Not affectionate enough???

[Tired_Mommy]

I was recently informed that I am not affectionate enough with my toddler patient. I play with him, do plenty of activities with him, give him a pat on the head when I get there...not when I leave since he's still asleep. A couple of the other nurses kiss on him often, rock him to sleep, etc. Personally, I'm not comfortable to do all of that....especially kissing on him. I have rocked him to sleep a few times, but usually he falls asleep on his own. As a mother, I don't think I would want people kissing all over my child...especially a young child on a vent...too many germs.

I take excellent care of him and I am kind to him. Am I wrong in thinking that it is the parents job to come in and kiss on him? Wondering if I should start looking for another case.

Scratching my head...insight please...

[drowningdaily]

I had an overnight case where they wanted us to let the dog out at night if it went to the door and then let it back in a little while later. One night the dog got out and I had to wake parents up at 3 am. Dad was really mad at me. Not nearly as mad as he was two mornings later when he stepped in dog pee. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been so focused on caring for your daughter that I didn't even notice Fido." He, he, he...

[caddywompus]

I can see both sides of this. Still, I don't think you can be asked to be more affectionate. Affection is felt, not forced. I am probably overly affectionate with my peds patients, but I can't help it. When I worked in Elderly LTC eons ago, I could not be affectionate. I just did not feel the same bond, though I certainly cared about my patients. I think asking someone to be or feel something they don't is just asking for trouble.

[PerfectlyPlump, ADN, RN]

I had an overnight case where they wanted us to let the dog out at night if it went to the door and then let it back in a little while later. One night the dog got out and I had to wake parents up at 3 am. Dad was really mad at me. Not nearly as mad as he was two mornings later when he stepped in dog pee. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been so focused on caring for your daughter that I didn't even notice Fido." He, he, he...

They need to buy a crate for that dog to stay in at night.

[nekozuki, LPN]

Wow. Reading through all these posts, I didn't realize how creepy I might come off to other nurses cuddling and kissing my patient (on her ridiculously adorable cheeks). I've been taking care of her practically since she came out of NICU. Mom has a lot of control/trust issues that are alleviated by the fact that I love that little booger with all my heart. She dismissed a nurse who she felt wasn't "affectionate" enough as well, but I think it had more to do with the nurse being more interested in her iphone than interacting with the baby (no cognitive delays, the kid wants to play constantly).

Perhaps it's a little easier to maintain distance in a non-PDN setting, with other patients and general hustle and bustle going on. In this case, it's just me and the baby hanging out for 48 hours a week (no TV, no radio, no cell phone if she is awake, all focus on her). I think the real danger is that someone can become less mindful of their role, which is something I do my damndest to avoid

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I understand the family wants you to show the child love but there is a line. Kissing a child or saying 'I love you' is past that line for me. For as many clients I had I never kissed one or said 'I love you'. The parents should be providing that kind of love & eww all the germs. The client is chronically ill, why pass germs like that?

On another note, they shouldn't be making you do duties part of the house. I understand cleaning the room, doing or putting away laundry but anything not pertaining to the client would be a no no for me.

[ceebeejay]

I am not touchy kissy, either. Especially, kissy. Germs! Stranger germs. Not okay in my opinion. As a parent if a nurse is kissing my kid, I would be sort of "eww". Even in public, I will NOT just reach and grab a baby's hand like so many people do. It's a professional relationship with some nurturing, just like a teacher. What would happen to a teacher that kissed a student? You see, the red flags going off there?

[systoly]

you jinxed me

i never had a problem with this until

a few days ago when i transferred my

pt. to his recliner, his mother tells me,

"you know, my good nurses cuddle with

him in the recliner"

while my brain was still trying to digest this

i heard my mouth spew out,"well you can't

have all good nurses and if im the worst one,

you're doing very well"

to my surprise the response was,"i guess so"

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

you jinxed me

i never had a problem with this until

a few days ago when i transferred my

pt. to his recliner, his mother tells me,

"you know, my good nurses cuddle with

him in the recliner"

while my brain was still trying to digest this

i heard my mouth spew out,"well you can't

have all good nurses and if im the worst one,

you're doing very well"

to my surprise the response was,"i guess so"

Clearly this is becoming a trend AEB by my recent thread, pt's mom wants me to cuddle in bed with patient.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

[eeffoc_emmig]

Trend or not...I refuse to cuddle or kiss on any patient. All it takes is one time for it to be taken the wrong way and bye bye license. Nope. Not happening here.

[smartnurse1982]

I might rock a pt in a chair,but I'm a night nurse,so that isn't happening(for now at least)

Kissing? No way. I wouldn't want to be the one explianing to Mom how the kid got herpes type 1 in her eyes or lips.

"I love you" to a pt? No way,that is unprofessional. I know people feel differently about kids,but,I don't know.

What about showing it by buying something,or even just showing up to take care of the little one?

Going the extra mile?