Please Help, new Nurse, don't know what to do, transferred

Moriah02 · May 2, 2015

What kind of bullying would the first nurse do?

Michellelove · May 2, 2015

she would repeatedly yell at me at the nurses station, there were many witnesses who accounted for it and told me to report her. She would tell other people that new nurses don't really have a place in an acute care because they dont know what they are doing. She would refuse report, one time i had to stay pass midnight and had to call the house sup just so i can give her report. She basically went to extremes.

maxthecat · May 2, 2015

About all you can do is chalk this up to a valuable learning experience. It's always dangerous to go over your manager's head, but at only 6 months in, it's suicide. You don't know the lay of the land well enough to know who is friends with who, which staff are "untouchable" for one reason or another. If the bullying happened as you say, to the point where a house supervisor was getting involved,just so you could get report, and yet nothing changed, that should have been your warning that all was not as straightforward as it seemed.

Also know that there are always co-workers who will urge "you need to report this." They may or may not have your best interests at heart. Since I don't know the people involved I can't say. But for future reference, it's entirely possible for co-workers to appear to be your best friends, while secretly working to ease you off the unit. Don't be paranoid, but walk warily, especially when you're

the new kid on the block.

Do you owe these people money and/or time, or are you free to try for a job in another system?

Michellelove · May 2, 2015

Thank you for the reply, I don't owe them time or money and I know i could probably try to find another job but a part of me really wants to stay at this new job to prove to that previous manager that i am not a "job hopper" or any other bad things she says about me. My previous jobs lasted 8 or more years. You are right about the "untouchables" I also really like this hospital but it seems that rumors of me have already been spread. I want to prove them wrong...at this point i am still nice to her when i see her i dont know what else or how to act.

adjappleton · May 2, 2015

Don't bother trying to prove anything to the previous manager (i.e. not job hopper) as she's already proven she 1) tolerates bullying/unprofessional behavior and 2) exhibits unprofessional behavior herself (rubbing in the she's hired others). Do a good job in your mgr role for another 6 to 12 months and make a point to be professional and network all you can. Eventually your work ethic and positive (and confident) attitude we lead to other open doors. Also maybe find an agency where you could work a few shifts a month to keep your bedside skills fresh, even if it isn't acute or ER. Good luck and don't let the bastards grind you down!

Michellelove · May 2, 2015

Thank you for your reply, I will probably do what you suggested, it sounds great actually, thank you again so much for the great advice.

allnurses Guide · May 2, 2015

I think you have recieved some very good advice but I do want to quote DR. Phil and say "Every pancake has two sides" It it possible (even remotely) that the person you reported had any legitimate reason for taking you to task. Be honest with yourself. Even if the critcism received was legitimate and she handled in in an inappropriate way she's still wrong but I guarantee you will run into these kinds of people (managers, co-workers, parients and their families) throught your carreer. That's something you are goining to have to accept if you stay in this field. Accepting it doesn't mean you have to tolerate being abused - but when someone takes me to to task I always step back a bit to see if I own any part of that I often find it helps to smile and say thank you for your input I'll work on that. Practice it in the mirror so you can do it with sincerity.

The thing about bullies is they feed of the reaction they get from the person they are bullying. So if you let it roll off your back and just move on the the next indicated thing they will sooner or later leave you alone and find someone else to pick on.

Hppy

Ruby Vee, BSN · May 3, 2015

Hi everyone,
Thank you for stopping by, I just wanted to ask for some help and opinion from you guys.
I am a new nurse with about 6 months of experience. I was originally hired onto a hospital in which i transferred to the sister hospital since it was alot closer to my house.
I started in an extremely busy unit where as a primary RN we have 5 pts plus 4 more from the LVN's we have to cover. This hospital is a very well known acute care trauma center. Basically, we as nurses end up with 9 pts per day, admissions, discharges ect on a good day 8 pts.
After I was off orientation, I was bullied by an RN repeatedly and I had to take it to the next level of chain of command because nothing was being done repeatedly. I guess this must not have sat well with my manager and instead of sticking it out I decided to transfer. I am still in the same hospital but more in a management position of some sort still working as an RN. i really dont like it because I wanted to be a bedside nurse and my goal is the ER, one of the manager offered me a floor job but when she spoke to my previous mgr, she decided not to hire me. To make a long story short, I apologized to my manager for the bullying i experienced and I asked her if maybe she can take me back because I realized I really am a bedside nurse and as a new nurse i need the experience. She said no and since then have been rubbing it in my face that she has hired so and so people, i am unable to transfer elsewhere because of the feedback she gives other mgrs, she told them i was basically a job hopper. I am miserable in my new job and I feel that maybe this will not be able to take me to my goal which is ER. I'm afraid i will be stuck in a desk job as an RN. I know it is my fault and I should have stayed and stuck it out but the administration actually offered me the position and without thinking i accepted. What is your advice for me and I apologize this was so long. Thank you

Basically, you ARE a job hopper. With six months of experience, you are now looking for a third job. That's a job hopper. So your former nurse manager isn't lying about you; she's being honest.

The first year of nursing is overwhelming, awful, stressful, awful and did I mention miserable? The only way to GET through it is to GO through it. And that usually means staying in your first job long enough to become competent -- about two years.

Throughout your career, you're going to find people that you won't get alone with -- some of them because they're awful, miserable people, some of whom you remind (or remind you) of your/their ex-husband's new wife, and some because you're so alike you're just constantly rubbing each other the wrong way. When those people outrank you in the organization, the fad these days is to call them bullies. Hopefully that fad will fade away, because it devalues the real bullying that people encounter in life. Whatever you call them, you're going to have to learn how to get along with them at least well enough to work constructively with them.

You already know that you've made some mistakes. Going up the chain of command was one major mistake. Leaving your job less than six months in was another.

And here's a mistake you may not have yet identified: discounting the other nurse's feedback because you didn't like the delivery. You were a brand new nurse and brand new nurses make mistakes; lots of them. That's to be expected. As a new nurse, you should have been open to negative feedback from your colleagues. I wasn't there, I don't know about the delivery of that feedback, but as the new nurse you should have examined that feedback, looking for areas of truth to help you improve your future practice, even if it made you uncomfortable. The nurse who repeatedly takes an assignment from you and finds little things (or big things) either undone or done incorrectly and has to spend half of her shift undoing the damage is likely to be angry enough with you to have it spill over into inappropriate "yelling" at the nurse's station. She may even refuse to accept report from you until you have corrected your errors, and although you don't want to hear this, that may be legitimate.

When I was a new grad, I consistently failed to empty the Foley bags at the end of my shift, so the I & Os were always off. I don't know why I failed -- just didn't remember, I guess. Others nurses called it to my attention, and I promised to do better and I really meant it. But I'd forget again. Then one day a senior nurse refused to do the narc count and take the keys at the end of my shift until I'd gone through all fifteen patients and correctly tallied their I & O. I was embarrassed and humiliated, but after that, I remembered.

The best advice going forward is to stay where you are for 1-2 years. Make as many connections as you can and keep your eyes open for future opportunities, but stay where you are. If you don't want to be known as a job hopper, don't BE a job hopper. I understand that you're miserable, but changing jobs again probably isn't going to change that. You accepted this job even though you knew it wouldn't further your goal of getting to the ER. If that is still your goal, make your next job one that get's you on the correct path.

twinsmom788 · May 4, 2015

YOLO please , please do what you want! You only live once!

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2015

How is it going for you these days? Did you end up staying or going?

Michellelove · Jul 23, 2015

How is it going for you these days? Did you end up staying or going?

Update:

I just wanted to say, I am very thankful to God in every way. I stayed with that hospital for a little longer and left. I was offered a position elsewhere & I would have never dreamed of even getting this job with a very prestigious company. It was truly a blessing in disguise. I am really happy with my new position and I would have never found it without all the chaos that has happened in the past. In all the ways always look for the positive and the bright side. I believe things happen for a reason. I thank God for everything, Amen.