Night Monkey

My current plan is to begin seeing a clinical psychologist and to make an appointment to see a GP with the aim of possibly trying a low dose of a SSRI. In talking with others, I continue to find similar thought processes about the quality of this program's approach. It seems like there are 4 categories: 1) the Golden Retriever people who are unshakably upbeat and genuinely unbothered by even major problems or insults. 2) Those who are aware of problems or insults and intelligently manage their demeanor until later, when they cry and/or experience panic attacks or anger. 3) Those who withdraw from the experiences either mentally or altogether. and 4) Me, who tries to defend myself or critique the process in terms of logic and reason to the offense of others involved. So, I need to be a type 1 ideally and a type 2 at worst. I would continue to value your suggestions (any and all) as to any specific strategies you use or recommend to adopt this behavior pattern under humiliating circumstances.

I was in forestry, wildland fire, and fire aviation for 14 summers in many specific capacities (worked on crews/engines/helicopters; ran crews/engines/helicopters, dispatched, did management/overhead-type work on occasion,) I worked in and managed a few ski shops, and I worked in a few hotels doing maintenance and night audit as well as doing innumerable other jobs in and around the margins: construction/demolition labor, landscaping, restaurant/dishwashing....prior to this.

example: we're given a scenario with no "location"... no unit of the hospital, no idea where this is taking place, it's not part of the scenario. I ask "is there anything else we'll need to know for this," prior to the role-play and get a "no, that's all." Then, 5 minutes into the role play I'm on the phone with a "phys" (this instructor) who is asking me "where are you." So I stop role-playing and say "are you kidding? Are you testing my ability to make this up on the fly? It's the Emergency room right? We never discussed this...is it up to me to decide now? Is it a med surg floor?" I was super-frustrated at the logical paradox and the idea of putting me in a position where I look like an ass in front of my cohort, asking some basic question that should be part of the briefing at the beginning of the scenario. So instead of just taking a guess at it, I want to be treated with decency and in an intellectually honest adult way. Meaning: I want there to be some recognition that if this was real I'd damn sure know where I'm standing, what hospital/floor/room. So setting me up to fail like that is bogus. That's all, I'm just looking for some decency that doesn't seem to be a part of this. There are other situations but they're really similar. The supplies in arms reach that are suddenly "in the supply room" meaning that I "can't see them" without any of this being discussed so reaching at arm's length to grab a kit is really leaving the patient alone in the room even though none of this was made clear beforehand. The unrealistic patient names "Pinecone McDoodleton" and the cartoonish fake voices they use to interact with you. I'm in sterile gloves for a cath insertion. I use my non-dominant hand to assist with un-sticking the tongs. I am told that I'm supposed to do this one-handed with the dominant hand "just because." Sterile field is intact, the only thing that's gone wrong is that I followed the principle of asepsis instead of the specific order of operations they apparently want to see. So, the problem isn't any one specific situation, it's the implications: it's being treated like someone too dim to understand contamination...and my difficulty with being treated like a dimwit or set up to look foolish without becoming frustrated. I'm less trying to ***** about the ridiculousness of it all and more about trying to gather input to try and create some kind of strategy or mantra or something so that it doesn't bother me and I can get past this without causing any more problems and/or further damaging my rep as a student here. See what I'm saying now?

Hi, I've been a lurker for a while. I am in my first quarter of nursing school at age 33. I carried a high gpa through pre-reqs and am doing very well academically. I appreciate what I believe are the big-picture elements of nursing: service to those in need, timely critical thinking, teamwork..etc. However, I'm having a very real and very problematic issue over the last several weeks with nature of this schooling, and perhaps with the other nature of this profession. In specific: I deeply dislike being set up to look foolish then being criticized. I deeply dislike the fake scenarios and hokie role-playing which insults our intelligence. I have trouble with procedures being evaluated on robotic step-by-step lockstep process rather than by principles: i.e. asepsis is asepsis whether or not I do step 2 before step 3, to suggest otherwise is insulting to me, as the concept of contamination is so simple. I think many people have these issues, but I'm finding myself challenged to be able to stuff my well-earned sense of pride and dignity and be able to remain contrite in these situations rather than stating my case. I'm likely going to fail if I can't resolve this, as clearly the role of the nurse is one of a cheerful, resilient, doormat-type who takes this sort of thing in stride. This cheerful/obedient/contrite mentality has never been a part of my personality, and I'm struggling to fake it and failing at times when I feel like there's no logic behind the criticisms or no way to succeed with the parameters we've been given (so we're set up to fail, then criticized for failing.) I've walked out of practice sessions with classmates and had disagreements with faculty in these situations, all of which I regret because it reflects poorly on my ability to take the abuse nurses are expected to take. I'm looking for any/all advice with regard to approaching these situations and maintaining a level head.