Patients who are my age who blush or dart questions due to embarrassment...

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I'm a new nurse and have noticed one or two patients my age (opposite gender) who blushed like crazy when I asked about constipation meds. My other patients don't but this one looked like he was going to die with embarrassment. He later told the NP that he needed some. Does this have to do with my age or inexperience? What the heck? Twice in a week! Is this normal to get this with some patients as a new nurse? Embarrassment and not getting all the info. from patients of the same age?

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I used to work at a community health center, which basically functioned as a medical & dental office for everthing except OB. Family practice, if you will. We had mostly un- and underinsured patients. (Not that that changes anything, just clarifying.)

If I had a nickel for every time a 'headache' with me turned into 'I slept with a prostitute and now my member is on fire' with the doctor/NP, I would be writing to you from my palatial home in Hawai'i.

Or the men and women who would preface their complaint with "I'm really embarrassed to say this, but...." And you know, in some cases, had I had the problem they did, I would be embarrassed to say it to my doc too, even though I know my doc is a professional.

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Specializes in ER, PACU, Med-Surg, Hospice, LTC.
If I had a nickel for every time a 'headache' with me turned into 'I slept with a prostitute and now my member is on fire' with the doctor/NP, I would be writing to you from my palatial home in Hawai'i.

Isn't that the TRUTH! LOL!

I had to laugh out loud at your comment. You made my day :D

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Yea, sometimes now with male patients I'll get an elevated pulse reading... over 100. :heartbeat Which has been quite hilarious to my male nursing student pals, of course and the occasional doc -- esp. one doc who took one look at me and said, "it'll be lower if he (the doc) takes it" and... it was.

Yeah, it is funny, but upsetting when you are trying to get an accurate view of a patient.

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Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.

i work on a GI floor and we have many younger male patients... most men are not comfortable with anyone touching their hiney, nevermind me being there to see it... or give them a suppository/enema/dressing change on abcess/check for anal drainage/put nitro on a fissure, etc. one guy actually asked me "do you have to be in here? can't you just let me hang the bag up?"

i have actually had a male patient (around my age) ask me to get an "older nurse" to come in the room when the doctor had to perform a digital.. he said "well it's nothing against you, i just don't want you to have to see it"

and i respect that wholeheartedly.....

i dunno how comfortable i would feel if a 25 year old guy walked in my room and said they were going to assist with my pap smear and put in a foley.

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.
Roy, based on what you just said would you say this is a fair statement?
I'd say it's somewhat accurate - but I'm not so sure if the gender of the provider has as much an impact as much as the general 'cultural' thought of Western males. You'd be surprised how many men balk at colonoscopies and prostate/rectal exams - especially if performed by a male provide!

And you know, in some cases, had I had the problem they did, I would be embarrassed to say it to my doc too, even though I know my doc is a professional.
Good point.

Many months ago, I had to visit my ER while I was at work - thanks to SVT.

Now, standard procedure is to have the pt. undress and get an EKG, right?

Now, ordinarily I'm a fairly relaxed feller. I have no hang ups about skin, sex, exposure etc. I'm pretty comfortable with myself and who I am etc. I'm pretty touchy-feely in real life... that's just who I am.

Besides, I am a nurse and I know I'm dealing with professionals - right?

Apparently not. I didn't balk when I had to get my EKG done.

But I can tell you that I had some "feelings" - fleeting as they were - when they had to expose my chest, shave off the hair and place the leads. Here was a complete stranger, shaving my hair and looking at me exposed self while they went about their jobs.

Like I said - the feelings were fleeting. But I guess I surprised myself that I had those feelings at all!

I mean, golly gee - it was only an itty bitty EKG! How often have I wandered around swimming pools and beaches dressed in nothing but my trunks and not thought twice about it?

And here I am, a nurse to boot, feeling a bit squeamish about exposing my chest!

Guess my "modest" upbringing has a bigger impact on my psyche than I thought! Heh.

And no, the gender of the person performing the task had nothing to do with it - I guess I was feeling a bit squeamish because it was a stranger more than anything else..

cheers,

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Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

I have always used humor to attempt to relax the patient a little. most will respond to that. "Sorry I have to ask this bit dont worry i have been a nurse for a long time and not much surprises me anymore" will usually get a chuckle. I have many adolescent males in our facility who need us to check various body parts and functions. with them i use the Iam old I am a grandma line and they usually laugh at me.

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To -- dnp2004

I find it revealing that you're not getting any response to your last post. This is a topic many health care workers don't want to talk about, at least publically. We certainly don't want to discuss these topics openly with patient involvement. The imbalance of men and women as nurses and how that affects gender choice for intimate care. The growth of Women's Clinics with all female teams, but the rarity of any Men's Clinics with all male teams. The "I'm your assigned nurse" mentality especially for male patients. The hidden rules about what exactly it's acceptable or safe, procedure-wise, for male nurses to do on female patients. The assumption that the gender of the nurse for intimate care doesn't matter to most men, and if it does, it shouldn't, because there are no real male or female nurses, just nurses. The assuption that once you enter a hospital, gender doesn't really matter. These are the real taboo topics. Changes in these areas involve too many political, economic, legal, job-related, hiring, gender issues. It's safer to just sweep them under the rug.

Thank you for your response Cul2. Actually I wonder how long I will be allowed to be on this website. I don't think I am liked that well. I think part of the problem is the way I communicate. You see I am an older women who started as a nurse in the military. I became a commercial pilot so I could go on remote humanitarian missions. I then became an OB/GYN. Afterward I went back to school and became an attorney with a specialty in international attorney.

Remember, the military, aviation, medical school and law at the time were over 95% male based. In law school we are taught how to craft hard hitting arguments. Hence when I make my points many women don't like my style.

Since my early 20's I have worked mostly around men. My best friends have been my husband and sons. So when I see male stereotypes, double-standards or bashing on this site I tend to go after them head on. Much of the erroneous things I see written about males seem to be due to misunderstandings and strange assumptions.

For example many people seemed surprised to find out males can be more modest than females. They think males did not seek medical help because of macho indestructible attitudes. Wrong! I also hear some strange things about male sexuality in general that kind of set me back. I don't know if the problem is with medical education system and/or stereotypes. Also if a male was uncomfortable about exposing himself I never let my staff use those stupid phrases, "we are all professionals here" or worst yet, "do worry, we have seen it all before"! One time I witnessed a male student nurse using that last phrase on a female patient. He overheard that instructor using it on a male patient. His instructor severely reprimanded him for such an insensitive remark! I then quickly reprimanded her in front of her students for using that phrase in the first place.

You will notice I tend to apply reverse arguments. For example you will notice I will state if circumcisions are bad for girls they are also bad for boys. Many Americans don't realize that when I went in front of international organizations to ban female circumcisions I was always asked, "so why do Americans circumcises so many boys but are trying for a female only ban?" They had a point! But many people on this site don't like me talking about the topic.

If you can have female-only staff, why can't you have male only staff? In my opinion it may be illegal to advertise either. What happens if a qualified male applies to the female-only facility and is denied employment based solely on his gender. How is that different than the "whites only please" phrase printed on employment ads I used to see years ago? Or the hotels and resorts that had a "no Jews allowed" policy when I was a child?

I have the feeling that if a qualified male nurse applied to a medical facility that received Federal funds (grants, medicare, medicaid, military reimbursement, etc.) and was denied employment based on an gender exclusion. Or if a male nurse's work hours/pay were reduced because management wanted more female nurses available... Well, labor law is not my specialty but it sure sounds like a slam dunk case to me.

It would be like United Airlines having a policy stating they cannot have two females and/or more than one Hispanic on a giving flight because they have to be sensitive to "passenger comfort". I don't think that would fly. Pun intended!

Well if I am not kicked off this site, I hope to hear from you soon:wink2:

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.
I have always used humor to attempt to relax the patient a little.
I hope it helps - I use humor a lot when I work. Most people tell me that I'm a pretty funny guy anyway :)

Actually I wonder how long I will be allowed to be on this website. I don't think I am liked that well.

Well if I am not kicked off this site, I hope to hear from you soon:wink2:

dnp2004 - unless you violate the Terms of Service (ToS), I see no reason why you should be kicked off this website.

Posting contrary or unpopular opinions are not reasons to lose membership privileges. The ToS is the binding agreement all members abide by in return for membership and posting privileges. I urge you to familiarise yourself with the ToS (click here!), if you have not already done so.

allnurses.com encourages debate and exchange of ideas, so long as it's done in a respectful manner.

If it didn't - I wouldn't be a moderator at this website... much less a member.

respectfully,

Roy

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