Patients who are my age who blush or dart questions due to embarrassment...

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm a new nurse and have noticed one or two patients my age (opposite gender) who blushed like crazy when I asked about constipation meds. My other patients don't but this one looked like he was going to die with embarrassment. He later told the NP that he needed some. Does this have to do with my age or inexperience? What the heck? Twice in a week! Is this normal to get this with some patients as a new nurse? Embarrassment and not getting all the info. from patients of the same age?

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

If you are young and a female, it's very understandable......

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Overall I find male patients to be more modest than females. They just don't verbalize it as much.

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Specializes in ER, Step-Down.

I had a trauma patient only 2 years younger than myself who absolutely REFUSED to let me bathe him in any way. He brought his girlfriend in to do it if his mother wasn't able to... *rolls eyes.* Hey, whatever makes them happy, right? He was in a semi-private room with only a curtain around the bed so they really couldn't do anything... unsavory. haha. I had another pt around my age who came in with DKA and geeeeeez, did I ever have to channel my inner Nurse Ratchet to get him to respect me. =P Surprisingly though, another pt only a few years younger actually was quite honest with me during admission questions and was open about drug/alcohol use in front of his parents. Well, somewhat. He still insisted on only having one drink prior to hospital admission when 18 hours later his blood alcohol was like, 0.18...

I actually like working with patients in my age cohort. It's a challenge and makes me work on my communication skills.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Overall I find male patients to be more modest than females. They just don't verbalize it as much.

I've found this to be true as well.

As for myself: after half a dozen pregnancies, several biopsies, a lap chole, four lithotripsies, countless EKGs and mammograms---not to mention fifteen years in health care---I HAVE no modesty anymore. :chuckle

I don't even blink when they ask me if I could possibly be pregnant; in fact, I just laugh.......I've had an endometrial ablation, both my husband and I are "fixed", I'm postmenopausal, and the 2 or 3 eggs I might have left are as old as the rest of me. How many ways can a woman NOT be pregnant??!:D

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I'm only 27, and carry a little pudge around, and I've often wondered if that makes pts less embarrassed when I ask such questions, but I"ve noticed nurses who are my age and a lot skinnier or "sexy" often get red faced pts when they have to ask that. Hehe, so I often get sent in there to ask.

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Specializes in DOU.

I always find it a little refreshing to see people being modest. So many people have no sense of it these days.

Anyway I always start of those kinds of questions by apologizing for having to ask "indiscreet" questions. Yes, they are still embarrassed, but I always get an answer.

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.

Ehhh, I'd say it's a little more 50/50 with me (ER/ED nurses will totally recognise* this) -

You go into a patient's room and introduce yourself and begin the assessment process. E.g.:

*Pushing on L and R CVA area of belly pain pt* "Does it hurt here?"

"No"

"Any difficulty urinating? Any blood or lady partsl discharge?"

"No"

So I begin normal belly pain work up for pt. In the meantime, Doc goes into room and comes out. Orders a Renal/Pelvic CT and a U-dip for blood. Instantly I recognize this as a kidney stone work up. I quiz the doc: "Oh, pt. complained of L flank tenderness and also said has trouble urinating and there's been some blood recently".

:banghead:

Makes you look like an idiot sometimes ... LOL Why do patients think that the nurses and docs don't talk to each other? :chuckle

On the other hand, I've had plenty of cases where I'll go into a room and introduce myself and despite introducing myself as the nurse, pt. will tell me all kinds of stuff "Doc, my member has been burning. Can I have something for that Doc?" etc. Stuff that pt. won't tell his/her primary nurse (who just happens to be female :rolleyes: ) Can get vexing at times... :smackingf

And of course, on the days I've shaved I get grandma and grandpa asking me "So when do you graduate high school dear?" :D

cheers,

Roy

* : 'Recognise' is spelled with an 's' and not a 'z'. I refuse to budge on this issue - no matter what my "spell checker" says. So there! :p :D

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on the other hand, i've had plenty of cases where i'll go into a room and introduce myself and despite introducing myself as the nurse, pt. will tell me all kinds of stuff "doc, my member has been burning. can i have something for that doc?" etc. stuff that pt. won't tell his/her primary nurse (who just happens to be female :rolleyes: ) can get vexing at times... :smackingf

ha, i know exactly what you mean! look on the positive side, at least they are telling you the problem as opposed to keeping silent. maybe now they will receive early treatment for a potentially serious uti that would have otherwise gotten out of control.

this points to what perhaps is a larger overlooked issue. i was reading a wikipedia article on urodynamics last night and found it to be concise, accurate and well written. the very last paragraph is the most memorable because it reads (color added):

"clearly one thing which is being completely overlooked is the fact that men are being forced to accept female led procedures for intimate, personal, intrusive and embarrassing procedures. many men choose not to proceed rather than accept this."

i first thought that was an odd paragraph because i was not too sure if it was too strong and/or exaggerated. roy, based on what you just said would you say this is a fair statement? you other caregivers can comment of course. would it be wise for a urologist to have and advertise "all male staff"? would it be considered to exclusionary to qualified female employees? also i wonder if more men would be open with their health problems this way?

okay i did the old gender word substitution and rewrote the paragraph to say:

"clearly one thing which is being completely overlooked is the fact that women are being forced to accept male led procedures for intimate, personal, intrusive and embarrassing procedures. many women choose not to proceed rather than accept this."

now i have the feeling my rewrite is more politically palatable as we all know some health centers advertise "all female staff". though in this instance it is usually seen as a pro-patient positive move. give me your thoughts.

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I always find it a little refreshing to see people being modest. So many people have no sense of it these days.

Anyway I always start of those kinds of questions by apologizing for having to ask "indiscreet" questions. Yes, they are still embarrassed, but I always get an answer.

I've found it helpful to also say that "we ask these questions of everyone so we don't miss anything." Misery loves company. :chuckle

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to -- dnp2004

i find it revealing that you're not getting any response to your last post. this is a topic many health care workers don't want to talk about, at least publically. we certainly don't want to discuss these topics openly with patient involvement. the imbalance of men and women as nurses and how that affects gender choice for intimate care. the growth of women's clinics with all female teams, but the rarity of any men's clinics with all male teams. the "i'm your assigned nurse" mentality especially for male patients. the hidden rules about what exactly it's acceptable or safe, procedure-wise, for male nurses to do on female patients. the assumption that the gender of the nurse for intimate care doesn't matter to most men, and if it does, it shouldn't, because there are no real male or female nurses, just nurses. the assuption that once you enter a hospital, gender doesn't really matter. these are the real taboo topics. changes in these areas involve too many political, economic, legal, job-related, hiring, gender issues. it's safer to just sweep them under the rug.

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on the other hand, i've had plenty of cases where i'll go into a room and introduce myself and despite introducing myself as the nurse, pt. will tell me all
kinds
of stuff "doc, my member has been burning. can i have something for that doc?" etc. stuff that pt. won't tell his/her primary nurse (who just happens to be female
:rolleyes:
) can get vexing at times... :smackingf

ha, i know exactly what you mean! look on the positive side, at least they are telling you the problem as opposed to keeping silent. maybe now they will receive early treatment for a potentially serious uti that would have otherwise gotten out of control.

this points to what perhaps is a larger overlooked issue. i was reading a wikipedia article on urodynamics last night and found it to be concise, accurate and well written. the very last paragraph is the most memorable because it reads (color added):

"clearly one thing which is being completely overlooked is the fact that men are being forced to accept female led procedures for intimate, personal, intrusive and embarrassing procedures. many men choose not to proceed rather than accept this."

i first thought that was an odd paragraph because i was not too sure if it was too strong and/or exaggerated. roy, based on what you just said would you say this is a fair statement? you other caregivers can comment of course. would it be wise for a urologist to have and advertise "all male staff"? would it be considered to exclusionary to qualified female employees? also i wonder if more men would be open with their health problems this way?

okay i did the old gender word substitution and rewrote the paragraph to say:

"clearly one thing which is being completely overlooked is the fact that women are being forced to accept male led procedures for intimate, personal, intrusive and embarrassing procedures. many women choose not to proceed rather than accept this."

now i have the feeling my rewrite is more politically palatable as we all know some health advertise "all female staff". though in this instance it is usually seen as a pro-patient positive move. give me your thoughts.

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I had older and younger male patients refuse my attempt to give them bath...I asked my instructor why she said "It all depends on the woman" and another nurse chimed in and said "The male patients always ask me to give them bath"

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