes or no. Teen: Go F off.
20 somethings: On another line talking to someone one else and insists that I wait for them to complete their other call, before they'll talk with me. Me:Sorry, due to high call volume, you need to speak with me now or call back when you've completed your other call.
20 somethings: That means I'll have to wait in line again. Me: You're absolutely right.
It sounds like this is more than a professionalism issue with the happy-go-lucky nurse. Do we want to beat her down too and make her bitter? It sounds like you are unhappy about his care and this be-bopper might be an easy target for displaced anger? I hope the meeting goes well and your dad is soon receiving the care he needs-despite what they call him!
I think some of you are reading too much into the question. Yes, there are times when calling a pt by there first name is appropriate, and I agree with "Miss Ethel." That's the way I do it.
I am talking about a med-surg unit, guess I should have made that clear in my original post. He is alert and oriented though his sats drop so low at times he does zone out a bit, and if he didn't first respond to Mr. F (oh, that just doesn't look right! and he's my daddy! LOL) I would then say Ray.
But that was not the case, he was sitting in the chair having conversation with two of his daughters, two of his grandchildren, a granddaughter-in-law and a great granddaughter.
Oh, this nurse really ticked me off. Not only did she practically run into the room as my sister and (part of) her family were leaving, bumping into my sister who then, trying to catch her balance landed on my knee (torn menisci and ligaments) she addressed my dad as if she had known him for years.
Sad part is, he is very respectful of nurses (he has a nurse daughter and a nurse granddaughter) and would not give direction to them. He should, but that is not the way most older people were brought up. As I earlier suggested to a student not to confront her instructor in front of the class, he believes he should not confront a "professional" in front of other people.
Kind of a catch 22 if you ask me, but that's the way people used to be raised. And, he would consider her behavior as "just one of those things" with people now-a-days and not bring it up later.
We are having a care plan (more like a DNR? meeting I think?) meeting early this afternoon and I fully intend to bring this up. He's nearly 82 and his lungs are about as full as they can get before overflowing, without the assist of a cough and it just keeps getting worse. Very worried about him. The sypmtoms are endless, but alertness is not generally a problem (except when his sats dropped to the low 80s for a time.)
Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.
It sounds like this is more than a professionalism issue with the happy-go-lucky nurse. Do we want to beat her down too and make her bitter? It sounds like you are unhappy about his care and this be-bopper might be an easy target for displaced anger? I hope the meeting goes well and your dad is soon receiving the care he needs-despite what they call him!
I think you just said what some of us were already thinking.
If Dixiedi worked with this nurse, perhaps she would think nothing of her behavior and just see her as another energetic young nurse. As we all expect her to be, Dixiedi is probably just a little oversensitive at this time. It is COMPLETELY understandable. She must be feeling a multitude of feelings at this time, including sadness. Goodness knows I've been lashed out at by families before over things as simple as the blankets weren't perfectly straight...but later when they try to apologize, I explain to them that it's not necessary (usually) because I understand that they are under tremendous stress now.
However I do think she should have asked the pt. what he prefers to be called, not his daughter. Now that is something I do do. If someone is awake enough to tell me, I'll ask if they prefer "Ray" over "Raymond". Otherwise, I do use their full first name.
I agree with the other poster who said that by using a person's first name, you basically welcome them into a little "family" that they are now a part of. It's not disrespectful to use someone's first name in a setting like this.
Now, as for calling people outside of work by their first name, well I do handle it a little differently. I still call my parent's friends "Mr Smith or Mrs Jones"....and let me tell you, Mr Langley really hates it when I call him "Mrs Jones"! :rotfl: Just kidding. Anyway, I like the way southern children address people. For instance, my sister teaches dance and all the kids call her "Miss Carrie".
I totally understand that you were "rubbed the wrong way" by the nurse referring to your dad so casually, but I also agree that she probably was just being friendly or personable. She sounds "spunky" according to your description, so she probably meant no disrespect but rather was bubbling with enthusiasm. Hard as that may be to take in those who aren't so chipper, I believe she gave you the perfect opening to state what your expectations/preferences were. When she asked if he prefers Ray or Raymond, I would have either told her she needed to ask him his preference, or simply said, "Let's start with Mr. Smith." She did show an interest in what his preference was, so I'd give her credit for that.
Yesterday the girl and boyfriend came by to visit my son and this 17 year old girl walks over to me and says "Hi Stephanie, I'm sorry about hanging up on you".
I refuse to call a doctor by his first name at work. If i am at the doctor's house for some sort of BBQ shindig, i say "sir". This was the way i was raised.
I call a pt. Mr. or Ms. until they direct me otherwise. I think of that time 10 years ago when my dad (who's first name is Charles) was in the hospital, and one of the nurses called him Chuck or Charlie (which he hates). I wrote a note that said "His name is Charles, he does not like to be called any nicknames of that name, but he's alos too polite to inform you of this" and gave it to her. She actually got mad. Oh, well.
Professionalism and nursing. A hot button issue for me.
Not that nurses need to act formal and stiff 100% of the time to their patients; after all, to many patients the hospital or LTC is their home. With our constant referring to patients as clients, however, you'd think that our treatment of them would coincide.
I always try to relate our profession back to others.
Would an attorney first meeting his client for the first time come skipping in and say "Hi Ray?"
Would a bank executive make a big deal about his "uniform" (a shirt and tie, or pant suit) and complain it's not conducive to his work?
Why do we, as nurses, do these things?
I'm not going to disagree with you because I know that you are right. But nurses are trying to build relationships with these customers/clients/patients that make them comfortable with us perhaps doing intimate care like seeing them naked, wiping their butts, or even handling their genitalia, asking very personal and intimate questions. Other profressionals might not have this kind of relationship. I try to get on a first name basis with my patients asap if I'm going to get that intimate with them. I introduce myself by my first name, not as "RN lastname", or as doctors do "Dr. lastname".
I agree about the uniform and behavior though. A nurse with long red fingernails, smacking gum, sloppy uniform bebopping in the room saying "Hi Ray" is not appropriate either. :)
Dixiedi that would bother me a bit too. But how else was the nurse. We her assessments good, was she on time with meds, did she address his needs? Anyway, hope your dad gets well soon. How fortunate to have a son, other kids and grandkids there looking after him.
Actually, I guess I've always felt that it was less cold to call someone by their first name instead of Mr. or Miss. To call someone by their title reminds them and upholds them to the responsibility and the integrity that title implies; kind of puts people in their place.
My dark secret (yeah right, I bet everyone does this!): For instance, if a client is getting too close to me and I don't like it, I would stress, MR. so and so, when I am speaking to him or if a girl is wasting my time by chatting with me even though I don't know her, I'd say, Okay, MISS so and so, we need to....
In the extreme end, it reminds them that they are a client and that they are taking up my time and that I'm not there to be their pals but to professionaly and strictly only give them whatever services they came to me for. The Coldest Bottom line: If I insist on easily going by a formal title of Miss or Sir instead of calling you by your first name or caring to find out which pronounciation you prefer, that means I don't necessarily like you as a person and may be even repulsed by you and that I'm just doing my job and nothing more.
This is a good thread because it shows that when in doubt, always go formal and people will like it better and feel more comfortable with you for that choice.
jnette, ASN, EMT-I
4,388 Posts
Well, here's my $.02 worth...
On a m/s floor or any floor where you might see the patient only a day, perhaps two, three, even a week, ... then yes, I would first addresse him by his proper name... this has nothing to do strictly with NURSING per se, or even "professionalism"... just common courtesy.
Just the way I was raised perhaps.. but I do think we should wait until we become more familiar with the patient before we addresse by first name. Unless, of course, the patient offers with "oh, just call me Ray.. that would be fine !" Then, certainly, I would be happy to do just that.
As for the bippidy-boppidy nurse... I would not hold that against her... not at all.
As a patient, I would FAR prefer a spunky, happy nurse with a smile on her face, ready to reach out and be friendly than one who is all business.
Where I work, we addresse ALL our patients by first name... and many are quite elderly. Yet when they first come to us, we do use the "Mr./Mrs." ...at least long enough for introductions. :chuckle Before the day is out, they are on first name basis, and #1> They like it that way... and #2> They know they're going to be with us from this day forth, so they are joining a "family" of sorts.
I can see how it might have rubbed you the wrong way, but as mentioned above, there are certainly bigger fish to fry and I would be more concerned with the quality of her CARE as opposed to a friendly, smiling "Hi, Ray!"
I, too, would say "lighten up" ... but at this time where you are preoccupied with and worried over your dear Dad's health, it might just be more bothersome to you.
Wish your father well, and a most speedy and full recovery. :)