Patient care on woman or man ?

Bill E. Rubin · Sep 18, 2008

I think it happens to all of us male nurses from time to time. It has happened to me on occasion, though not as often as one might think. I've never been turned away to care for a patient, just sometimes for things like peri care, foleys, bed baths or bedpans, etc. Even then, most of the time, after I've worked with a female patient for a while, she usually becomes comfortable enough with me so that it's not a problem.

All of the patients on our unit get ECG's on admission and most are on telemetry, which involves placing leads on their chests. I have yet to be rejected for doing that, but I suppose it could happen.

Just deal with people professionally, with respect and try to preserve what dignity you can for them. If they request a female nurse, don't be offended. As I said, it usually has to do with "intimate" care... you can often switch tasks with another nurse.

In the case of bedpans, I usually tell the patient that I would be happy to get a female nurse to do it, but state (honestly) that it could be a while before that happens. Usually, the patient opts to just have me do it rather than wait. Usually, if the patient is sick enough to need a bedpan, they're not all that concerned about the gender of the nurse who puts her (or him) on it anyway... they just need to go and don't want to mess their bed. :nurse:

Derek1975 · Sep 18, 2008

There are those that won't let a man take care of them. Although I did have a few that at first were hesitant, then were ready to elect me pope after I had taken care of them on a few occasions. It all depends on the shift you're working also, if you are working night shift, there will only be about 2-3 CNAs on shift, and they likely won't have a choice if one or more is a male.

babilNK · Sep 19, 2008

hello everyone. I just what to know, have anyone been turn down by a patient because of his gender? If so, how was it handle? As a male, soon to be CNA, i was just wondering.
thanks.

I think Nursing is about patient comfort, and as a nurse you can never ignore the influence of culture and believe in patient care. culture and believe is just one aspect of this whole gender issue. Most cultures don't portray men as caring enough, and everyone under this cultural umbrella won't want men to care for them when they are sick. Other cultures don't think that members of the opposite sex should touch each other. It is a taboo and so some patients shy back or get scared. I think gender discrimination exist everywhere not just in nursing. :nurse: :chuckle

leemacaz · Sep 19, 2008

I do not think that just because a patient wants a same sex medical care provider that it amounts to gender discrimination....There are folks that for reasons of their own (ie modesty) do not want opposite sex care... That does not mean that they do not trust or are discriminating against teh provider. Only that is how they feel... medicine and practioners of it often state that patient care is not like any other profession because of its very nature. These same folks should also realise that that same nature should preclude thoughts of discrimination in most cases... No one feels exactly the same about anything as anyone else.. and does not mean that the patient is meaning in any manner to put down the provider.

When it comes to actual cases of discrimination I bet that there are more patients who are perverts or wierdos who give opposite sex providers a genuinely bad time than discriminators... something that comes home when you read other threads on here.. Worry about those guys..and maybe cut the bashfull a little more slack as they don't mean to be a pain or do harm. This goes for both female and male patients.

Thanks.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Sep 21, 2008

hello everyone. I just what to know, have anyone been turn down by a patient because of his gender? If so, how was it handle? As a male, soon to be CNA, i was just wondering.
thanks.

Never worked as a CNA, but as a nurse, the patient is simply reassigned and swapped for a patient who doesn't object. As Cityhawk mentioned, it's sometimes possible to stay the patient's nurse and defer baths, peri care, toileting to a female CNA (it isn't like I have lots of time for those tasks, anyway) and recruit a female nurse for foley placement or assessment of personal areas, and return the favor with their male pts or heavy lifting, whatever. I think that might be harder for an aide--so much of that job is personal that it would probably be better just to swap patients.

My unit currently has no male aides, so if I had a bashful male patient, I'd just have to pick up what the aide couldn't do. That hasn't actually happened, yet, but like Cityhawk I often find that even modest women soon decide they'd rather let the male who is right there help them with a bedpan than wait until a female is available.

You'd think from some threads on these boards, and maybe from "common sense," that it would be more of a problem than it has, in my experience.

Many of my patients are older, and this isn't their first time at the rodeo.

Most of them are happy just to see that you care about them.

Batman24 · Sep 21, 2008

Both sexes treat both sexes at my hospital. We have no male techs on either shift but two male nurses at night who are wonderful. They get turned down by a few males here and there but neither have been turned down by females on our M/S unit.

50caliber · Sep 30, 2008

I am finishing up nursing school and my only experiences of being turned down were mostly with female patients in post partum. Never took offense to it. A lot of it is culture related/personal preference and is something you have to respect.

karenG · Oct 1, 2008

I've had similiar problems in the past. Because I am a woman, I have had men refuse care from me because it interfers with religious beliefs- usually seikh men. for some religions, a woman cannot be alone with a man- regardless of who that man is. think about some of the middle eastern countries and their religions. I would suggest that there are times when you have to respect a persons religious beliefs.. and if that means finding another nurse to give the care than so be it.

there are other threads about this but I'm not great at putting in links to other threads!

nugget28659 · Oct 4, 2008

I have just passed my CNA state test ,but have been working in a long term care facility for about a month now. I have had several women not want me to even be in there room let alone care for them. I do not take it personal . They are starting to be more relaxed and are slowly letting me help them more. On the other hand I have several that call for me all the time. I have also had 2 that wanted me to care for them at there home. Time and alot of patience will make the world of difference. :up:

aaronrnmedic · Oct 10, 2008

I have not been turned down by anyone yet. Then again, probably not going to happen too often in the ED. I have asked pts if they would rather I get a female to help out with procedures such as a pelvic exam.

David_b · Oct 20, 2008

hi, i totally understand your concern. but i can assure you its not really a valid one. firstly, i firmly believe that in order to succeed on a female dominated profession, a male must be the best if they want to be treated as an equal.

Its an unfortunate reality across the board, in male dominated careas, such as merchanics, when you do find a female, you wont find them on your local gaurage. they'll be working on the race cars or goverment facilities like NASA. the same goes in female dominated carers.

heres what i do to survive (i can't believe the first time i'm ever going to say this is on a public forum).

1- all in all patients are generally good and happy for you to look after them. in over 7years in nursing (first as an AIN) i have only ever had 1 pt who refused for me to do any personal care.

2- whenever i get a new pt that i will need to be interment with, and i expect would feel uncomfortable, i will go to them and introduce my self, and i will openly discuss with them what i would like to do with them (NOTE: 'do with them' not 'do to them') in a much depth as they like. this often takes up to 10min or more, in doing this my only purpose is to make them feel comfortable with and around me, if they can't trust me with their gear on, how can i ever expect them to trust me with it off. in this visit i will NOT do anything to them, no BP to TPR, nothing. when I'm with them that first time, its not as nurse X its as David, I'm there to be friendly and nonclinical.

3- when I'm with them that first time i will mention everything invasive that i would like to do with them, and ask them if their ok with it. if not i we will explore it further to find out why and often its simple things that we take for granted as nurses. remember, everyday we go in and do things that in any other context in any society would be considered at the very least socially wrong, and often illegal. we must see the world as the patient does. e.g

-stripping someone who is unconsus naked and fondelling them for 30min- a bed barth.

- telling a person to strip naked and sit still while a perfect stranger sticks a strange thing into their genitals - a catheter

- even things as simple as a BP, when your out shopping, how often does the stranger in the line in front of you turn around and squeezing you arm. how often do you even touch someone you've never met before outside of work.

4- my empathetic appearance in not helped by my 6foot, biceps as big a you head type of build, so men need to compensate, talk in a soft, calm voice, as though you helping them to meditate. this will overcome the perception that this halk can't be gentle.

5- my secret wepon: on patients i know are not happy being cared for by a man, and i have not been able to talk it through with them. i simply become less manly, i let them think that I'm gay (but for god sake don't tell them that), I'm naturally very feminen which makes this a lot easier and only a very small change. but you'll be amaised how many pt's would be happy to have a gay man look after them then a straight one, and sometimes, even over the women. (if in doing this i have offended anyone from the G and L community, i am very, very sorry. this is not my intention at all, my goal in the best possible pt care and i have found this to be an effective way of doing this. once again, if i have offended, i am deeply sorry).

6- finally it is absolutely vital to remember that at the end of the day when all is said and done, it is still the pt's body and therefore their choice no matter what. you must look at the context, maybe, that time when there in hospital is the 5th year anniversary since they were raped, and they wont even let their husbands touch them, not to mention a perfect stranger giving then a bed bath.

reading back over this, I'm not too sure that i have really helped you too much in what you were actually after, but i hope you can get something from it.

David