So yesterday was my last day at our clinical site. We've been there for an entire semester. I usually feel pretty good about my work - not 100%, because I am not in the medical field currently. We only get a clinical once weekly, which in my eyes is just not enough.
I am doing pretty well in lecture (B+) and lab I feel fine as well. When I get to the clinical site, of course my nerves can get the best of me. I push through them though and do my best and keep my patient safe.
I've had several instances where I felt that I was under the teacher's gun and that she was assigning me patients that were very complicated...where as other students in my class were getting easy patients. Whenever I was assigned a complicated patient my teacher would basically spend the entire clinical period breathing down my neck essentially and harassing me.
I was always taught that as long as you got things done in time, and done correctly it didn't matter how you did them - as long as your patient's safety was not jeaporized in any way. Sometimes I prefer to do things a little differently, I just do them the way I feel comfortable. Well, yesterday was awful. I felt like she was continuously drilling me, and singling me out for no reason. Even my other classmates noticed it and were approaching me on it. She did not make it private, in fact she pulled me off to the side - basically in front of my entire class and went up one side of me and down the other for everyone to hear. She told me that she could tell I was not experienced in the medical field and I had better get myself a PCT job over the summer so I can re-learn all of the basic skills that I don't know how to do. I must know how to do them if I passed last semester, right???
She also told me that I will probably never make it as a nurse ... and a lot of other hurtful things. I tried so hard to not cry, but it was just inevitible. I'm under so much stress with school and trying to get good grades and putting in so much effort that for someone to tell me that I'm never going to make it and never be a good nurse has got me down in the dumps. This has been my life long dream... and now I'm questioning it.
I'm starting to think maybe she's right. Sometimes I get too flustered and it's a weakness that is going to essentially make me a bad nurse. All I can do is stew over this now, because really I had no chance to prove anything to her when she was saying this to me. It was my last clinical rotation with her, and now she has to evaluate me and I'm afraid she's not going to pass me because of this. If she doesn't pass me, I don't know what I'll do.
Can anyone relate to something similar to this??? What the heck do I do??? Everyone tells me to just let this all go and stop worrying because I'm obviously doing something right and that she just doesn't like me ... but I'm really doubting myself and my self esteem is just down in the dumps.
"From that day on, I had to look at it like this. Those that can't do teach."
"Anyways as my enemy, I was never going to allow her to see me upset. Especially not crying. I believe their job isn't to teach us how to be nurses, that's our job"
With that attitude of disrespect for instructors, how do you ever expect to learn anything from them? Yes, they (we) teach you how to be nurses.
The same anxiety you report making you forget details about your patient is making you misinterpret correction and guidance. I had a student who blamed everything on me, wrote letters describing how I made everyone in the clinical group unhappy; right up to the day several of her cohort went to the director to assure her they did not agree with anything this student said, and could not believe how much I was putting up with from her. She was counseled, advised, given corrective actions and could/would not do any of it. Failed.
The one that cried, bucked up and went on, did well, and is graduating in a few weeks. No, I didn't fail her for being human!
I teach because I like it. Not because I can't function elsewhere (teaching is a second job; primary income, is, yes, bedside!)
Yes, I passed! Thanks for asking! Best part was this -- I was obviously being made an example for my fellow students. Personally in my opinion was a real crappy way of doing so. During my final evaluation she told me that I was a pleasure to have in class, and good luck next semester, oh and also that I did a great job. She gave me a nice big smile too. I literally sat there with my jaw on the floor. I said thanks and practically ran out the door! Talk about nuts? Yup.
Congrats! Glad you passed and you made it out alive, with a smile and well wishes, to boot. :)
I'm trying very hard to fly under the radar with one of my instructors, but it doesn't appear to be working. Personally, she's a very nice woman, but she seems to have strangely high expectations that I be infallible, and I am anything but. Anyone else answers a question wrong? The gentlest of guidance and help to find the right answer. Me? BAM. What kind of answer is THAT? You should have known better, now figure it out now, on your own, in front of everyone.
I thought I was imagining things until she counseled me during my evaluation on my subpar performance on tests. My subpar 92% performance on tests. When I pointed out that I don't believe I was doing poorly, she told me she expects more 100%s in my grade book. ***. What happened to the lecture that most of us would probably end up being B or C students after stating nursing school and "that's ok?"
Anyway, that's all beside the point...I must've been dying to vent lol.
Congrats and good luck in your next term! Hope your instructor is a little more your style!
@JBudd. I apologize, I did not mean to offend you. But these were tips I had to use. I personally had to look at things this way with this particular instructor otherwise I never would have made it, NOT WITHOUT THINKING THINGS THROUGH LIKE THIS (Now is this wrong and disrespectful, I don't believe so, have I ever told anyone any of this. NO. Was I in anyway verbally or nonverbally disrespectful to her, or to other students about her NO. Everything I have stated was for my own benefit to make it through this clinical.) Now that I am out of her class, I am glad that she expected things to be done to a higher standard, because, I would never have made it through that 12 week clinical stretch. I believe now that I am out, she was a very influential instructor. I certainly didn't like her methods at the time. I did everything I could, I sought her instruction on help with my clinical work, she was certainly more approachable one on one. I probably was misinterpreting her correction and guidance within such a large group. One on one we were both more open and able to relax and she helped me a great deal. I like her teaching style now that I don't have her as an instructor. Am I saying I'm going to go and try to get her fired. No. Am I glad I don't have her any more? Absolutely. Do I regret that I had to have her? No. Am I glad that her style forced me to find ways to suck it up and make it through? Ecstatic, Because without having her as a teacher there would have probably been someone else, that I wouldn't have been able to deal with, and I would have dropped out of the program and not gone back. This hasn't happened, she has made me a better nurse, and a better student!
Funny how things can be totally misconstrued online! Especially me writing that I did things "my own way". Wow. I'm pretty sure that every single person who has read/commented on this thread took that as I did something wrong. When I wrote that - I was only insinuating that maybe I had a preference on folding a bed sheet, or putting on the pt's left sock before their right sock. My instructor just saw things like that as being "not her way".
Things can definitely get misconstrued. I'm really glad that you passed though. And hopefully you won't have her again. How much longer do you have to go?
I feel everyone always has room for improvement, so yes I do believe she was pushing me because she knew I could do better, but also so that I would be an example to my fellow classmates. Especially at evaluation time when she told me I was a pleasure to work with and that I did great. I was expecting her to say "you fail!" LOL I will not have her again since she only teaches Med/Surg I, and ya know I guess I did something right since only about 50% of my class actually passed the course! I graduate in 9 months - only two more semesters...BITTERSWEET! What about you?
I have 2 more semesters also. The instructor I had an issue with was my clinical instructor last semester. And she teaches level 2 and 3. I am entering 3. I really hope they don't stick me with her. I'll know by Friday.
I may understand why she was pushy (and kinda thank her for it.), but I'd be alot more comfortable with her if she was more approachable and I may have gotten one of the highest grades in the class, but that doesn't mean I want her again. I feel like my HR went up to at least 160 everytime she rounded a corner looking for me!
"Earthangel@JBudd. I apologize, I did not mean to offend you. But these were tips I had to use. I personally had to look at things this way with this particular instructor otherwise I never would have made it, NOT WITHOUT THINKING THINGS THROUGH LIKE THIS (Now is this wrong and disrespectful, I don't believe so, have I ever told anyone any of this. NO"
Self preservation I can understand:up:
"Am I glad I don't have her any more? Absolutely. Do I regret that I had to have her? No. Am I glad that her style forced me to find ways to suck it up and make it through? Ecstatic, Because without having her as a teacher there would have probably been someone else, that I wouldn't have been able to deal with, and I would have dropped out of the program and not gone back. This hasn't happened, she has made me a better nurse, and a better student!"
Now you sound like someone I would like to work with. People who try and stretch and aren't satisfied with "just good enough". Apology accepted but not really needed:cheers:; you just happened to hit a sore spot where it is always the evil instructor and innocent bewildered student. Always 2 sides to every story.
kmartin, you're so right, I took it as you not following policy. There are folks who are just power hungry, and others insecure enough to think if they can't control you in the little areas, you won't be controllable in the big stuff where it matters.
She also told me that I will probably never make it as a nurse
My mother-in-law was in nursing school in the early 80s, and her instructor told her the exact same thing. She has been a successful nurse for 29 years, and she owns a home health agency. Don't take that hurtful comment to heart. It sounds like you're working hard and doing well. Some instructors just want to intimidate students. My husband and sister-in-law both went through it in nursing school, too. Good luck and brush it off (even though it's hard)!
I'm in the same exact situation my teacher is harassing me and the D.O.N was too until recently but now I'm asking literally begging the director to help me and she she's done Nothing and I don't know what to do or who to go to.
JBudd, MSN
3,836 Posts
"From that day on, I had to look at it like this. Those that can't do teach."
"Anyways as my enemy, I was never going to allow her to see me upset. Especially not crying. I believe their job isn't to teach us how to be nurses, that's our job"
With that attitude of disrespect for instructors, how do you ever expect to learn anything from them? Yes, they (we) teach you how to be nurses.
The same anxiety you report making you forget details about your patient is making you misinterpret correction and guidance. I had a student who blamed everything on me, wrote letters describing how I made everyone in the clinical group unhappy; right up to the day several of her cohort went to the director to assure her they did not agree with anything this student said, and could not believe how much I was putting up with from her. She was counseled, advised, given corrective actions and could/would not do any of it. Failed.
The one that cried, bucked up and went on, did well, and is graduating in a few weeks. No, I didn't fail her for being human!
I teach because I like it. Not because I can't function elsewhere (teaching is a second job; primary income, is, yes, bedside!)