Hello- A few years ago something happened that still bothers me, and I just wanted to get some other opinions about this kind of thing in case it happens again or is hapening to other people. I was residing and working in CO at the time. Just as a note to the background, I am from MA (and reside in MA again now) and I am aware of some social & cultural differences between the two regions. One day in CO as I was standing at a pt's ICU bedside with the physician, the MD grabbed the pt's hand (the pt. was alert and awake) and MY hand and begins a Christian prayer. I was totally horrified that I was not asked before he grabbed my hand, and it was basically demanded of me to participate in this prayer. I am an atheist and I do not personally believe in prayer. I certainly have NO problem with others praying in a pt.'s room, as I know it is very comforting to some patients and their families, but I simply do not wish to be included. I felt "forced" into doing something I was, and still am, very uncomfortable with. I just quietly held the pt's hand until the praying stopped and excused myself from the room afterwards. I had no opportunity to politely extricate myself from this situation without making a "big deal" about it, and I was also concerned that sharing my personal (lack of) religious beliefs would lessen my pt's respect/trust in me. This kind of thing NEVER happened to me in MA or as a travel RN in CA, (I had been a RN for 7 years at the time) but happened twice in 2 yrs. while I was living in Colorado. What would you say or do in this situation? It was 4 years ago and it still bothers me tremendously. Thanks for your opinions!
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I had a similar experience when I was in nursing school. I had a patient with stage 4 uterine cancer. She knew she was dying, and had a daughter who she did not want to know about her illness. That part made me feel bad, but I knew that was between her and her daughter.
Anyway, she asked the doctors to remove all the tubes and everything from her body, she didn't want any more treatment, because she knew she was dying. She definitely was. Her skin was breaking down already.
After the doctors left, she asked me to tell her about God, so I did tell her what I knew to give her some comfort.
I personally think if the patient wanted to pray that is/was their right, it is also my right to leave. I dont believe in prayer at work, school or any other govt. building. I feel that I should not have to deal/be present when I dont believe in what they are doing. They have brought prayers And so called motivational sayings to meetings and staff presentations at my work, and I no longer attend these meetings and if they are mandatory; I ask about the those little prayers and motivational sayings are going to be done or said and I let them know I will enter when that is done.
I personally think if the patient wanted to pray that is/was their right, it is also my right to leave. I dont believe in prayer at work, school or any other govt. building. I feel that I should not have to deal/be present when I dont believe in what they are doing. They have brought prayers And so called motivational sayings to meetings and staff presentations at my work, and I no longer attend these meetings and if they are mandatory; I ask about the those little prayers and motivational sayings are going to be done or said and I let them know I will enter when that is done.
I undertstand your point that the patient has the right to pray with the physician, and I think you are correct that it is your right to leave. Just my opinion, but if it is something that I can do for my patient, it would not be too much to ask to give a scared or apprehensive patient a few minutes of polite silence. No, it is not a check off skill we learn in nsg school, but how often do we as nurses "give a little more than asked" in caring for our patients.
A few minutes of silence in respect for their needs, spitual or emotional is something that does not ask too much of me and it would make the patient feel better. like I said, it's just my opinion. They are like rectums, everyone has one. Please don't roast me, I'm not preaching or selling ANY kind of religion, I'm just saying that we all often give a few minutes extra to our patients, it's not like they are asking too much.
Specializes in SICU, NICU, Telephone Triage, Management.
I can understand how you can still have some concern about the situation you were placed in without your consent. If it had been the patient then it would probably have been easier for you to oblige them a small comfort and then gone on about your duties. But, being that it was the physician who basically roped you and the patient into an impromptu prayer circle is what probably nags at you. You were probably made to feel subservient to his wishes and personally, I don't like that feeling either.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
What if the prayer was not a Christian ritual, but something else, like Voodoo, or Santeria? And a devout Christian nurse was forced to participate in something like that? I can imagine how conflicted the nurse would have felt under those conditions, so, the same should apply for anyone else.
Think I'd get a few of my Lesbian friends to waylay the doc and pull him into a prayer circle of the Goddess Clitoria. It would be good for him to "celebrate diversity."
Specializes in Home Care, Primary care NP, QI, Nsg Adm.
I am a Muslim but certainly would not deny or interfere with a patients right to his/her religious belief. You were right to not interfere at that moment, however, if you still worked in that facility and the same physician had a habit of including others in his prayers physically then I think a private discussion at a later time would be appropriate.
I work in Saudi Arabia at the present time as DON in a mental health facility. We frequently have non-Muslim patients admitted (Christians, Hindus and Buddhists mainly). Of course, it is common in some psychiatric disorders to have religious delusions, however, those patients who wish to worship when lucid (i.e, in an appropriate manner) then we try to accommodate. Naturally, dealing with mentally ill clients we must attempt to strike a balance between the predominate faith here, which is Islam and the mental state of our client. Therefore, we cannot nor should we thrust certain beliefs on them or attempt to extinguish our clients beliefs particularly as that may be harmful to our clients recovery and well being. (Just as a side note, non-Muslims in Saudi are free to worship according to their faith and beliefs in the privacy of their homes).
I believe in establishing cultural competency which does not necessarily mean agreement in another persons belief system but it does permit the freedom to practice as one chooses.
i-shinigami
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epic.