Percieved Indignities and Anger Management Strategies

[Night Monkey]

Hi, I've been a lurker for a while.

I am in my first quarter of nursing school at age 33. I carried a high gpa through pre-reqs and am doing very well academically. I appreciate what I believe are the big-picture elements of nursing: service to those in need, timely critical thinking, teamwork..etc.

However, I'm having a very real and very problematic issue over the last several weeks with nature of this schooling, and perhaps with the other nature of this profession. In specific: I deeply dislike being set up to look foolish then being criticized. I deeply dislike the fake scenarios and hokie role-playing which insults our intelligence. I have trouble with procedures being evaluated on robotic step-by-step lockstep process rather than by principles: i.e. asepsis is asepsis whether or not I do step 2 before step 3, to suggest otherwise is insulting to me, as the concept of contamination is so simple.

I think many people have these issues, but I'm finding myself challenged to be able to stuff my well-earned sense of pride and dignity and be able to remain contrite in these situations rather than stating my case. I'm likely going to fail if I can't resolve this, as clearly the role of the nurse is one of a cheerful, resilient, doormat-type who takes this sort of thing in stride. This cheerful/obedient/contrite mentality has never been a part of my personality, and I'm struggling to fake it and failing at times when I feel like there's no logic behind the criticisms or no way to succeed with the parameters we've been given (so we're set up to fail, then criticized for failing.) I've walked out of practice sessions with classmates and had disagreements with faculty in these situations, all of which I regret because it reflects poorly on my ability to take the abuse nurses are expected to take.

I'm looking for any/all advice with regard to approaching these situations and maintaining a level head.

[Isitpossible, LPN, LVN]

I dont think nurses are doormat by any means..but as STUDENTS we just have to deal with things as best we can. You didnt provide examples other than generalized stuff, maybe someone can help you out. As a student we clearly dont know alot even with good grades, so we do have to demonstrate respect to our professors (even when we dont always agree), but they are NURSES with many with years of experience..Im not downplaying your feelings either, please know that..Just sometimes you have to know when to take a backseat, zip it up, and keep on moving. If you want to be NURSE, you will deal with ALOT of things that will annoy you...this is good practice!!..and please dont have a smarter than thou attitude with teachers..looking for problems that way!

[Night Monkey]

example: we're given a scenario with no "location"... no unit of the hospital, no idea where this is taking place, it's not part of the scenario. I ask "is there anything else we'll need to know for this," prior to the role-play and get a "no, that's all."

Then, 5 minutes into the role play I'm on the phone with a "phys" (this instructor) who is asking me "where are you." So I stop role-playing and say "are you kidding? Are you testing my ability to make this up on the fly? It's the Emergency room right? We never discussed this...is it up to me to decide now? Is it a med surg floor?" I was super-frustrated at the logical paradox and the idea of putting me in a position where I look like an ass in front of my cohort, asking some basic question that should be part of the briefing at the beginning of the scenario.

So instead of just taking a guess at it, I want to be treated with decency and in an intellectually honest adult way. Meaning: I want there to be some recognition that if this was real I'd damn sure know where I'm standing, what hospital/floor/room. So setting me up to fail like that is bogus. That's all, I'm just looking for some decency that doesn't seem to be a part of this.

There are other situations but they're really similar. The supplies in arms reach that are suddenly "in the supply room" meaning that I "can't see them" without any of this being discussed so reaching at arm's length to grab a kit is really leaving the patient alone in the room even though none of this was made clear beforehand.

The unrealistic patient names "Pinecone McDoodleton" and the cartoonish fake voices they use to interact with you.

I'm in sterile gloves for a cath insertion. I use my non-dominant hand to assist with un-sticking the tongs. I am told that I'm supposed to do this one-handed with the dominant hand "just because."

Sterile field is intact, the only thing that's gone wrong is that I followed the principle of asepsis instead of the specific order of operations they apparently want to see.

So, the problem isn't any one specific situation, it's the implications: it's being treated like someone too dim to understand contamination...and my difficulty with being treated like a dimwit or set up to look foolish without becoming frustrated.

I'm less trying to ***** about the ridiculousness of it all and more about trying to gather input to try and create some kind of strategy or mantra or something so that it doesn't bother me and I can get past this without causing any more problems and/or further damaging my rep as a student here.

See what I'm saying now?

[ImThatGuy, BSN, RN]

What has your career been in?

Mine has been law enforcement primarily. Let me preface this as saying I'm pretty dang blunt. That said, I've learned to deal with idiots, and it now takes a much higher concentration of idiots to get me riled up than it used to. However, when I'm pushed I have, for good or bad, learned to push back harder. It's simply a survival strategy which comes into play in about any type of threatening encounter even in the classroom. Unfortunately, I think my coping strategies can't help. I'm not sure how I went from over-reacting to remaining calm, but whatever they are I now get headaches very quickly when placed in an idiot encounter. Idiot is a word I've adapted for my use, over time, that has replaced SOB, MF, and a variety of others. Idiot can refer to everything from coworker to thug to classmate to patient to the type of instructor or staff member that you've been going on about. I'm like you in that I don't understand why some things are seen as important and others aren't, but I am finding that nursing, particularly the educational process of becoming a nurse, is nothing short of silly. Paramedic school, a job I held on the side because I thought it was neat, was much more straight forward and goal-oriented. It was both intense and relaxed meaning there was a lot more detail and procedures to be done correctly, but we weren't spoken to like idiots.

[Night Monkey]

I was in forestry, wildland fire, and fire aviation for 14 summers in many specific capacities (worked on crews/engines/helicopters; ran crews/engines/helicopters, dispatched, did management/overhead-type work on occasion,) I worked in and managed a few ski shops, and I worked in a few hotels doing maintenance and night audit as well as doing innumerable other jobs in and around the margins: construction/demolition labor, landscaping, restaurant/dishwashing....prior to this.

[blackberrie_281]

on no i start nursing school this spring and if this happens to me i may explode. idk what to say that may help you since i havent gone through clincals yet..n by the time i do, it may be to late for you :redpinkhe sorry.

[Night Monkey]

My current plan is to begin seeing a clinical psychologist and to make an appointment to see a GP with the aim of possibly trying a low dose of a SSRI.

In talking with others, I continue to find similar thought processes about the quality of this program's approach. It seems like there are 4 categories: 1) the Golden Retriever people who are unshakably upbeat and genuinely unbothered by even major problems or insults. 2) Those who are aware of problems or insults and intelligently manage their demeanor until later, when they cry and/or experience panic attacks or anger. 3) Those who withdraw from the experiences either mentally or altogether. and 4) Me, who tries to defend myself or critique the process in terms of logic and reason to the offense of others involved.

So, I need to be a type 1 ideally and a type 2 at worst.

I would continue to value your suggestions (any and all) as to any specific strategies you use or recommend to adopt this behavior pattern under humiliating circumstances.

[ImThatGuy, BSN, RN]

My current plan is to begin seeing a clinical psychologist and to make an appointment to see a GP with the aim of possibly trying a low dose of a SSRI.

In talking with others, I continue to find similar thought processes about the quality of this program's approach. It seems like there are 4 categories: 1) the Golden Retriever people who are unshakably upbeat and genuinely unbothered by even major problems or insults. 2) Those who are aware of problems or insults and intelligently manage their demeanor until later, when they cry and/or experience panic attacks or anger. 3) Those who withdraw from the experiences either mentally or altogether. and 4) Me, who tries to defend myself or critique the process in terms of logic and reason to the offense of others involved.

So, I need to be a type 1 ideally and a type 2 at worst.

I would continue to value your suggestions (any and all) as to any specific strategies you use or recommend to adopt this behavior pattern under humiliating circumstances.

Dude, don't medicate yourself. The therapy by a psychologist might help, but a counselor or some other type of therapist other than a clinical psychologist could help. I just suck it up and deal with it. That's called internalizing, and that isn't healthy, but it works.

[justashooter]

What has your career been in?

Idiot is a word I've adapted for my use, over time, that has replaced SOB, MF, and a variety of others. Idiot can refer to everything from coworker to thug to classmate to patient to the type of instructor or staff member that you've been going on about.

I am finding that nursing, particularly the educational process of becoming a nurse, is nothing short of silly.

brother, forget the idea of medicating yourself into a water dog. you need to be on top, not a moron. stay on top thru cognitive adjustment, not diminishment of yourself. accept the fact that half the world is stupid, and that most of the other half is asleep.

as for idiots, we call them "zombies" in penna, and there are enuf of them.

the ed process in nursing is mostly oriented towards teaching little girls not to cry or do stupid things. middle aged men don't learn well in such an environment. you gotta be "in this world, but not of it". make a cognitive shift and understand that you are not the model the teaching is based on. let the waste roll off your back. play by whatever rules are in place at the moment, and you'll make it thru. once you are in the role, you can change it from the inside by who you are in the role. you cannot change it from the outside.

PM me any time you need to talk. i'm a chopper hack myself.

[pochadad]

i have to agree with justashooter, it's all a matter of perspective. The teaching plans are goal oriented, but they are worked up based on the majority of the nursing students...which aren't 30 somthing males like us. I've also been like you, speaking up when I feel my intelligence insulted by an "authoritative" figure, but it's more often when I feel like I have nothing to gain or lose anyway. Try to take on the perspective that you're simply in the cross-fire of the rediculousness, and that it's not directed at you per se. You have to pass through to get where you're trying to go.

[Cessna172]

Wow, that sounds like my complaints when I was working on the BSN. I absolutely hated some of the bs that we had to do. I talked to a professor I really respected about my frustration with the nursing program as a whole, and came to the conclusion that I will just "play the game", and her response was "yea, just play the game". After that realization, I was able to do the assignments I thought were useless without becoming overly irritated, and with the end goal in mind, and it became a little easier to stomach. I was almost 30 when I returned to school to finish the degree at that time. Hope that helps a little.

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

I bottle it and come home and beat the hell out of my punching bag. My gf can always tell how bad a day it is by how hard Im laying into that bag. It is a HUGE stress relief and a great workout