I know having problems with one's nursing preceptor is common, but I just thought I'd fish for some advice here. I graduated from nursing school a few years ago with a BSN, at the top of my class and fairly confident. Alas, it took me a while to find my first nursing job, in semi-acute care at a rehab facility. I worked there for over a year, and now I just started a new job at an acute care facility. The entire situation is very different from my first job -- patients are sicker (so some of the interventions are very new to me), the charting system is different, the nurse/patient ratio is different -- essentially, it is starting over for me.
I was assigned a preceptor who is well-respected, well-liked, and very experienced. Alas, she is very impatient with me, even though I have only been on the floor for a few days. She feels I am too slow, gets annoyed if I do not understand how to use the equipment or know how to do some of the skills (some of which I haven't done since nursing school), tells me I talk too much to the patients (I talk while working to keep myself calm and centered, as well as to get to know the patients better), and gets irritated if the computer system isn't very intuitive to me (my previous facility had NO computers).
I have been very respectful to my preceptor and openly admitted that I feel a bit new and lacking in confidence. I feel I 'am' progressing slowly (I have half an assignment after only a week, even though the intention was to give me one patient a week -- I now have 4, and a full assignment is 6). But my preceptor is only focusing on what I'm doing wrong. Adding to this, she always takes breaks with me but will not talk to me at all (my attempts to make small talk fall flat). When asked if she was upset with me or something, she harped that I was 'half-baked' and 'not ready' (and will not be in the allotted 4 week orientation) and that 'new nurses have it easy today and not like when she became a nurse years ago.' She gets particularly irritated if I 'don't write things down' like where supplies are (though I have indicated that I remember by doing and seeing, not by writing things down -- I am a very visual person).
Bear in mind that I am in my 40s and though I am new as a nurse, I am not a child and have done many other things in my life. I never asked to be treated as an experienced nurse, but I just don't feel she sees me as a human being or is very compassionate. Very weird when she is nice to everyone. Even when I mentioned I had a migraine at work the other day (I get them bad), she was unsympathetic and just asked if I had finished my charting.
I apologize for sounding dramatic, but my orientation experience is really turning me off to the facility -- a very nice facility, and one that could afford me a great learning experience. Not sure what to do -- I just can't afford to come home and go to work feeling so low about myself when I feel I am trying so hard (and feel I am progressing, though not to my preceptor's expectations). I hate feeling so stupid and being made to feel so. I would appreciate your candid advice and feedback (please be kind).
Listen up don't beat yourself up you are learning.....it takes times to learn the workflow within a new place along with the challenges seen within a patient population. I say give yourself 90 days to learn your role there and another 45 days to learn things more in depth including the computer system basics and about six more months to learn it more proficiently including your role. Your not going to be perfect....if you stay at that place 5 months or 5 years....So don't be hard on yourself. Also at times preceptors are not too nice its one thing to give feedback another thing is to be a helpful resource. I'm also a visual person...so I understand. Please be kind to yourself and do the best you can do...don't stress yourself out. Continue to ask questions when you don't know something isn't that what orientation is about? No matter how annoyed a person may seem to be....and don't let that person intimidate you or anyone else. Remember you passed the boards just like her...someone had to train her too. Also as a nurse keep your eyes open on the direction you want to go in along with your career path....and continue to position yourself closer to your goals.
.....OP is the outsider here and if she "calls her out" it may seem as confrontational then we all know the preceptor will immediately go to the manager with this and could skew things the wrong way.
I can't understand this at all, this thread is full of this. So the better move is to go behind her soon to be boss's back and whine and complain to her boss? Seriously? Without even attempting to resolve the issue like an adult by communicating with the other person and giving them an opportunity to rectify it?
No manager wants to deal with this crap and this is a quick way to get the S-list. The manager has a job too, and it shouldn't have to including dealing with things like this until that sort of escalation is needed.
I can already see the manager's face when the 1st question out of their mouth is "have you spoken directly with her about this"
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
I can already see the manager's face when the 1st question out of their mouth is "have you spoken directly with her about this"
Absolutely. That's the first thing I always ask when someone comes to me, complaining about a coworker. We are all adults here, and I expect everyone to act as such.
Absolutely. That's the first thing I always ask when someone comes to me, complaining about a coworker. We are all adults here, and I expect everyone to act as such.
Exactly.
This is the kind of stuff that creates an environment of distrust and gossip....
Absolutely. That's the first thing I always ask when someone comes to me, complaining about a coworker. We are all adults here, and I expect everyone to act as such.
I disagree. The preceptor is in a position of power, not a peer. It would be appropriate to approach the manager about a superior without confronting said superior.
Been there I am 50. My advice is to do exactly as she says, if she says write it down, write it down. It will not hurt and you will gain points but going against a simple request. write down every thing, I wrote down sequence in charting what keys to hit everything, i went in there daily with a spiral note book, this is one you can not win with out sounding like you are not ready filled with excuses. After having a bad experience at another job with a preceptor, i knew they have big egos and I did exactly as the next one said, she even suggested I was not ready, however I said "what exactly are my week points that make me not ready"...then I asked "as my preceptor what do you suggest" its a mind game, play it. There are more like her on other units or other hospitals. Suck it up and be determined she is not going to win this and you will get through it. Do not complain about her to anyone boss or other nurses. You got this just do exactly as she says, if you don't she will use it against you for any short comings. They have no reason to fire you so don't worry about that. But get a spiral notebook and write
This is the kind of stuff that creates an environment of distrust and gossip....
I agree with you, and the sole reason I registered here, was because this is the norm where I work, and I am looking for ways to understand and work with nurses, without letting past experiences of passive-aggressive resistance get in my way.
However, when I give advice, I am honest enough to give advice out of the person's best interests, and not camouflage my own interests as "advice," which you do here. Pointing fingers with your subjective moral sentiments about how one should be obliged to think of the greater good and put workplace hygiene in front of one's own rational interests, is not a perspective serving the OP. That is a perspective serving you, your ego and your antipathies.
There are a few noteworthy things about the OP. Firstly, she/he has confronted her preceptor and received very detailed and useful information. He/she has managed to receive give-aways about the nurse preceptors baggage and attitudes towards less competent nurses.
Second, the OP does not display inflated self-esteem or negligence issues, as he or she is admitting to be inexperienced. The doesn't approach this from a "tell-me-she-is-the-one-who-is-wrong" point of view, rather "what should I do about it" point-of view.
That requires insight about the retribution possibilities of the preceptor and the staff above her, and their interests. Then it requires some strategy/game theory talent.
In your position OP, I would go behind her back, and be very concise about the problem. You should detail the episodes of ignoring. Such ignoring is a way of keeping you down, it is warfare. You should refer to episodes and your discussion with her, and her attitude. Be open to the preceptor's superior and ask her superior whether she believes the best option is to put on a thick skin and survive the period, or whether the better option for all parties involved is to get you a new preceptor, and preferably someone you have a good impression of. Ask if you could be allowed to talk to potential preceptor candidates yourself.
As regards running the risk of being seen as a problem - that is the case already. This preceptor could be talking to others behind your back. She could be a total snake. It is smart to get your story out, because that actually increases the chance of people seeing you as what you are - someone getting unfairly and harshly treated for possibly being sub-average skilled - and from there, you can only impress people. If you don't - the rumors will spread out more than your hard commitment to get better. It's a typical victim reaction thinking you can sort this out by just being more conscientious, and working harder. You can't.
Been there I am 50. My advice is to do exactly as she says, if she says write it down, write it down. It will not hurt and you will gain points but going against a simple request. write down every thing, I wrote down sequence in charting what keys to hit everything, i went in there daily with a spiral note book, this is one you can not win with out sounding like you are not ready filled with excuses. After having a bad experience at another job with a preceptor, i knew they have big egos and I did exactly as the next one said, she even suggested I was not ready, however I said "what exactly are my week points that make me not ready"...then I asked "as my preceptor what do you suggest" its a mind game, play it. There are more like her on other units or other hospitals. Suck it up and be determined she is not going to win this and you will get through it. Do not complain about her to anyone boss or other nurses. You got this just do exactly as she says, if you don't she will use it against you for any short comings. They have no reason to fire you so don't worry about that. But get a spiral notebook and write
To update you all, I decided to speak with the nurse educator, who had oriented me briefly to the EMR. She seemed amiable and encouraged the new RNs to approach her with any issues. I was careful to not criticize my preceptor; actually, I decided the best way to handle it would be to own the situation and take responsibility; I indicated that I was concerned about whether or not I was progressing well, and that I was concerned that my preceptor was thinking that I was not ready and would need more time to orient to the floor. I also expressed my lack of confidence and wanted some help to feel more ready; I emphasized that I liked the unit and appreciated what everyone -- esp. the preceptor -- was doing for me.
The next day, I learned that my nurse educator had spoken with the preceptor (without my prompting) to get a sense of how I had been doing. Surprisingly (!), the preceptor said I was doing well. You could have blown me over with a feather. Of course, the preceptor 'did' say that I needed more work but I was learning well. Too, when I worked that day, my preceptor was far more encouraging and patient with me. Not that we have become good friends all of sudden, but certainly there was more empathy and patience with me. It made a huge difference, and now my confidence is slowly building.
I appreciate all your advice here -- it all played a role in how I handled this. While I am not sure how my nursing experience at the new facility will proceed, I am at least confident that part of the answer will come from me and how I choose to own my experience and manner of nursing. I am new, too, and I suppose I will need to be more self-forgiving and keep my sensitivity and perfectionism in check while keeping my heart. Thanks again, everyone.
Btw, my nurse educator has agreed (very kindly) to provide me whatever time and resources I will need (on my own time, of course) to become better acquainted with the floor. Of course, I gladly accepted.
I'm gonna remember what you did for myself or others who find themselves in a similar condition. You accomplished exactly what you 'needed' without getting uppity, complaining, getting all victimized -- in other words, you pulled the 'professional' card and it really worked for you!! I am so impressed, thank you for sharing how this worked out!
thecool1Nscrubs2no
127 Posts
Hi there,
Listen up don't beat yourself up you are learning.....it takes times to learn the workflow within a new place along with the challenges seen within a patient population. I say give yourself 90 days to learn your role there and another 45 days to learn things more in depth including the computer system basics and about six more months to learn it more proficiently including your role. Your not going to be perfect....if you stay at that place 5 months or 5 years....So don't be hard on yourself. Also at times preceptors are not too nice its one thing to give feedback another thing is to be a helpful resource. I'm also a visual person...so I understand. Please be kind to yourself and do the best you can do...don't stress yourself out. Continue to ask questions when you don't know something isn't that what orientation is about? No matter how annoyed a person may seem to be....and don't let that person intimidate you or anyone else. Remember you passed the boards just like her...someone had to train her too. Also as a nurse keep your eyes open on the direction you want to go in along with your career path....and continue to position yourself closer to your goals.