I need some advice. I made a big med error today and I don't know what to do. I can't put into words the way I feel right now. So afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, discouraged. Here is what happened. I'm giving other information NOT because it is an excuse for me making such a blatant mistake, but just to give some insight into how I feel. Even before this, I've been feeling like I'm just not cut out to be on such a hectic unit. I know all nurses have hectic jobs but our floor is one that all float nurses and nurse assistants say they hate and tell me "good luck" once I tell them I'm a new RN on the floor. The other nurses are really great, its just so fast paced, its an ICU step down and in one day you can get several admissions and discharges. Even before today I felt like I was struggling just to keep my head above water. I had two months of orientation but looking back it was kind of like having a team mate to do the work with, so I didn't learn things from the perspective of a nurse working solo.But Today I did the worst thing. I messed up, it was no ones fault but my own. Basically a patient was ordered to switch to a Lasix drip. When I started the drip, I entered the intended ml/hr into the mcg/kg/hr. I looked at the orders in the computer and remember thinking "double check" - and I **thought** that I had. The patient showed no signs of distress, and only when the bag was empty 3 hours later and I called for another and pharmacy said I had enough for the next shift did I realize that the drip was going at THREE TIMES the intended dose. My heart stopped and immediately I felt this feeling of doom. I immediately checked the patients' vitals, which were fine thank god then told the charge nurse. She (rightfully) freaked out and asked why I didn't have someone double check the rate. I thought we only needed certain drips checked and honestly did not realize. I called the doctor to let him know and filled out an incident report with the charge nurse. She said I was unsafe with patients and after this, I agree with her! I was under the impression I would be fired and was worried about my license. I have not been able to sleep or eat since this happened. I just found out that the patient has been fine in the last 12 hours since this happened and that he is okay. I am SO SO SO thankful that the patient is okay but just feel like such an idiot. I feel like I've worked so hard to become a nurse and apparently I'm not cut out for it. I'll be meeting with the supervisor, manager, and charge nurse in a couple of days (which I'm already so scared for and dredding) but am scheduled to work before then. I'm new and I honestly doubted that I even had a job after this, so when one of the other nurse managers emailed me telling me everything with the patient was fine and that she would see me for my regular shift on Monday I was surprised.I'm scared to go back. I'm not only devastated to have made such a blatant and terrible mistake that could have been life altering for that patient, but I'm doubting my future and career as a nurse. Before this, my patients and colleges have had good things to say about me but now I feel like I'll always be known for this. I feel like i'll be walking around with a big X on my head. I could my patient serious harm! I honestly feel like resigning, but feel a weird mixture of having just disappointed everyone and yet like I would disappoint them more if I express interest in moving to a different unit with a slower pace. I just want to crawl into a hole. Help.